wives vs basses (shhhhh! don't let them see this thread!)

[alaskaleftybass]

yup, I'm all for getting some laffs along the way to the old folks home lol

So are you saying that you're old?

 

[Bass V]

So are you saying that you're old?

having been retired (early) for a few years now I'd have to admit I'm looking down that worn road a bit, but the way this thread is going I'm starting to feel almost morbid. thank god my stringed family keeps me happily entertained so I plan on a few more decades lol sadly, it's safer and more fun than going in the water or hiking mountains etc. these days.

 

[smtp4me]

I've given this bit of advice on "Should I buy it?" threads, but it goes down like a lead balloon.
Do you have at least 6 months worth of emergency funds in the bank?
If so, buy. If not, keep saving!

^^^ This.
My wife has said several times that she does not care that I buy gear, within reason, she just doesn't want our finished basement (where I keep and play the gear) to be taken over by it. And to avoid financial issues, I keep a personal slush fund that I occasionally add funds to, and my purchases come out of it - e.g. the money is already there and set aside when I'm ready to buy.

 

[chris_b]

I talk to my wife about everything and she does a very good job of looking interested when the conversation turns to bass gear!

I'll tell her about pieces I'm interested in and no matter if it's cheap or expensive, her advice is always, "If it's worth it to you, get it".

 

[basscapes]

Mrs. basscapes has been totally supportive of my "bass-life". After, it was because of the bass guitar that we actually met; my brother in law was the first drummer I ever worked with.

Whenever a "bass decision" needs to be made, there are no secrets- we talk openly about whatever it is (cabs, instruments, effects), and overall, the voice of reason always prevails

Yeah, I know. Sounds corny. But my wife and I have been best friends from the get-go, so we share pretty much everything in our relationship.

Yes, I love my wife just as much as I love my basses!

 

[dbsfgyd1]

yep, I'm going there lol cos we may have a crisis hiding in plain sight.
the wife, the wife, the wife, we've heard it forever and always will I guess, maybe we need to finally suss this out for the benefit of all mankind. some of us have gone thru hell and back with all the war stories yet managed to maintain the marriage (happy or not), the collection, and most of our minds, while too many others met various tragic ends just cos of their love or obsessions for music and in our case, the bass.
we have quite a few women here and need to stay respectful and thankful for that in spite of the depths of despair they can push their male counterparts, so the OP bias is imo legit. where conversely, we generally see boyfriends and husbands being unanimously supportive of everything a female player wishes. many girls wouldn't have it any other way lol and I heartily applaud their fortitude. and to keep it all-inclusive, 'significant other' aspects are viable as well. that said, this poll is for the majority on tb and unfortunately that's men, them's that face the wrath and scorn with every slight mention of the word BASS, the poor saps, the brave hearts, those who have stories to tell and have so far survived to tell them.
I'm in the #1 category as a confirmed lifetime bachelor with an uncontrollable roving eye thanx to growing up with those 'California girls' and wanting unbridled freedom, but can certainly appreciate those who went the other extreme and sought out a lifetime with their grade school sweetheart or even the new pole dancer at the nudie bar.
gentlemen, what have you been thru? did it leave a mark? would you do it all over again? any changes / suggestions? do you have any unique secrets to reveal which truly can make it work with the wife? are you one of those with an endless honey-do list to keep things humming, an air conditioner on arctic blast in the bedroom, glad to buy her a new car every year, or is there Marshall Bass Law in your man-sion? and just where are all those girls who go nuts over whatever you do bass wise? those are as scarce as Mothman sightings!
to the gals out there (possibly fuming over this), please let us know your pov and clue us bassanderthals in on what works for you, or how far to Hell we should go, or, if you play bass / music... what goes on in your life to keep it real with that guy? this is all for fun but we might actually gain some important insight into other mindsets towards saving marriages / relationships, careers, keeping peace in the valley, and likely preserving quite a few basses!

I’m sure this also effects golfers, bowlers and hunter’s as well. The good news about my musical pursuits is over the years is it paid for it’s self many times over. My playing allowed for a lot of things to happen in our 42 years together, cars, vacations, remodels, moves, and every stitch of equipment I own.

The other point is, my wife digs the idea that she’s got a guy that can do something very few people can do. The ones that are into the athletic types, when those joints wear out and that fastball dies in their 30’s a lot of romance goes with it and here I am, still rocking it at age 65.

 

[Gary Poe]

yep, I'm going there lol cos we may have a crisis hiding in plain sight.
the wife, the wife, the wife, we've heard it forever and always will I guess, maybe we need to finally suss this out for the benefit of all mankind. some of us have gone thru hell and back with all the war stories yet managed to maintain the marriage (happy or not), the collection, and most of our minds, while too many others met various tragic ends just cos of their love or obsessions for music and in our case, the bass.
we have quite a few women here and need to stay respectful and thankful for that in spite of the depths of despair they can push their male counterparts, so the OP bias is imo legit. where conversely, we generally see boyfriends and husbands being unanimously supportive of everything a female player wishes. many girls wouldn't have it any other way lol and I heartily applaud their fortitude. and to keep it all-inclusive, 'significant other' aspects are viable as well. that said, this poll is for the majority on tb and unfortunately that's men, them's that face the wrath and scorn with every slight mention of the word BASS, the poor saps, the brave hearts, those who have stories to tell and have so far survived to tell them.
I'm in the #1 category as a confirmed lifetime bachelor with an uncontrollable roving eye thanx to growing up with those 'California girls' and wanting unbridled freedom, but can certainly appreciate those who went the other extreme and sought out a lifetime with their grade school sweetheart or even the new pole dancer at the nudie bar.
gentlemen, what have you been thru? did it leave a mark? would you do it all over again? any changes / suggestions? do you have any unique secrets to reveal which truly can make it work with the wife? are you one of those with an endless honey-do list to keep things humming, an air conditioner on arctic blast in the bedroom, glad to buy her a new car every year, or is there Marshall Bass Law in your man-sion? and just where are all those girls who go nuts over whatever you do bass wise? those are as scarce as Mothman sightings!
to the gals out there (possibly fuming over this), please let us know your pov and clue us bassanderthals in on what works for you, or how far to Hell we should go, or, if you play bass / music... what goes on in your life to keep it real with that guy? this is all for fun but we might actually gain some important insight into other mindsets towards saving marriages / relationships, careers, keeping peace in the valley, and likely preserving quite a few basses!

 

[MoeTown1986]

If playing music is what makes you happy and you have to hide your passion from your wife/girl friend, you married the wrong woman.

 

[MD Stingray]

I talk to my wife about everything and she does a very good job of looking interested when the conversation turns to bass gear!

I'll tell her about pieces I'm interested in and no matter if it's cheap or expensive, her advice is always, "If it's worth it to you, get it".

it needs a little rephrasing for me:

I talk to my wife about everything and she doesn't do a very good job of looking interested when the conversation turns to bass gear!

I'll tell her about pieces I'm interested in and no matter if it's cheap or expensive, her advice is never, "If it's worth it to you, get it"

But I love her

 

[Gary Poe]

yep, I'm going there lol cos we may have a crisis hiding in plain sight.
the wife, the wife, the wife, we've heard it forever and always will I guess, maybe we need to finally suss this out for the benefit of all mankind. some of us have gone thru hell and back with all the war stories yet managed to maintain the marriage (happy or not), the collection, and most of our minds, while too many others met various tragic ends just cos of their love or obsessions for music and in our case, the bass.
we have quite a few women here and need to stay respectful and thankful for that in spite of the depths of despair they can push their male counterparts, so the OP bias is imo legit. where conversely, we generally see boyfriends and husbands being unanimously supportive of everything a female player wishes. many girls wouldn't have it any other way lol and I heartily applaud their fortitude. and to keep it all-inclusive, 'significant other' aspects are viable as well. that said, this poll is for the majority on tb and unfortunately that's men, them's that face the wrath and scorn with every slight mention of the word BASS, the poor saps, the brave hearts, those who have stories to tell and have so far survived to tell them.
I'm in the #1 category as a confirmed lifetime bachelor with an uncontrollable roving eye thanx to growing up with those 'California girls' and wanting unbridled freedom, but can certainly appreciate those who went the other extreme and sought out a lifetime with their grade school sweetheart or even the new pole dancer at the nudie bar.
gentlemen, what have you been thru? did it leave a mark? would you do it all over again? any changes / suggestions? do you have any unique secrets to reveal which truly can make it work with the wife? are you one of those with an endless honey-do list to keep things humming, an air conditioner on arctic blast in the bedroom, glad to buy her a new car every year, or is there Marshall Bass Law in your man-sion? and just where are all those girls who go nuts over whatever you do bass wise? those are as scarce as Mothman sightings!
to the gals out there (possibly fuming over this), please let us know your pov and clue us bassanderthals in on what works for you, or how far to Hell we should go, or, if you play bass / music... what goes on in your life to keep it real with that guy? this is all for fun but we might actually gain some important insight into other mindsets towards saving marriages / relationships, careers, keeping peace in the valley, and likely preserving quite a few basses!

Well since you asked I guess im very fortunate /my wife supports my playin / weve been married 37 yrs and met when I was in a band with her boy friend at the time and they had a fight and she went home with me afterwards! Over the years shes bought me several basses she knew I wanted and I now own 10 / 4 of which she bought and gave me/ early in our marriage I traded an Ovation 12 string guitar ( that I had dropped and broke the neck and she had sent off to repair and paid for herself ) for a Peavy bass !! I don't think she forgave me for that till this day! But she never made a big blow up fuss about it! God bless my sweet sweet wife and I love her with all my heart !!!

 

[Turbo Sparky]

My best girl rocks!
Helps eyeball things, assists sometimes with load-in/out, gives her opinion, whether I like it or not, and amongst other things...allows me to "turn it up" at times when shedding.
Never have I gone into debt with gear, she is always in on descisions when it comes to gear when needed, and knows that I can cook/be a "man/adult" when it comes to life issues...most of the time LOL!
I know not everyone has a significant other, or one that fully supports serious hobbies/regional touring, and I feel for those players. However, sometimes it's the PLAYER's fault...compromise goes a looooong way. ...and putting it down, even when you don't want to, to just sit and be with them is magical. ...but I still figit when "watching" the stereotypical "chick flick." LOL
Sharing is caring.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Married 25 years. We both respect the opinions of each other, even when we don't agree. We also want each other to be happy.

Any time you are in a relationship with some, there are two sets of everything. You can't be as selfish.

I have the best. Why would I want something lesser? She was also crazy enough to want me.

 

[Kevorargh]

My wife and I have a great relationship when it comes to our hobbies - but the key to a good relationship - separate bank accounts. We make sure we have the bills paid, and the we can spend our own money on whatever we want. I buy gear and do gigs, she buys outdoor gear and goes on long hiking trips. Neither of us judges or nags the other.

 

[rogerbmiller]

This thread made me think of this:

 

[kev451]

lol he looks like he's staring at a bassless future

That’s the look I get each time I’m looking through the classifieds on TB and she catches me LOL

 

[gln1955]

My wife has more invested in her hobby than I do in bass gear, by quite a bit. We have both always been financially conservative, so spending money we don't have has never really been an issue.

 

[rogerbmiller]

My wife once asked me "Why are you always on the internet for hours at a time."

"Because that's where all the basses are," I explained.

 

[ogreboy88]

My wife has more invested in her hobby than I do in bass gear, by quite a bit.

THIS is the trick.

None of this "honesty" nonsense.

When my wife asks me if I'm okay with her mom visiting for the weekend, I tell her that would be delightful.

When I ask her why she's looking at me like a turd she just stepped in, I would very much like her to say, "Nothing... Just thinking about politics."

Honestly, the truth is for single people and future devorcees.

xD

 

[Wesley R]

Lying, sneaking around, hiding things is rarely a recipe for a decent relationship. I speak from a solid place of massive experience.

 

[rogerbmiller]

THIS is the trick.

None of this "honesty" nonsense.

When my wife asks me if I'm okay with her mom visiting for the weekend, I tell her that would be delightful.

When I ask her why she's looking at me like a turd she just stepped in, I would very much like her to say, "Nothing... Just thinking about politics."

Honestly, the truth is for single people and future devorcees.

xD

This is so dark yet so true.