In a live situation you either sound clean or distorted, trebley or bassy, too loud or too quiet. You are absolutely right in thinking the obsession with gear is nuts. When the US economy falls apart, perhaps people will get their priorities straight and just start playing music instead of collecting all this crap.
The thing is, people often equate the pursuit of tone as the same thing as the pursuit of gear. Although they're not mutually exclusive things, they certainly aren't one in the same.
I had a lesson with Michael Manring and as much as my Modulus sounded great when I played it, when he was messing around on it, it just had a whole other new life to it. Sure, it was his amazing skill that obviously set him apart, but also a huge part of the musicality is the tone you impart. He played AND sounded better through my rig than I did.
Classical musicians are known for their impressive discipline, but you'll never hear any one of them say tone isn't important.
I don't think tone is the ultimate end, but yes it is important.
And with all the references to punk, I don't think it's fair for a punk musician to be "punk-centric" and impose that everyone has to subscribe to that lifestyle or mentality. And vice versa, of course.
It's all context. As much as "tone doesn't matter" to a punk musician, if I bring a super nice exotic Fodera and refuse to dirty it up and only slap on it for a punk gig, I assume the general consensus would shun me. It would sound not or feel right.
There really are general rules of context, even to a genre that tries to defy rules.