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What's the funniest joke you know?
- Thread starter soulgeezer
- Start date
- Status
How many vocalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hold the lightbulb while the whole world revolves around him.
One. To hold the lightbulb while the whole world revolves around him.
- Feb 21, 2007
- 1,853
- 7
- Disclosures
- Endorser:Fender User:Rotosound, LaBella, Ashdown, Lindy Fralin
a farmer walks into his bedroom where his wife is sleeping with a goat under his arm. Suddenly he shouts drunkenly "this is the pig I have sex with when youre not around!"
The wife, now awake says, "honey, youre drunk and thats a goat."
The farmer replies "I wasnt talking to you"
The wife, now awake says, "honey, youre drunk and thats a goat."
The farmer replies "I wasnt talking to you"
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
> me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
> started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
> finished?"
>
> Blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
>
> Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
>
> She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
> the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
> then turns to her and says,
>
> "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
> assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
>
> He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
> nice cup of tea, and then ....."
>
> He sighed................
>
> "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
> me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
> started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
> finished?"
>
> Blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
>
> Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
>
> She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
> the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
> then turns to her and says,
>
> "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
> assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
>
> He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
> nice cup of tea, and then ....."
>
> He sighed................
>
> "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
4 yr old Daughter: "Look under there!"
Daddy (me): "Under where?"
4 yr old Daughter: "AHA, I made you say Underwear!"
LOL. She will go with that one all day, killing herself laughing and that to me is always funny.
Daddy (me): "Under where?"
4 yr old Daughter: "AHA, I made you say Underwear!"
LOL. She will go with that one all day, killing herself laughing and that to me is always funny.
Three blondes sitting in a bar order a round of shots. They all shout in unison "13 DAYS!!!" and down the shots. They order another round and again toast "13 DAYS!!!". They repeat this several more times so the bartender gets curious and asks what's so great about "13 days?".
One of the blondes says "We bought a jigsaw puzzle that said 3-4 years on the box and we did it in 13 DAYS!!!!".
One of the blondes says "We bought a jigsaw puzzle that said 3-4 years on the box and we did it in 13 DAYS!!!!".
Former Swedish Prime Minister Göran Persson was given a tour of a mental institution and got to talking with the director.
Persson: So tell me, how do you go about categorizing these unfortunate people when they come in?
Director: Well, we have a simple test that we administer. We fill a bathtub with water, then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we tell them to empty the tub.
Persson: Ah, I see. And of course the, shall we say, brighter individuals will use the bucket to do that.
Director: Yes, but the really smart ones will just pull the plug out.
Persson: So tell me, how do you go about categorizing these unfortunate people when they come in?
Director: Well, we have a simple test that we administer. We fill a bathtub with water, then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we tell them to empty the tub.
Persson: Ah, I see. And of course the, shall we say, brighter individuals will use the bucket to do that.
Director: Yes, but the really smart ones will just pull the plug out.
how do you know that there's a backup singer at your door?
They can never find the key and have no idea where to come in
They can never find the key and have no idea where to come in
- Jan 29, 2007
- 5,123
- 2
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Red Zone Effects
- Status
