Venting - LS can't handle playing in a bar that serves shots.

[buldog5151bass]

I know this will be an unpopular post, but given that you're all just a bunch of old guys doing this for fun, for peanuts, to nobody, maybe just let it go and let the guy have fun when his friends are in the audience.

Maybe have a few yourself if that'll help you get over it.

Yeah, that's an unpopular post. Age is irrelevant. If you are performing, you are performing. What would you say if you paid money to see a show, and saw that?

If you want to get drunk and play music, play ion your house.

 

[mc900ftj]

 

[lat]

What would you say if you paid money to see a show, and saw that?

That's the thing. There was a $10 cover, so people paid to see him stagger around in the third set. Luckily a lot of people had left in between the second and third sets, but still, paying customers were there to witness his downward spiral. And, whether it's 10 or 100 dollars or just the price of your drinks, you are spending money to go out and it's up to the band to put on the best show possible.

 

[Stumbo]

We are having a slack chat in parallel to me posting on this thread. So far he seems oblivious...
His first slack post after the gig:
"Hey guys great show last night !
Everyone had a lot a lot of fun
Kudos to you guys for making my job easy !! Y’all sounded great !"

I posted this, to try and solicit more information:
"So, are there any takeaways from the gig on what we can do better? ... and also what went well."

EDIT: He responded to my query... Yeah, he's oblivious....

So, he doesn't remember what happened? That WC Fields nose is looking a lot bigger now...

 

[lat]

So, he doesn't remember what happened? That WC Fields nose is looking a lot bigger now...

Watch out for that first step, it's a doozy. (Admitting to yourself you have a problem.)

 

[SAlcott]

No shots til after the gig. Period.

 

[downunder]

I’m not a fan of Band meetings. In this instance LS is likely going to feel like he’s being ganged up on. And in general I think they’re a waste of time. You might want to sound the other guys in the band to see how they feel first. But you booked the gig. I say just call him and tell him straight up how You feel. It’s not fun. But then he knows what’s expected of him, and What the consequences are if he doesn’t control himself.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

Just reading this thread is making me thirsty... for shots....

 

[Stumbo]

I’m not a fan of Band meetings. In this instance LS is likely going to feel like he’s being ganged up on. And in general I think they’re a waste of time. You might want to sound the other guys in the band to see how they feel first. But you booked the gig. I say just call him and tell him straight up how You feel. It’s not fun. But then he knows what’s expected of him, and What the consequences are if he doesn’t control himself.

Too bad he'll feel like he's being ganged up on! Should have thought of that before he got drunk. Same for drunk drivers. That's why certain people shouldn't drink.

 

[callofcthulhu]

Yeah, that's an unpopular post. Age is irrelevant. If you are performing, you are performing. What would you say if you paid money to see a show, and saw that?

If you want to get drunk and play music, play ion your house.

I mean you asked, so: the only situations I can imagine paying to see old guys playing covers at a dive bar are if 1) I knew them, in which case it wouldn't really matter how well they performed, or 2) it was a total lark, in which case it wouldn't really matter how well they performed, but I might actually remember them and tell my friends about it if there was someone stumbling around ranting drunkenly on stage.

Like I said, you asked.

 

[downunder]

Too bad he'll feel like he's being ganged up on! Should have thought of that before he got drunk. Same for drunk drivers. That's why certain people shouldn't drink.

Well yeah I guess it doesn’t really matter how he feels, considering what he did. But what’s the point? Everybody gets in a room And puts him on the spot and then what? Seems to me it could be done just as effectively with a phone call.

 

[downunder]

Just reading this thread is making me thirsty... for shots....

Me too! I poured myself a bourbon just now

 

[lat]

Up until now, we haven't had a formal policy on not over-drinking at gigs, since there hasn't been an issue, and I thought that everyone understood that was a given. I think, going forward, we should state the policy and get everyone's buy-in. If he does it again after that, then I would feel fine about walking, or at least singling him out and giving him an ultimatum.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

Me too! I poured myself a bourbon just now

 

[Beej]

Older than 56 and still doing this? Al-co-hol-ic...

Try a pleasant conversation. Try an intervention. Try an ultimatum. Try everything. Then eventually walk...

 

[devnulljp]

I saw REM in a couple of small venues in the 80s before they became big. One time, Michael Stipe was so wasted he just mumbled something into the mic then lay on the stage for the rest of the gig. Mick Miles sang all the songs. Pete Buck looked pretty angry and occasionally went over and kicked the recumbent singer.
poopie happens I guess.

 

[mikewalker]

"You can take the LS out of the LSD, but you can't take the LSD out of the LS"...

 

[murph7489]

this one is a tough one...I guess what I'm wondering and I've only read the first page so maybe there is an update, but...how does he feel..I mean it's possible that he knows he made a mistake, and feels really bad about it..I can't imagine he feels good about his performance. He HAS to know that it wasn't good and hasn't said anything yet or there has been no communication since the gig, and maybe he will admit and maybe even apologize for his transgression..you said yourself that it hasn't happened before...I think that its possible that all this "prepared to walk" and impending doom talk is a little premature..

I get it that if its a continuing situation that something has to be done because the band will suffer, and I've been there..We all know that when a band member introduces mind altering substances into his body, be it alcohol or drugs etc, your ability to play well is almost always limited and sometimes ruined...

I would think that this is a one off, or at the very least a rare occurrence and probably should be something that you all should let go...no harm no foul..sounds to me that an intervention is not required at this time...

 

[JMacBass65]

Christ guys, 50 something isn’t THAT old. Anyway......

Based on everything else you (op) has said, this sounds like a one off, not just for him, but for his family. That’s the thing about alcohol, have a few too many, particularly is quick succession, and after that all bets are off because your judgement is out the window. Doing shots is a good way to get there quick.

As an outside observer with a fair bit of experience with drunks (family) I can say alcoholics are going to find a way to get drunk regardless of what is on offer, they aren’t picky. I’d venture to say if he’s a drunk, this would have revealed itself already, even at beer/wine only venues. So the fact that this hasn’t happened before, and only seemed to happen because shots were involved (that’s the only variable I have heard), I’d give him a break. People make mistakes, particularly when alcohol is involved.

I’d be up front and frank about my expectations going forward, but I’d be somewhat casual about how I said it.

 

[two fingers]

I agree, but I DO believe in second chances. As a practical matter, it's more work to replace a guy than to let him correct errant behavior on his own. So giving him a second chance is actually in the best interests of the band, rather than the singer.

I probably didn't communicate that well. What I meant is that he would have gotten such a speech after the first time he wouldn't have dared do it again. I didn't mean fire him after the first time. Reading back it seemed that way.