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wives vs basses (shhhhh! don't let them see this thread!)
- Thread starter Bass V
- Start date
Married woth same woman for 20 years, in my experience, as long as you supply for all your family needs your woman will be ok with your hobbies. But if you spend money in a bass when in the fridge there is only a jug of water and the kids depend on charity for their clothes then you can expect all kind of poopie coming from your wife’s mouth, and guess what, I agree with her.
or you know, marry the right woman.
I have been happily married for 14 years, was not involved that much with music through most of earlier time together. I recently dove back in and made the switch to bass. She is also a musician, an orchestral musician at that. She supports my bass life 100% most of my gear she has purchased for me. She insisted I get on the wait list for a Wynn. on the flip side, I support her musical interests as well, and I insisted she buy an NS design 5 string electric cello and join our band. Which she did. Moral of the story is, marry the right woman, support her interests with vigor, and she will return the favor.
I have been happily married for 14 years, was not involved that much with music through most of earlier time together. I recently dove back in and made the switch to bass. She is also a musician, an orchestral musician at that. She supports my bass life 100% most of my gear she has purchased for me. She insisted I get on the wait list for a Wynn. on the flip side, I support her musical interests as well, and I insisted she buy an NS design 5 string electric cello and join our band. Which she did. Moral of the story is, marry the right woman, support her interests with vigor, and she will return the favor.
IMO, the budget should include money that allows the husband and wife to have separate personal money accounts. When either or both have hobbies that need to be supported with money and there is mutual respect, each having personal money to do with what each wants, to me is very important. It should be a fixed amount that each can stash away in a separate account to be used for purchases that support a hobby and should not require permission to be used or even consultation. No IOU’s, no manipulation...it is done straight up. Totally personal funds account. Part of healthy relationships. Hobbies are expensive. If you moonlight and make extra money playing in a band or solo (after you pay expenses to do so out of your personal fund account), then that should go into your individual personal funds account. Problems start when one person exerts controlling behavior over another.
43 years of bliss with my wife.
She is very frugal and financially on top of things, but she has never questioned any of my gear purchases (except my 2nd upright). Right now, she is the one with the expensive hobby and I love supporting her.
She is very frugal and financially on top of things, but she has never questioned any of my gear purchases (except my 2nd upright). Right now, she is the one with the expensive hobby and I love supporting her.
- Oct 18, 2012
- 6,683
- 5,538
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
My wife and I will be married for 30 years next month. She fully supports my music. She has even purchased gear for me as gifts. About 10 years ago, she bought a Sennheiser wireless for my birthday. In 2011, she bought me a new MIA Jazz Deluxe for Valentine's Day. Last year, she bought me a Tech 21 VT Bass Deluxe DI for Christmas. This year she bought be a pair of Beyer Dynamic DT770 PRO headphones. It helps that I do music for television (American Pickers, The Deed and some others) so she knows that all of my gear is being used and generating income.
I've been married for 18 years and my wife completely supports me in my bass endeavors. She just bought me a cab and head for my birthday, which is very cool. I'm a lucky guy. I also don't spend $$$$$ either.
Yes, yes, yes to this. If you keep secrets from your partner you’re looking for trouble. Talking can sort out pretty much everything you are going to encounter in the workings of a relationship. Luckily my wife and I are both musicians and mostly work together. Money earned together is discussed and we decide together how it gets used. Whether it be musical stuff or a lawnmower, fixing the fence or a weekend away somewhere, it’s a joint decision. Money we earn seperately is our own and we use it as we please.Wow, I can't help but laugh a little at this post (very good-naturedly, I promise!) ...
Basically, we just talk about things, like if I want or need some new equipment that's above "personal money" levels, we just have a discussion and see if it fits in the budget. If not, sometimes I'll sell something to raise money for the purchase, sometimes I'll put it on a card after discussing a repayment plan with her, and sometimes I'll wait and save up a bit. We do the same with the things that interest her.
The relationship trouble friends of mine, both male and female, have gotten into with purchases musical and otherwise are when things are done "sneakily," or hidden from a partner. That's basically lying to someone you supposedly love and respect above all others. If I were in a relationship with someone where I truly had to lie and hide things from them in order to pursue something that feeds my soul the way music does, well, I'd not be in that relationship for much longer once I discovered that fact. Communication is key in relationships, it really is, and if I can't communicate with a partner about what I need and the things that make me happy and fulfilled, I'll be looking elsewhere really quickly.
This woman is someone I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with. Why would I treat her like an adversary? She is puzzled sometimes that I have more than a couple of basses but I just point out that she has a Gretsch, 2 Martins and a Takamine. She would never seriously try to prevent me from buying gear unless the expenditure put us in jeopardy and if that was the case I would never consider a rash purchase. Talk - it will get you through major conflict.
My wife and I both love American Pickers. It’s very popular here in Australia and the interaction the guys have with collectors all over the place is pretty nice to see. Not to mention the amazing stuff you see.
45 years of marriage here. My wife has been around the band life since Junior high and fully supports every thing I do (and don't do). She has been the baby sitter, person at the door, roadie, critic, costume designer and designated driver too.
Over the last 7 years for three of my birthdays my wife has asked if I wanted a new bass. Well what's a man to say !?@?
First time she came to a couple of stores with me and I got Musicman Sterling H5.
Then 2 years ago we were in Canada at the time of my birthday so she came to one store and I ended up with FSR Precision Special MIM. Which is a great bass.
This year she says do you want a bass for your birthday and if course I said yes but this time she said well get it yourself! No worries so I bought a used Fender Jazz active MIA last month.
So God bless my wife. She has no great interest in music but she happily funds my bass hobby. If was left to me I probably wouldn't have made those purchases as with 8 kids, 1 grandson, 4 dogs and a couple of cats there's plenty of demands on our money.
First time she came to a couple of stores with me and I got Musicman Sterling H5.
Then 2 years ago we were in Canada at the time of my birthday so she came to one store and I ended up with FSR Precision Special MIM. Which is a great bass.
This year she says do you want a bass for your birthday and if course I said yes but this time she said well get it yourself! No worries so I bought a used Fender Jazz active MIA last month.
So God bless my wife. She has no great interest in music but she happily funds my bass hobby. If was left to me I probably wouldn't have made those purchases as with 8 kids, 1 grandson, 4 dogs and a couple of cats there's plenty of demands on our money.
In 2010, I had a renewed interest in music. My wife was with me when I visited a local music store to test a Warwick Thumb BO 6. I loved it & asked the clerk about the best price they could offer. I was only prepared to absorb the information and begin saving for it. My wife immediately took out her credit card. Technically she bought my first bass after a long hiatus. Of course, I paid her back.
I usually inform her when I buy something new. However, she also has expensive purse habits and likes jewelry. Haha
Anyway, I am currently serving day #95 of my wife's two (2) sisters 6-month visit to our home. I already informed my wife that I am entitled to buy 1 new bass per month of stay. LOL Potentially one of the sisters' sons may stay with us over Christmas holidays, so I will be adding 1 more to my entitled allotment.
I usually inform her when I buy something new. However, she also has expensive purse habits and likes jewelry. Haha
Anyway, I am currently serving day #95 of my wife's two (2) sisters 6-month visit to our home. I already informed my wife that I am entitled to buy 1 new bass per month of stay. LOL Potentially one of the sisters' sons may stay with us over Christmas holidays, so I will be adding 1 more to my entitled allotment.
I have been playing music since I was eight. I have been in a band since I was 22. In my history of women, when they meet me, it is understood that I was/am a musician. I mean, my tools are on a stand in the corner of the living room, hanging on the wall in the basement, amps in the garage, album collections, CD collections, spotify member.....but I also have a wide range of music knowledge, musicians, singers, trivia so to speak and I talk about music to anyone who wants to have that conversation. I mean, I have been all about music pretty much all my life. If a woman wants to jump into my life she has to know what she is dealing with. I am not extravagant, but have several tools, all of which I use or it is sold. I have been told to stop playing, and/or have been jealous of my time that I dedicate to learning songs, practicing with the band, and playing out. But I have never changed. I am currently single and playing in 3 bands (a first for me, usually one band). Maybe that is what was supposed to happen. I have other hobbies too (gardening, biking, dining) but music has been my life. Lucky are you talk-bassists that have found the perfect wife.
Everyone's life is different and of their own making.
My dad and uncle were both musicians so I was raised with it and totally used to it.
My wife did not have that in her life and didn't get it right away.
Our compromise? She only asks that I don't play every weekend and that I do my best to honor family commitments like weddings, etc. And part 2 of the compromise is I'm free to buy whatever I want for band "toys" with the money I make from gigs.
Might not work for everyone but we've been married for 28+ years and it works for us.
My dad and uncle were both musicians so I was raised with it and totally used to it.
My wife did not have that in her life and didn't get it right away.
Our compromise? She only asks that I don't play every weekend and that I do my best to honor family commitments like weddings, etc. And part 2 of the compromise is I'm free to buy whatever I want for band "toys" with the money I make from gigs.
Might not work for everyone but we've been married for 28+ years and it works for us.
I've been married 16 years this November and my wife supports me in what I do - full time job, part time bass hobby... she doesn't understand different basses or amps though.....
a few years ago we were in a music shop and she bought me a good leather strap for my bass for my birthday
while we were there I was looking at bass amps and she pointed to a small Ampeg 25w practice amp and asked why don't I have something like that instead of lugging around my amp and 4x10 every weekend... I tried to explain that my amp and cabinet are needed to play live, but she just thought a bass amp is a bass amp.
When I bought my bass a few years ago she came along and I was trying 2 different basses and she couldn't tell the difference in sound / tone between them.... but said one looked 'nicer' than the other and that's the one I should buy. (and I did buy it)
but when I go to a shoe shop with her she tells me the HAS to have the more expensive pair because they are better for her feet or something....
a few years ago we were in a music shop and she bought me a good leather strap for my bass for my birthday
while we were there I was looking at bass amps and she pointed to a small Ampeg 25w practice amp and asked why don't I have something like that instead of lugging around my amp and 4x10 every weekend... I tried to explain that my amp and cabinet are needed to play live, but she just thought a bass amp is a bass amp.
When I bought my bass a few years ago she came along and I was trying 2 different basses and she couldn't tell the difference in sound / tone between them.... but said one looked 'nicer' than the other and that's the one I should buy. (and I did buy it)
but when I go to a shoe shop with her she tells me the HAS to have the more expensive pair because they are better for her feet or something....
Ha! There is no such thing as a perfect wife or husband. He drove me completely mental after he had surgery. At the time I had no intention of being a musician but in order to cope I picked up a ukulele I had lying around and started playing it. It used to bother me that he wanted all these different instruments. Now I understand. I want instruments too. We are now in a band together a bit North of you.
I'm very fortunate. My wife is a keyboard player and vocalist. Keyboards are costly and basses can be as well. We never give one another a hard time for equipment purchases. Mostly we encourage the other to go for it. I'm a lucky man.
I guess I have the other problem. My wife Wants to buy me basses! I have to tell her No, I don't want it, if she sees a bass that looks 'pretty'. haha God was good to me!
I mentioned mothers earlier, guys who let their wife treat them like a child.
Well, some need it to be honest, LOL!
Anyway, dear old mum sends me links to the worst instruments, because they look good. Last one was a acoustic guitar that was missing a string & the post that holds the string in the bridge.
BASS Guitar has been reminded many many times, but to no avail.
Well, some need it to be honest, LOL!
Anyway, dear old mum sends me links to the worst instruments, because they look good. Last one was a acoustic guitar that was missing a string & the post that holds the string in the bridge.
BASS Guitar has been reminded many many times, but to no avail.
