Venting - LS can't handle playing in a bar that serves shots.

[lat]

So now you know what the LS does in his free time when his family is around.

Well, he does have a bit of a WC Fields nose on him... Wasn't wanting to judge, but there may be some dots to connect here... lol

 

[lat]

Guy screws up once, probably because his family's there goading him on so you automatically assume he's going to be like that at every venue that serves hard liquor? One-time happenstance and you rule out any place that sells hard liquor as a potential venue? Myopic.

For all you know his family could show up at another gig and nobody has shots, or if they do he reins it in and lets his family go their own inebriated way.



The world would be a wwwwaayyyyyy F'd up place if everyone held to the ZERO TOLERANCE stance so many are keen to espouse.
I'd definitely get it across to the guy it was a bit much, joke with him that "next time you're fired" or find some way of getting the sentiment across, and getting his side of the story.

Case-by-case, try it, you might find it works... most of the time.

Seems that LS needs to stay away from venues that serve hard liquor.

Not assuming that it will happen again.... but also wanting to make sure it doesn't happen again... and also... Venting

 

[lat]

At rehearsal or whatever, ask him how he felt the gig went. If he doesn't see the problem, THAT'S a problem. If he admits he was off the rails, then you have a chance that it won't happen again. Make it very clear that his future with the band depends on it not happening again.

We are having a slack chat in parallel to me posting on this thread. So far he seems oblivious...
His first slack post after the gig:
"Hey guys great show last night !
Everyone had a lot a lot of fun
Kudos to you guys for making my job easy !! Y’all sounded great !"

I posted this, to try and solicit more information:
"So, are there any takeaways from the gig on what we can do better? ... and also what went well."

EDIT: He responded to my query... Yeah, he's oblivious....

 

[Iristone]

Someone in my band barely keeps his time against a metronome. Not the LG, not the bassist, not me.

 

[LBS-bass]

We are having a slack chat in parallel to me posting on this thread. So far he seems oblivious...
His first slack post after the gig:
"Hey guys great show last night !
Everyone had a lot a lot of fun
Kudos to you guys for making my job easy !! Y’all sounded great !"

I posted this, to try and solicit more information:
"So, are there any takeaways from the gig on what we can do better? ... and also what went well."

EDIT: He responded to my query... Yeah, he's oblivious....

What does everyone else in the band think?

 

[lat]

What does everyone else in the band think?

I mentioned it to the others at the gig while we were tearing down, but we couldn't really talk about it, because the LS was close to being in ear-shot. On slack so far, radio silence on this topic, which may or may not mean something...

 

[Zooberwerx]

I know and can easily identify highly-functioning alcoholics. Bottom line and for whatever reason: you embarrass or humiliate me in public and we'll never share a stage again.

Riis

 

[Mike N]

I played a gig where the lead singer took 21 shots of Jager...and did great. Thankfully he wasn’t driving and they all seemed to hit him on the ride home.

21 shots in how long of a time frame??

I've got a pretty good capacity for alcohol, but not that much..... especially Jager.

 

[Nephilymbass]

So, one of the bands I'm in is made of up older guys, two of which are in the health care industry (so are all about taking care of their bodies) and the other three of us are retired. I'm the youngest, at 56. Needless to say, we've all experienced enough of life that I thought we all would be mature enough to know that when we are gigging, we are working, and keeping your alcohol consumption at a manageable level is required. We have played at other venues where this has never been a noticeable issue.

Apparently I was mistaken.

We had a gig last Saturday at a small bar, which can comfortably seat about 80 people. I had previously booked a gig with my other band that went well, so I booked a gig for this band, expecting things to be even better, since the musicianship in this one is of a higher calibre.

LS has a table of family members at the gig. First set went off well. A little bit of weirdness where the LS called some audibles to the set list, but, if his voice can't handle a song that night, then that's cool, nothing we haven't done several times in the past. But, the way he was acting seemed a bit strange...

Second set is getting a bit loose. Unbeknownst to me at the time, LS's family table is starting into the shots. In hindsight, he has probably partaken before the start of the second set. He's rambling into the mic, getting in my face when I'm trying to focus on my playing, missing his queues, etc... I am getting a bit frustrated, but oh well, things are still basically OK. After the second set, the bar owner gave us the max bonus for the night, since we essentially sold out the place. Everybody's happy.

Second break sees the shots come fast and furious. One of LS's family members is INSISTING on EVERYONE at their table having shots.

LS obliges.

Third set is a bit of a trainwreck. LS is stumbling around on stage, slurring his words, making incoherent statements into the mic, totally f'ing up his lines and missing his queues all over the place. He now thinks that he's the star of the show and everyone in the room is there solely to see him, and we are just supporting his wanking. To top it off, his drunk wife yells out that she wants to hear the song that he didn't want to sing in the first set, so of course now he wants to do it. We shut that down quick, thankfully. All of this has the LG and I (just one guitar and me on bass, plus drummer and keys) trying to compensate, sometimes more successfully than others. I thought I had my frustration in check, but I was gobsmacked by his behaviour. What are we, 19 year olds? I spend the rest of the set just trying to hang on, stay focused and get through it. We hit midnight, our time commitment for playing, and I was off the stage as soon I could. Managed to hold my tongue that night, since telling a drunk guy that he's drunk rarely ends well.

So far, this situation is a one off. Up until now we have just played venues where only beer / wine were served. Seems that LS needs to stay away from venues that serve hard liquor. It may be the charitable thing to give him another chance, but I really didn't like having to compensate for his unprofessionalism. In my books, if you can't tow your own weight, then I'm not going to carry you... Will be making a general statement at some point about the fact that we need to treat gigs like work, and not cross the line with alcohol consumption.

Not sure how to word it so that LS doesn't get his back up. Will word it so that it's in keeping with my signature here, but also want to make sure the message gets through...

How would you all handle it? Or, how have you handled similar situations in the past?

grr... senior citizens acting like teenagers... WTAF?!?

Id address the issue in front of the entire band so they know how you feel about it and if it happens again after addressing it walk away from the project.

Alcoholism is no joke. If it’s more than just a rare thing You're a better friend to your bandmate by walking away instead of being an enabler. I have a good friend that we go all the way back to high school (20 years) that I played in a band with for several years.
His drinking got so bad the band eventually drew the line and kicked him out when he missed a gig because he was in jail for the weekend. It’s was a tough situation because I honestly still feel that he was the member of the band with the most god given talent, and it was sad to see that talent wasted when other members of the band put in a lot of work to be as good as they were. I don’t hang out with him anymore. We keep up a little bit on Facebook and that’s it. But he’s alive, and he’s not in jail. As much as I miss being in a band with him and hanging out with him. We clearly did the right thing.

 

[wraub]

Maybe it's not so much about playing in bars with shots, maybe it's more about playing in bars with shots while the LS has family present.

 

[callofcthulhu]

21 shots in how long of a time frame??

I've got a pretty good capacity for alcohol, but not that much..... especially Jager.

Yeah that's gotta be hyperbole. Pretty sure you'd be dead.

 

[lat]

Maybe it's not so much about playing in bars with shots, maybe it's more about playing in bars with shots while the LS has family present.

Yeah... there's that. Hall gigs we've played has had his family attend, but with beer / wine only, no shots were fired. lol

 

[lat]

Id address the issue in front of the entire band so they know how you feel about it and if it happens again after addressing it walk away from the project.

Alcoholism is no joke. If it’s more than just a rare thing You're a better friend to your bandmate by walking away instead of being an enabler. I have a good friend that we go all the way back to high school (20 years) that I played in a band with for several years.
His drinking got so bad the band eventually drew the line and kicked him out when he missed a gig because he was in jail for the weekend. It’s was a tough situation because I honestly still feel that he was the member of the band with the most god given talent, and it was sad to see that talent wasted when other members of the band put in a lot of work to be as good as they were. I don’t hang out with him anymore. We keep up a little bit on Facebook and that’s it. But he’s alive, and he’s not in jail. As much as I miss being in a band with him and hanging out with him. We clearly did the right thing.

I'm toying with the idea of saying that we need a band policy that states no one is to play at a gig if they aren't legal to drive. 0.05% blood alcohol concentration in these parts... If it happens again, then I'm out....

 

[pappabass]

There has to be some self control.
Hard to find beer/wine only places. Maybe playing restaurants only would be safer for him

 

[lat]

There has to be some self control.
Hard to find beer/wine only places. Maybe playing restaurants only would be safer for him

Agreed, which is why I'm not going to limit myself based on his shortcomings. If he does it again, I think I'm out... Just need to figure out how to communicate this in a positive, but effective, manner.

 

[Shalto]

Just tell him it's not cool and you don't want to play with him drunk. Do it in such a manner that it doesn't publicly shame him and reduces the temptation to get defensive. He either agrees or doesn't and you decide whether you tolerate it or stop playing with him.

 

[AboutSweetSue]

I’d pay to see this poopie-show. As for making comments about his behavior....I wouldn’t worry about it for now.

 

[Richard Lindsey]

I know this will be an unpopular post, but given that you're all just a bunch of old guys doing this for fun, for peanuts, to nobody, maybe just let it go and let the guy have fun when his friends are in the audience.

Maybe have a few yourself if that'll help you get over it.

Even if you're just playing for fun, a lot of folks actually find it a LOT more fun to play well (or at least to the best of your ability) than to play badly (or well below your ability), especially when the ineptitude could have been avoided without any great difficulty. The LS may have been enjoying himself, but it doesn't sound as if his bandmates were.

 

[MYLOWFREQ]

How to handle that? You need to set up a band meeting and make it serious (not just a band hangout, but a band meeting). Then with all your seriousness tell them how you like hanging out and playing with them, and how alcohol ruins it. Tell them you want to play with them again unless this happens, and see how it goes from there. $#!+ happens to the best of us, and talking is the best thing to do before breaking up.

 

[Trabeen]

I was about a full page into this saga before I figured out what “LS” meant, carry on.