Why I NEVER Vent On Here About Band Problems

[JimmyM]

Love this post.

I've only made one thread on TB in my 15 years here about a problem with a bandmate (drummer, coincidentally), and I ended up quitting the band over it (it was the most successful band I've ever been in, and the first one I ever got royalty checks from, so I walked away from a lot). I didn't care who saw the post, because the issues I had with the drummer were well-known within the band, and had been discussed at length with the drummer over a long period of time.

The point of this reply is simply that although I agree it can come off as unprofessional at best and detrimental to future work at worst, sometimes folks posting these things have given plenty of thought to the consequences before finally turning to TB for support. Not all of them (us?) go about it the ideal way, but sometimes a situation degrades to the point of not really caring what the consequences might be.

Jacob

Right...you accepted the repercussions and were fine with them. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes those bridges could use a good torching. And really, what other people choose to post about is beyond my control, and not my concern anyway, nor do I care beyond getting some entertainment out of it. It was mainly about why I choose not to most of the time, and a little reminder that our words are public

 

[JimmyM]

Assuming a member of the band might be messed up, the dialogue might be something like this...

First Incident- "Hey, you were a bit off your game tonight, you OK?"

Second Incident - "Everything all right at home?"

Third Incident - "We love your playing, but something seems off. Is there anything we can do to help you?"

Good post. I wouldn't say any of it if I were the new guy unless they brought it up to me, though.

 

[MYLOWFREQ]

My guitar player at the time completely blacked out from booze n' weed at a gig. He got carried off stage only to recover and catch up w/ us the last set. No shame, and no one called 911. It was real rock n' roll those days

 

[Steven Ayres]

One of Jimmy's core points deserves underlining: never post anything anywhere that you aren't prepared to have the whole world see, particularly the people you're kvetching about. It's likely that, sooner or later, they will. This is one reason that since the early days of the net I've been an advocate for using real names online — it makes me, and in my experience most people, more disciplined and responsible about what we say.

 

[jnuts1]

this is the best post ever on TB.
I've tried to express this exact sentiment a few times but not nearly as eloquently as you just did.

 

[BurtMacklinFBI]

Good advice, sadly I think those people inclined to listen probably didn’t need to hear it in the first place.

On the upside, it wasn’t that long ago you saw a fair number of posts encouraging other TBers to punch a bandmate in the face over this stuff. Granted, I suppose anyone who takes that advice deserves what they get.

 

[jnuts1]

the advice that really burns me up is the medical/injury stuff. You can really do long term damage if you listen to people here.

 

[IamGroot]

Several pros told me not to waste my time on social media and I have pretty much sworn off the technique and instruction forums for the reasons Jimmy mentioned.

What I do on the bass no longer fits in with the mainstream. I pretty much just come to TB for the cat pictures now.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

Great post. A lot of people believe they are obliged to have opinions about everything. It's usually pretty easy to tell when somebody is giving advice not because they know anything, but because they feel obliged to contribute. Whatever.

PS: I don't post under my real name, but anyone who reads my gig reports can find it out easily enough.

 

[petrus61]

Assuming a member of the band might be messed up, the dialogue might be something like this...

First Incident- "Hey, you were a bit off your game tonight, you OK?"

Second Incident - "Everything all right at home?"

Third Incident - "We love your playing, but something seems off. Is there anything we can do to help you?"

Even most corporate entities have a policy in place as a stopgap against unintentionally violating basic civil rights. Larger companies can have a harder time firing someone who was reported on good info to be falling down drunk on a job without first providing services or at least a chance for said employee to get their poopie together.

That said, some companies also protect against that nonsense in the fine print once the employee signs off.

 

[Shalto]

Good advice, sadly I think those people inclined to listen probably didn’t need to hear it in the first place.

On the upside, it wasn’t that long ago you saw a fair number of posts encouraging other TBers to punch a bandmate in the face over this stuff. Granted, I suppose anyone who takes that advice deserves what they get.

The internet hard man is alive and well. Apparently living in a jurisdiction where assault is legal.

 

[Vinny_G]

Great post, @JimmyM.
It's been a while since I think about it, and some of these reactions are a good example of what I perceive in general when I look at us: the main illness of bass players is insecurity.

 

[lokikallas]

Rule one- if you don’t have anything nice to say...
Rule two- the internet lives forever, a google search of my name will turn up posts.
Rule three- don’t say anything about someone on the internet you wouldn’t say to their face

 

[JimmyM]

Great post, @JimmyM.
It's been a while since I think about it, and some of these reactions are a good example of what I perceive in general when I look at us: the main illness of bass players is insecurity.

It darn sure is my main illness! Always has been. I think we can say that about most musicians and entertainers, though. Very few of us are fully realized and secure.

 

[HamOnTheCob]

Right...you accepted the repercussions and were fine with them. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes those bridges could use a good torching. And really, what other people choose to post about is beyond my control, and not my concern anyway, nor do I care beyond getting some entertainment out of it. It was mainly about why I choose not to most of the time, and a little reminder that our words are public

You're easily in my top 2 or 3 favorite people on TB. Might even be #1. Always good insight in your posts. It's people like you who keep me coming back when so many others make me want to log off for good. haha

 

[stefancaunter]

This forum is like any forum. Ignore trolls, treat the anonymous cowards found everywhere on it with the respect they haven’t earned, learn what you can from the small kindnesses you may find, and understand that most people turn into name calling schoolchildren on the internet, so expect it, before you get outraged. It’s easy to close the tab if you’re not having fun.

 

[Ric5]

 

[JimmyM]

You're easily in my top 2 or 3 favorite people on TB. Might even be #1. Always good insight in your posts. It's people like you who keep me coming back when so many others make me want to log off for good. haha

Oh, I'm sure I'll do something to make you change your mind in the NF But thank you very much, bro!

 

[gregbackstrom]

Almost posted!

 

[Bander]

I appreciate sage wisdom. I see two band recipes: 1) to gather, settle and work to make it work with what you got, or 2) experiment and hop around till a unit forms that works. Both approaches have produced super bands, but the latter is the path of least resistance, and more often the successful approach. Conflict [and venting] occurs when the two try and co-exist in the same band.