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Tip #4 Never Play Venues with Balloons

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by dtripoli, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. Caution:
    Balloons are like a dog whistle to unstable audience members.
    When all else fails you can use your guitar as a weapon.
    If it's good enough for Keith, it's good enough for me.

    Dont touch.
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2016
    Bassammich and elgecko like this.
  2. elgecko


    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA

    Keith don't take no mess!
  3. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Avoid balloons at all costs!!!

    In a former life, I ran a retail warehouse outlet. We had a grand opening one week with lots of helium-filled balloons. First night, the balloons started deflating and falling to the floor. This motion was picked up by the indoor security system. Guess who got the 3am phone call from the security company??
    cronker, MattZilla and Jimmy4string like this.
  4. I can just hear the guy after the show, if he remembers.
    "Keef hit me with his guitar, right here, and here, and here!"
    kcole4001 and dtripoli like this.
  5. twinjet

    twinjet GE90-equipped Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    The hook on my L-2000 is a sharp bastage. I'd be popping bloonz left and right.

  6. jbybj

    jbybj Supporting Member

    Jun 11, 2008
    Los Angeles
    Jeebus, Mick sounds like poopie in that clip.
    kcole4001 and vulturedog like this.
  7. No one, including Mick, ever claimed he was an accomplished singer in the first place but Keith is a great swinging and playing ax man.
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2016
  8. Back in the late 80's a touring lighting company I worked for were contracted to do the lighting for the big dance party of the upcoming Gay Mardi Gras in Sydney. Someone came up with the idea of using confetti cannons like the one below to fire condoms into the crowd at the end of the party.
    The way they worked (back then) was you put a large charge in the bottom (a maroon they were called), you then put a piece of cardboard or two cut to that circular shape on top and filled it with confetti. When you set off the charge it fires the confetti in the air.

    So, instead of confetti we filled it with condoms for a test fire in the warehouse. This was a large warehouse with a ceiling that was at least 30 foot high or more which we thought should be fine. Confetti rarely went any higher than that.

    We cleared most of the road cases and equipment to the edges of the warehouse, set it up in the middle of the floor and all gathered around for the test fire...... it went BANG as it should and condoms flew up into the air. Unfortunately the explosion shredded the condom packs and lubricated condoms were stuck all over the ceiling. :eek: The rest were all over the floor in small pieces. :vomit: For the next month pieces of condom would randomly fall from the ceiling prompting the owner to set up a bed in the office as he couldn't set the alarm without it going off a few times every night. :laugh: :roflmao: :laugh: :roflmao:

    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  9. jbybj

    jbybj Supporting Member

    Jun 11, 2008
    Los Angeles
  10. Beej


    Feb 10, 2007
    Victoria, BC
    I don't think I've ever heard a clip or seen them live when he didn't sound like poopie. Poopie sound and stellar frontman performances are sorta his thing... :)
  11. jbybj

    jbybj Supporting Member

    Jun 11, 2008
    Los Angeles
    I find this confusing, bewildering even. How do you define the word "stellar"?
    farace likes this.
  12. Beej


    Feb 10, 2007
    Victoria, BC
    LOL, guess I'm old enough to remember when there weren't modern comparisons...
  13. jbybj

    jbybj Supporting Member

    Jun 11, 2008
    Los Angeles
    I started making comparisons in 1969, when I was 10. The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Sha-Na-Na, Kris Kristofferson, the Broadway cast recording of "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown", Joni Mitchell, they all sounded awesome to me, vocally and in composition. The only Rolling Stones record I've ever owned was a gift.

    I'll admit I do have a lot of fun playing Satisfaction in my band. My bass part is far superior to the original though.............
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2016
  14. cronker


    Feb 13, 2007
    I work in a function venue where lots of parties and weddings love to have balloons. Getting the wake up call at 5 in the morning from the security company was so annoying when I would only have finished work at 3.
    We bought a three metre length of dowel and stuck a very sharp long haberdashery pin on the end, and one of the staff would go around the room at the end of the night popping all the balloons.
    Well, we kinda got in trouble once when the client showed up the next day to collect their $300 worth of balloons. Whoops.
    DirtDog likes this.
  15. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Oh man - that's awesome!

  16. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Frat-Pack Sympathizer

    I was in a band with a singer-songwriter a long time ago. For one gig, she brought what had to be hundreds of yellow smiley-face balloons. We sat in a booth and blew them all up using just lung power. By the time we were done, you couldn't walk through the venue without wading through a sea of bobbing smileys. They were literally up to your knees wherever you walked. You could hear them popping all night. By the end of the night, the bar was covered in broken balloons. It was an epic mess. We went to the owner, apologized, and asked for the brooms and dustpans. But he was mad at his bartender so he sent us home and made the bartender clean it all up instead.
    BAG and DirtDog like this.

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