That's nothing. I was a retail pharmacist very briefly:
Patient: I need something for pain.
Pharmacist: Something like Tylenol or Motrin?
Pt: Something with codeine
Ph: Do you have any allergies?
Pt: Tylenol and codeine. And Aspirin. And Motrin.
Ph:


you are allergic to codeine, but you want it?
Pt: Well, I'm allergic to every drug, but I need something for "the pain".
Ph:
I later learned that "the pain" was a common ailment and that there were many patients allergic to "every drug".
And this is why I hate people (although there are individuals of whom I am quite fond).
In my college days I worked at a liquor store, the customers we got there made you question Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest.
Typical wine discussion with a customer...
Customer - I need some wine for a date tonight
Me - what vineyard or type of wine would you like?
Customer - I don't know
Me - do you want a red or a white wine?
Customer - not sure, what's the difference?
Me (trying hard not to roll my eyes) - besides the color, the flavor and the cost they're all about the same.
Customer - in that case I'll take a red wine, it's her favorite color.
Me - are you having this with dinner?
Customer - no, we'll probably have beer with dinner, this is for after dinner, you know, to get her in the mood.
Me (suspecting a known outcome, but asking the question anyway) - about how much did you want to spend?
Customer - oh, maybe five or ten dollars.
Me (now entering passive aggressive mode) - sounds like Thunderbird would be perfect for your date.
Customer - is that good wine?
Me (putting lipstick on a pig) - keep it in the fridge and serve it on ice with a slice of an orange on top and she'll be impressed.
Customer - cool, I'll take ten dollars worth.
Me - ok, here's your five bottles, enjoy.
Cool - that's enough for a couple of dates, thanks man!
Me (muttering under my breath) - good luck with that!