Me too, six years ago; from CT to Tucson: best move I ever made—hope it’s worked out for you as well!
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Why did you quit a band?
- Thread starter Cut the middle
- Start date
Wow. I've done that to make a point but 5 songs? Wow.1)
6) Band leader's wife insisting by shouting and arm waving, that the bass was "way too loud," even when I played 5 songs in a row with my amp off. Quit on the spot.
There are probably more, but I quit.
I’m an Italian bike aficionado as well: a couple Moto Guzzis and a H-D Fat Boy right now. I bought the 1975 850T new back then and rode it 2-1/2 times around the U.S. before settling down to domestic bliss. I, too, avoid group rides like they’re COVID-19. I understand that most HOG chapter rides go well because of their organized nature but even though I ride an H-D I don’t “go to the church” as it were. Those so-called rebels have an awful lot of rigid rules that don’t suit me. I’m a solo act. I have considered selling the Hog and putting the money into a double bass.
Jim Carr
Dr. Jim
- Jan 21, 2006
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At first, I just turned down to inaudible, but to make the point, I switched off my amp. Still too loud? Yes!
Set was only half over. Seated next to the clarinetist and diligently reading from my parts, I continued playing, though silently.
Still too loud? Yes!
Set ended and I packed up and left, mentioning to the BL as I left that he did not need a bass player. Very infuriating experience, but I didn't tell them that the woman was an ass—wasn't the first time the same person had harassed me about volume, and I suspect others, too. I think perhaps she needed her meds, LOL.
When you have been gigging since 1963, you've seen a lot.
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Last time it was because I couldn't stand the 2 guitar divas anymore.
Not only did I move thousands of miles to the States, but our guitarist/vocalist stole most of the music we co-wrote, had them copyrighted for some reason, and started a solo career. He got kinda popular.
Did I mention he made our songs into EDM/Coldplay-esque?
Did I mention he made our songs into EDM/Coldplay-esque?
First band THE DRUMMER, he & the BL were tight and I couldn't
take the endless rehearsals involved because of the drummer.
Second band The Drummers, 7 drummers in 4 months. They ranged
from first call vets to rank amateurs. BL would just fill the drum chair
with whoever for the night.
take the endless rehearsals involved because of the drummer.
Second band The Drummers, 7 drummers in 4 months. They ranged
from first call vets to rank amateurs. BL would just fill the drum chair
with whoever for the night.
So Anyway, the gig trifecta of Money, Music & Hang also fits for joining/quitting a band.
I've been doing this for about 50 years and have left a lot of bands. I've never 'quit' while angry or over a single incident.
I've been doing this for about 50 years and have left a lot of bands. I've never 'quit' while angry or over a single incident.
- Sometimes a working band had run its course and there wasn't any more work.
- Or no one in the band had 'booking' in their skill set. No gigs equals no band.
- A few times I started subbing, became the regular and then it started conflicting with my main band.
- And I've left over family commitments, grad school, and other personal things.
- I did quit one band when the married 60+ year-old drummer started seeing an 18 year-old girl who was always at this roadhouse we played. He eventually lost his wife, house, business... and then she dumped him.
I was in a trio playing originals for about a year where the "leader" wrote the songs. The songs were terrible, but I was slowly working some songs I wrote over the years in and they were getting a much better reaction, but every time we gigged people would come up to me and ask me why I wasn't in a better band. The reality is that I was just enjoying the hang and I knew what was up...
The last gig I played with them was opening for a Grateful Dead tribute that I used to see all the time back in the early 90s at the Wetlands in NYC and their bass player called out an hour before the show. After a bit of conversation and a "prayer circle", it was decided that I could probably handle filling in. A few songs in and I thought they were having a good time trying to trip me up and calling increasingly difficult tunes, but I dove in and figured I'd go ahead and call something ridiculous myself to close the set and I guess they liked that. After that set I was asked if I wanted the gig and I've been there ever since.
The leader of the trio was angry when, after our set, I mentioned that they should stick around because I was sitting in with the band and had a little tantrum where he made some really stupid comments, so I was happy to take the gig and probably would have quit anyway after the tirade...
The last gig I played with them was opening for a Grateful Dead tribute that I used to see all the time back in the early 90s at the Wetlands in NYC and their bass player called out an hour before the show. After a bit of conversation and a "prayer circle", it was decided that I could probably handle filling in. A few songs in and I thought they were having a good time trying to trip me up and calling increasingly difficult tunes, but I dove in and figured I'd go ahead and call something ridiculous myself to close the set and I guess they liked that. After that set I was asked if I wanted the gig and I've been there ever since.
The leader of the trio was angry when, after our set, I mentioned that they should stick around because I was sitting in with the band and had a little tantrum where he made some really stupid comments, so I was happy to take the gig and probably would have quit anyway after the tirade...
I have quit many many bands over the years and it has always been for the same reason.
If I see that a band is not on the path of continuous improvement, both in terms of musicianship and marketing, I am out of there.
If I see that a band is not on the path of continuous improvement, both in terms of musicianship and marketing, I am out of there.
came up from the basement during practice break to find BL and drummer nodded out with needles in their arm . I'm out!
I quit a successful cover band in the 80's twice. The first time it was because I wanted to do more originals; we were sneaking one into every set but I wanted to be all-original. After six months or so of nothing going on, I went to hang with the guys and they said that the replacement bassist wasn't working out and would I like to come back? I rejoined but then quit for good when I moved from Florida to California.
My current originals band - I have quit and rejoined. I quit due to frustration over lack of progress in songwriting and recording and playing useless gigs. Also, I was only in the one band and each of the other members was in 2 or 3 other projects and so I thought I cared more about the band than they did. Years passed, we got back together a few years ago. Currently finishing up our second album and looking forward to playing some shows.
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My turn!
First band (ever) was because the BL's ambitions just plain outstripped her organisation abilities.
OK, so I was a lot prettier as a teenager, but I passed the audition mostly because the BL's younger sister had the hots for me. No, I wasn't stupid enough to go there, but it was still a red flag that the guitarist's looks were of more interest than his playing.
After three months (and as many drummers) we had our first band meeting. Also our first jam, at which we stumbled through "Wonderful tonight." As I left after that trainwreck, the BL said "see you later;" I replied "no, you won't" and kept walking. At least she wasn't surprised.
Some time later, I answered an ad in the classifieds (in print, even!). The bass-player was a mama's boy and the singer was washed up (and she knew it), but I wanted a band badly enough to turn up for a will-this-work session against my better judgement.
At said session, he presented a song he'd written. He took it pretty well when I pointed out he was using the riffs from "I love rock'n'roll" and "You really got me" verbatim, and "spinney winney" wasn't really going to cut it as a refrain in the chorus. Also, sticky-taping a microphone to a vacuum-cleaner hose was laudable improvisation in an emergency, but "I don't own a mic stand" was not my idea of an emergency.
Technically more a case of the band failing the audition than me quitting, but I've written it out now.
In this century, a couple of acquaintances in my social scene announced they were forming a gothic-doom-metal band and needed a bass player. We all got on pretty well and the music was promising, but...
The whole thing was founded by one of the queens of the scene, who hadn't yet learned how to actually play guitar. Nor would she pick an instrument up at rehearsals/songwriting sessions until her playing was perfect to her satisfaction. No amount of "just play what you can, and we'll help you learn" would persuade her. So the lead guitarist wrote and recorded her parts - but we were without a rhythm guitarist when trying to actually perform together. Not insurmountable, but certainly an iceberg between our harmonic Titanic and any gigs we might have lined up. Like the CD launch that a then-prominent rock-scene figure was allegedly willing to promote for us, if only we could put an actual album together.
The lead guitarist was fantastically talented, fun to be around, and mystified as to why he'd been fired from a series of up-and-coming bands in favour of less-skilled replacements. Presumably they didn't waste 60% of every rehearsal/songwriting session with faffing about, or the same amount of any recording session by developing some interesting parts that he eventually declared wouldn't actually be used because he was "just f**king around" (direct quote). Oh, and every other session was cancelled because his guitar was back in the pawn-shop until payday. Despite being the de facto BL, he couldn't run a bath.
The synth player was... actually a great, very smart guy, who had his life in order and a solid line in snark to go with it:
"That's not a chord - it's bowel surgery!"
"Oh, I know this chord: it has an E, and a D, and an eeot."
"Just got a new keyboard. It has more knobs than the front row of a Blink 182 concert!"
10/10, would work with again if we weren't on opposite sides of the world.
Side note: he went back to guitar after this, got sidetracked into jazz, then went back to the classic rock that had drawn him to the instrument in the first place, when he heard that line about the difference between jazz and rock guitarists being that the latter play four chords to twenty thousand people.
Come to think of it, they probably should have fired me. I insisted on trying to record our work with a DAW I didn't really know how to use (and that wasn't stable yet), had my bass de-fretted and started learning how to play fretless in the middle of all this, then bull-headedly switched to BEAD tuning without making sure I could still play my lines properly. So there's another point against.
Nothing actually came to a head... and that was the problem. The synth player and I realised about the same time that this was going nowhere, and we could put this time to better use. IIRC, that's when I signed up for a welding and forging course, and had much more fun with a more literal kind of overheated metal.
First band (ever) was because the BL's ambitions just plain outstripped her organisation abilities.
OK, so I was a lot prettier as a teenager, but I passed the audition mostly because the BL's younger sister had the hots for me. No, I wasn't stupid enough to go there, but it was still a red flag that the guitarist's looks were of more interest than his playing.
After three months (and as many drummers) we had our first band meeting. Also our first jam, at which we stumbled through "Wonderful tonight." As I left after that trainwreck, the BL said "see you later;" I replied "no, you won't" and kept walking. At least she wasn't surprised.
Some time later, I answered an ad in the classifieds (in print, even!). The bass-player was a mama's boy and the singer was washed up (and she knew it), but I wanted a band badly enough to turn up for a will-this-work session against my better judgement.
At said session, he presented a song he'd written. He took it pretty well when I pointed out he was using the riffs from "I love rock'n'roll" and "You really got me" verbatim, and "spinney winney" wasn't really going to cut it as a refrain in the chorus. Also, sticky-taping a microphone to a vacuum-cleaner hose was laudable improvisation in an emergency, but "I don't own a mic stand" was not my idea of an emergency.
Technically more a case of the band failing the audition than me quitting, but I've written it out now.
In this century, a couple of acquaintances in my social scene announced they were forming a gothic-doom-metal band and needed a bass player. We all got on pretty well and the music was promising, but...
The whole thing was founded by one of the queens of the scene, who hadn't yet learned how to actually play guitar. Nor would she pick an instrument up at rehearsals/songwriting sessions until her playing was perfect to her satisfaction. No amount of "just play what you can, and we'll help you learn" would persuade her. So the lead guitarist wrote and recorded her parts - but we were without a rhythm guitarist when trying to actually perform together. Not insurmountable, but certainly an iceberg between our harmonic Titanic and any gigs we might have lined up. Like the CD launch that a then-prominent rock-scene figure was allegedly willing to promote for us, if only we could put an actual album together.
The lead guitarist was fantastically talented, fun to be around, and mystified as to why he'd been fired from a series of up-and-coming bands in favour of less-skilled replacements. Presumably they didn't waste 60% of every rehearsal/songwriting session with faffing about, or the same amount of any recording session by developing some interesting parts that he eventually declared wouldn't actually be used because he was "just f**king around" (direct quote). Oh, and every other session was cancelled because his guitar was back in the pawn-shop until payday. Despite being the de facto BL, he couldn't run a bath.
The synth player was... actually a great, very smart guy, who had his life in order and a solid line in snark to go with it:
"That's not a chord - it's bowel surgery!"
"Oh, I know this chord: it has an E, and a D, and an eeot."
"Just got a new keyboard. It has more knobs than the front row of a Blink 182 concert!"
10/10, would work with again if we weren't on opposite sides of the world.
Side note: he went back to guitar after this, got sidetracked into jazz, then went back to the classic rock that had drawn him to the instrument in the first place, when he heard that line about the difference between jazz and rock guitarists being that the latter play four chords to twenty thousand people.
Come to think of it, they probably should have fired me. I insisted on trying to record our work with a DAW I didn't really know how to use (and that wasn't stable yet), had my bass de-fretted and started learning how to play fretless in the middle of all this, then bull-headedly switched to BEAD tuning without making sure I could still play my lines properly. So there's another point against.
Nothing actually came to a head... and that was the problem. The synth player and I realised about the same time that this was going nowhere, and we could put this time to better use. IIRC, that's when I signed up for a welding and forging course, and had much more fun with a more literal kind of overheated metal.
Wow, who could have seen that coming???
The last time I quit a band it was because the guitarist was a young guy who had a big assortment of boutique guitars, claimed he had endorsements, could play "Eruption" note-for-note, etc., but apparently had no experience playing in a band.
I got the song list from him and either memorized everything or wrote out charts for myself (it was a cover band, BTW), but when we got together to rehearse, the guy didn't know the stuff and/or expected me to teach it to him.
Then there was the thing I've complained about in other threads: he didn't know what keys we were using. I'd ask him, and he'd say, "I'm tuning down." OK... down to what? It's hard to prepare for a rehearsal if you don't know the keys.
And (get this!) he had one expensive guitar which he said was set up for a particular type of string-- one which wasn't readily available. So, if he broke a string, he wouldn't simply pick up another guitar so we could just get through the tunes in rehearsal. No, we were supposed to wait for him to special order a set of these strings.
His car was always breaking down, so he needed a lift everywhere.
Finally, after three of these extremely inefficient and inadequate rehearsals, he proclaimed, "Well, I think after one more rehearsal, we'll be ready for a gig!" Nowhere CLOSE, pal.
So, I cut my losses and quit.
I got the song list from him and either memorized everything or wrote out charts for myself (it was a cover band, BTW), but when we got together to rehearse, the guy didn't know the stuff and/or expected me to teach it to him.
Then there was the thing I've complained about in other threads: he didn't know what keys we were using. I'd ask him, and he'd say, "I'm tuning down." OK... down to what? It's hard to prepare for a rehearsal if you don't know the keys.
And (get this!) he had one expensive guitar which he said was set up for a particular type of string-- one which wasn't readily available. So, if he broke a string, he wouldn't simply pick up another guitar so we could just get through the tunes in rehearsal. No, we were supposed to wait for him to special order a set of these strings.
His car was always breaking down, so he needed a lift everywhere.
Finally, after three of these extremely inefficient and inadequate rehearsals, he proclaimed, "Well, I think after one more rehearsal, we'll be ready for a gig!" Nowhere CLOSE, pal.
So, I cut my losses and quit.
Yeah, a couple of us tried an 'intervention' at a band rehearsal but to no avail...even gave an ultimatum that we'd be leaving the band if he didn't stop. He claimed their love was 'true'.Wow, who could have seen that coming???
Two of us left to join another band that didn't have quite so much horn-doggery.
Okay, But You asked! I'll try to keep this short. Bottom line, Delusional Drummer !I was in a cover band, everyone was really cool & just on or above the same level of musicianship, except the drummer! He seemed to be the de facto band leader, he contacted me through a friend. It just happened to be good timing (the only time i experience that from him
) the drummer showed some bad habits & signs that I really dislike, he had an opinnion on EVERYthing, he threw in his 2¢ on EVERYTHING! if asked for or not! (what I call LARS ULRICH syndrome). he also had NO music knowledge, but wanted to arrange songs!"we should do it this way"
. He's got that I'm not just a drummer, I know things & want my Input recognized, disorder! it was like he knew he was a poor drummer & had to over compensate for it. I should have run for the Hills! after a couple months & several gigs, I quit or caused a mutiny, because this terrible drummer. he pretty much had every bad trait you hate, to some degree. But was too ashamed or proud to admit it!I must admit I feel this is part of my Karma coming back at me through this terrible drummer! I used to be a very lazy bass player (I hardly ever practiced or did my homework), but now I am a Model student! I study hard. I practice 4 hours or more a night! Now I see how unfair it is to the other band members when you don't keep up your part of the band! I confronted him once and was waved off! "i dont think so?"
I'm resigned to think its futile to put a band together( drama, personalities,& politics)!
Two of my best friends(a drummer & a singer/guitarist) get along great , but our work & family schedules clash, and that's a real shame, we're like minded & have similar tastes. Holding out hope one day it may happen!
