Our church has 10 worship teams. The one I play for has a music professor as the band leader, and his wife (also a music teacher) as keyboards. Before I started playing, I got some tips - 'He's hard to work with', 'too many rules', 'his way or the highway'. I met him, and there's an argument that those tips are true. But it's also true that we're the tightest and best worship team in the church, and it's rare that we even need subs, never mind replacements on instruments (last personnel change was over a year ago). As far as I'm concerned, our BL doesn't have rules - he has standards. Maybe the OP will fnid the same thing, and a well-played fretless will be welcome at worship?
This is actually a great point. A couple years ago, I served as choir president (administrative leader) for my church choir, along with a well-experienced, highly-skilled choir director (musical leader) who had developed an undeserved reputation as an unreasonable person and a hard taskmaster.
In fact, it was I who pushed him to implement some guidelines & standards; to implement some well-needed discipline, so the choir could reach its considerable potential. As a result, some - though not all - of the congregation's members, including some choir members themselves - turned against him, complaining bitterly about the new guidelines, until the whole program ultimately fell apart, and had to be rebuilt - without the director - or me. I still bristle at the unfair politics of it all...
It's perfectly possible that this worship leader is similarly misunderstood - and similarly maligned. People can be cruel. People can be childish.

MM