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Would you date someone with HIV?

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#61
bassinplace said:
Um, unprotected sex is one of the easiest ways to contract it. Just sayin', that's a pretty ironic statement to make, and one that could seriously backfire on you.
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No, really? I didn't know you could get HIV/Aids from unprotected sex. Holy crap, I've been in danger all these years. :rolleyes:

I'm talking about bigger picture. You can never have unprotected sex with that person, EVER. I'm not talking just casual sex with said person, I'm talking long term dating/engaged/marriage type thing.

Obviously if you were just dating said person, hell, ANY person, you are keeping it protected until you know other party is 100% good to go and they aren't going to do you dirty.
 
#62
Hell to the N - O. Gonna mess with certain death, better double bag it. Anyhow watching a loved one suffer through disease is not all that entertaining. Emotionally and financially draining.
 
#63
Total deal breaker. Why cause she's still a chick which means shell still have chick logic and chick tendencies which means after a few months shell become totally batsit crazy you'll break up. Except rather than leaving u heartbroken she'll kill you by infecting you.

HIV is no joke man I've had family die from that **** its a very terrible way to die you dont want that run away fast.

This is real life man not lifetime movie network
 
#64
1SHOT1HIT said:
I'd say absolutely NOT, and I'm sorry if that makes me sound shallow/sad/heartless (Samantha)
But no way, no how!

There is NOTHING anyone in this thread has said that is sad, or bad in ANY way.
Self preservation is natural human nature, and willingly getting involved with someone with a contagious life threatening disease is 1) not necessary.
2) not wise. No matter how politically correct, and sensitive you wanna think people should be.

I personally don't care if someone could spout off 100 different examples of successful friends who have done it successfully. Those numbers/friends would be ominously shadowed by people who haven't had that good fortune, and likely also regret making that horribly ill thought out decision.

This talk about treatments and such, um no! There's no better treatment or risk management than staying completely clear of it if at all possible.
Why take a huge known risk?
And why should anyone here feel bad because they don't want to risk being stricken with a disease, that the person we're supposed to be feeling bad for would likely give anything to not have themselves?
We're just being more careful now, than they were in their past. (Excluding those who contracted it involuntarily, or by no fault of their own of course)

I don't think a single person in the thread has ANYTHING to feel bad about.

"Imagine how they feel"?
I can.....and don't want to share in it, sorry, but that doesn't make us bad people, it makes us good at risk management/avoidance.

And why would they have ANY trouble dating?
There are so many groups, communities, threads, associations, and so on that are chalked full of HIV positive members who they can date, and be more than happy with! WITHOUT furthering the spread of this horrible disease.

I'm sorry but if I was HIV+ I wouldn't ever consider dating anyone who wasn't also HIV+.
Here we are as a society that has this horrible debilitating disease, and instead of people that 'knowingly' risk further spreading it being expected to feel bad, those of us that choose to avoid it are made to believe we're supposed to feel bad. Really? C'mon! That's ridiculous.

I say absolutely not, and there isn't a bad feeling in me about it.
Friends? YES!
Sexual involvement? Not a chance I'd ever be willing to take regardless of care tactics, treatments, or any other risk management anyone could EVER come up with.

A single person has a hard enough time avoiding STD's as it is w/o jumping head first into the worst of the worst.
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There is no reason to feel bad for having an educated and well thought out opinion.

Some of the posts in this thread reflect that.
To you and the others that actually took the time to read the thread, think about it and give a clear and concise reason as to why, I applaud you.

To clarify my point further it's not people who are on the nay side of this that made the thread seem sad to me, it's those that state it without context or a clear and defined reason as to why.
 
#66
SamanthaCay said:
There is no reason to feel bad for having an educated and well thought out opinion.

Some of the posts in this thread reflect that.
To you and the others that actually took the time to read the thread, think about it and give a clear and concise reason as to why, I applaud you.

To clarify my point further it's not people who are on the nay side of this that made the thread seem sad to me, it's those that state it without context or a clear and defined reason as to why.
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Happy to see it wasn't taken too offensively!

Makes for MUCH more enjoyable discussion.
I'd assume though that many who were less descriptive have more elaborate reasoning beyond the short versions they've shared.
 
#67
curbowkid said:
Lets add another color to this rainbow.

Recently two men who had a bone marrow transfusion or whatever had their HIV effectivly wiped out completely.

Discuss!
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Would be incredibly awesome if this is true and proves to be the end of said disease. Even a bit of relief would be great for those carrying it I'm sure.
 
#68
curbowkid said:
Lets add another color to this rainbow.

Recently two men who had a bone marrow transfusion or whatever had their HIV effectivly wiped out completely.

Discuss!
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Still early days and it isn't fully understood why they aren't showing HIV, the transplants were for cancer treatment IIRC so the cancer could have also played a role (however, a cure would be awesome!)
 
#69
SamanthaCay said:
There is no reason to feel bad for having an educated and well thought out opinion.

Some of the posts in this thread reflect that.
To you and the others that actually took the time to read the thread, think about it and give a clear and concise reason as to why, I applaud you.

To clarify my point further it's not people who are on the nay side of this that made the thread seem sad to me, it's those that state it without context or a clear and defined reason as to why.
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I think enough people have already mentioned the reasons why. Kinda silly to restate things again and again, but YMMV. I wouldn't necessarily see it as a sign of ignorance or lack of understanding.
 
#74
SamanthaCay said:
You know reading this thread is actually kind of sad for a couple reasons.

One is the lack of care for the other side.
(imagine being in their shoes, where no one would want to date you for the rest of your life, actually imagine having HIV and reading this thread)

Two is the lack of understanding in what HIV is, how it is transmitted and treated.

I have a good friend living with it and to be honest if it weren't for him I'd probably be in the same boat as most of you in this thread.
So to be clear, I'm not placing blame on any of you for your posts here but rather just trying to enlighten this thread a little.

That said and also that I understand that real love has no bounds I would say yes, if the person appealed enough for me to date them otherwise I would still want to date them.

I would also probably be more proactive in doing some self study on the subject.
As it would not just be something I wished to not contract at that point, but something I'd be more vested in educating myself with.
I'd relay this to my partner as well and express that it is my wish to take things slow until I feel comfortable.

Also Fyi for those of you who don't know, people can go entire life times now living with HIV given the proper modern treatments and that the person is of a healthy attitude and that their physical being follows suit.

Further more you can have a lasting sexual relationship with someone who has HIV.
In addition to condoms and safe oral sex practices there are also drugs out now that can be administered in a brief period after possible contamination to prevent you from contracting it.

Last I'd like to get back to that friend of mine, he's been with the same person for 15 years, positive the whole time and his partner is not.
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I think people can be empathetic to the HIV status of the person but still not want to deal with all the issues surrounding dating someone with HIV.

Also you can't really say how informed a person is by the post that they made here, which could just be their "knee jerk" reaction to the question. You don't want them to judge, but you kind of want to judge them for not exploring all there is to know about HIV. :D

Also maybe someone would like to have a relationship with a person where they could engage in intercourse without condoms and oral sex without physical barriers because they know the level of enjoyment they get out of sex and the connection they make with their partner to them is greater without "barriers".
 
#75
1SHOT1HIT said:
...There's no better treatment or risk management than staying completely clear of it if at all possible.
Why take a huge known risk?
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This is a good point.

Although we all take risks in our lives, starting with getting out of bed in the morning, there are certain risks we can mitigate.

I ride a motorcycle. This is a known risk, and a significant one. I choose to mitigate the risk by always wearing protective gear, and never riding when angry or tired. I don't drink, so that eliminates the possibility of riding drunk. Still, plenty of risk remains. I accept it, and so does my husband. This is a choice we've made.

Having sex is a risk. Certain things can happen. There are ways to minimize the chances of these things, but there's enough stories of "Oh wow, this was a surprise" to lead me to believe that nothing's perfect. It seems like having a sexual relationship with someone with HIV is similar to me deciding to go riding without my helmet right after closing time at the bars and while tired and pissed. In the snow. With bald tires. I've just upped the odds of something going tragically wrong, for no good reason.

Just my $.02.
 
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