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Urinal Etiquette

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#61
How do you explain water booboo on the floor, right next to the toilet?

Or changing a baby's diaper, only to turn the dirty one upside-down on the counter and rub it back and forth?

Or putting your dirty sanitary napkins in the sink, even when the "naughty box" isn't full?!? It isn't even full!!!! :bawl:
 
#63
The Victim

OK, I'm letting a nasty secret out. I probably shouldn't let this one out of the bag since it took place in my younger, dumber, and nastier days. There was a guy I worked with at Albertson's grocery store. It must have been his first job because he couldn't work to save his life. He was hired because his father was friends with one of the managers.

The Justification

One day I was teamed up with him and among other things he was not keeping carts in the store. I was busting butt trying to keep them in the store while he's inside where it's cool bagging groceries and doing nothing else. I get a call to go up to the Store Director's office and I get chewed out because the new guy is out bagging me! Give me a break! If this guy was any sort of courtesy clerk he would have been doing his part to keep the carts in the store, running price checks all while accomplishing a list of many other closing duties.

The Crime

Fortunately, some of the other managers felt the same way and had my back. One night when we were slammed and he was goofing around someone came up with the idea of taking a dump on the upstairs bathroom floor and have Wesley clean it up. Cleaning the bathroom was one of the store closing duties. There was nothing more satisfying taking a dump on the floor knowing that Wesley would soon be sent to clean it up. Wesley had many irritating qualities and soon cleaning dump off the floor became a regular part of his routine. So much so that my nick name became torpedo.
 
#65
sneha1965 said:
The Victim

OK, I'm letting a nasty secret out. I probably shouldn't let this one out of the bag since it took place in my younger, dumber, and nastier days. There was a guy I worked with at Albertson's grocery store. It must have been his first job because he couldn't work to save his life. He was hired because his father was friends with one of the managers.

The Justification

One day I was teamed up with him and among other things he was not keeping carts in the store. I was busting butt trying to keep them in the store while he's inside where it's cool bagging groceries and doing nothing else. I get a call to go up to the Store Director's office and I get chewed out because the new guy is out bagging me! Give me a break! If this guy was any sort of courtesy clerk he would have been doing his part to keep the carts in the store, running price checks all while accomplishing a list of many other closing duties.

The Crime

Fortunately, some of the other managers felt the same way and had my back. One night when we were slammed and he was goofing around someone came up with the idea of taking a dump on the upstairs bathroom floor and have Wesley clean it up. Cleaning the bathroom was one of the store closing duties. There was nothing more satisfying taking a dump on the floor knowing that Wesley would soon be sent to clean it up. Wesley had many irritating qualities and soon cleaning dump off the floor because a regular part of his routine. So much so that my nick name became torpedo.
Click to expand...

That is sick, vile, and disgusting... I think I found my new best friend :D:D:D
 
#67
At a University public restroom, my son and I came in to discover the urinal ( a long trough down one wall with no dividers for privacy) had about twenty users and about 7 different lines of people waiting their "turn". My son was home on leave from Marine duty in Iraq. Under his breath he muttered "Civilians", and pushed his way past the lines and into a six inch gap between people at the urinal.
 
#73
sneha1965 said:
The Victim

OK, I'm letting a nasty secret out. I probably shouldn't let this one out of the bag since it took place in my younger, dumber, and nastier days. There was a guy I worked with at Albertson's grocery store. It must have been his first job because he couldn't work to save his life. He was hired because his father was friends with one of the managers.

The Justification

One day I was teamed up with him and among other things he was not keeping carts in the store. I was busting butt trying to keep them in the store while he's inside where it's cool bagging groceries and doing nothing else. I get a call to go up to the Store Director's office and I get chewed out because the new guy is out bagging me! Give me a break! If this guy was any sort of courtesy clerk he would have been doing his part to keep the carts in the store, running price checks all while accomplishing a list of many other closing duties.

The Crime

Fortunately, some of the other managers felt the same way and had my back. One night when we were slammed and he was goofing around someone came up with the idea of taking a dump on the upstairs bathroom floor and have Wesley clean it up. Cleaning the bathroom was one of the store closing duties. There was nothing more satisfying taking a dump on the floor knowing that Wesley would soon be sent to clean it up. Wesley had many irritating qualities and soon cleaning dump off the floor became a regular part of his routine. So much so that my nick name became torpedo.
Click to expand...

tumblr_lcd4eaLJbu1qbxcao.gif
 
#74
Livewire said:
Once at a bar, this dude was behind me waiting to use the urinal and he goes "You pee like a racehorse!"... I immediately stopped, zipped up, washed my hands, and left...
Click to expand...

You should of said, "That's right Wilbur!!!"

Urinal etiquette to me is not to spray on my fellow urinal users.
And never say, "What's up?"
Yeah, don't ever say that.
 
#75
sneha1965 said:
The Victim

OK, I'm letting a nasty secret out. I probably shouldn't let this one out of the bag since it took place in my younger, dumber, and nastier days. There was a guy I worked with at Albertson's grocery store. It must have been his first job because he couldn't work to save his life. He was hired because his father was friends with one of the managers.

The Justification

One day I was teamed up with him and among other things he was not keeping carts in the store. I was busting butt trying to keep them in the store while he's inside where it's cool bagging groceries and doing nothing else. I get a call to go up to the Store Director's office and I get chewed out because the new guy is out bagging me! Give me a break! If this guy was any sort of courtesy clerk he would have been doing his part to keep the carts in the store, running price checks all while accomplishing a list of many other closing duties.

The Crime

Fortunately, some of the other managers felt the same way and had my back. One night when we were slammed and he was goofing around someone came up with the idea of taking a dump on the upstairs bathroom floor and have Wesley clean it up. Cleaning the bathroom was one of the store closing duties. There was nothing more satisfying taking a dump on the floor knowing that Wesley would soon be sent to clean it up. Wesley had many irritating qualities and soon cleaning dump off the floor became a regular part of his routine. So much so that my nick name became torpedo.
Click to expand...

Anyone who poops on a bathroom floor is my hero! :hyper:
 
#78
rollerberg2000 said:
...My son was home on leave from Marine duty in Iraq...pushed his way past the lines and into a six inch gap between people at the urinal.
Click to expand...

Yeppers...no place for all that modesty crap in my Corps. After enough open showers, pissers, and crappers, not to mention the typical 15~20 minute window to s***, shower, shave, dress, and be standing tall for morning formation, you get immune to the sight of another man's junk, someone close enough to touch dropping a mud monkey, bleeding the lizard, etc. It's also a good time to catch up on the latest scuttlebutt, so conversation during evacuation of waste is a given.
 
#80
Related by a friend who traveled to a rock festival with a bus full of rockers way back in the day. His cohort, who was quite drunk at the time decided he needed to go desperately, but the driver wouldn't stop the bus for him to do his thing. So he decided to fill a plastic bag and dispose of it somehow, namely by jettisoning it through the vent hatch in the roof of the bus. Unfortunately when he tried to throw this bag up and out of there he didn't notice the vent was semi closed, it exploded on impact and soaked everyone in proximity, he was persona non grata for the rest of the trip obviously, not a good move.
 
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