Um, unprotected sex is one of the easiest ways to contract it. Just sayin', that's a pretty ironic statement to make, and one that could seriously backfire on you.
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Would you date someone with HIV?
- Thread starter MAJOR METAL
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Um, unprotected sex is one of the easiest ways to contract it. Just sayin', that's a pretty ironic statement to make, and one that could seriously backfire on you.
slobake
resident ... something
I agree with Jim and James Hart, good luck Kevin. You are good guy and I wish the best for you.
Like was said earlier in the thread, I would have a friendship with someone with HIV, a friendship is a relationship, but I wouldn't get sexually involved.
It isn't enough to see if its a case of "funny Gina" or not?
I mean most pictures of the great (sarcasm) diseases you generally can tell. HIV is just one of those wild cards. But you can't catch much from a manual.
You know reading this thread is actually kind of sad for a couple reasons.
One is the lack of care for the other side.
(imagine being in their shoes, where no one would want to date you for the rest of your life, actually imagine having HIV and reading this thread)
Two is the lack of understanding in what HIV is, how it is transmitted and treated.
I have a good friend living with it and to be honest if it weren't for him I'd probably be in the same boat as most of you in this thread.
So to be clear, I'm not placing blame on any of you for your posts here but rather just trying to enlighten this thread a little.
That said and also that I understand that real love has no bounds I would say yes, if the person appealed enough for me to date them otherwise I would still want to date them.
I would also probably be more proactive in doing some self study on the subject.
As it would not just be something I wished to not contract at that point, but something I'd be more vested in educating myself with.
I'd relay this to my partner as well and express that it is my wish to take things slow until I feel comfortable.
Also Fyi for those of you who don't know, people can go entire life times now living with HIV given the proper modern treatments and that the person is of a healthy attitude and that their physical being follows suit.
Further more you can have a lasting sexual relationship with someone who has HIV.
In addition to condoms and safe oral sex practices there are also drugs out now that can be administered in a brief period after possible contamination to prevent you from contracting it.
Last I'd like to get back to that friend of mine, he's been with the same person for 15 years, positive the whole time and his partner is not.
One is the lack of care for the other side.
(imagine being in their shoes, where no one would want to date you for the rest of your life, actually imagine having HIV and reading this thread)
Two is the lack of understanding in what HIV is, how it is transmitted and treated.
I have a good friend living with it and to be honest if it weren't for him I'd probably be in the same boat as most of you in this thread.
So to be clear, I'm not placing blame on any of you for your posts here but rather just trying to enlighten this thread a little.
That said and also that I understand that real love has no bounds I would say yes, if the person appealed enough for me to date them otherwise I would still want to date them.
I would also probably be more proactive in doing some self study on the subject.
As it would not just be something I wished to not contract at that point, but something I'd be more vested in educating myself with.
I'd relay this to my partner as well and express that it is my wish to take things slow until I feel comfortable.
Also Fyi for those of you who don't know, people can go entire life times now living with HIV given the proper modern treatments and that the person is of a healthy attitude and that their physical being follows suit.
Further more you can have a lasting sexual relationship with someone who has HIV.
In addition to condoms and safe oral sex practices there are also drugs out now that can be administered in a brief period after possible contamination to prevent you from contracting it.
Last I'd like to get back to that friend of mine, he's been with the same person for 15 years, positive the whole time and his partner is not.
I'm not married but I have a 2 year old and am with her mom and I must say.... **** no. I dont really have to worry about this because im in a relationship but even if i wasnt..I love life too much to risk not seeing my daughter grow, and all because I wanted to hook up with some girl one night? Nah. I feel bad for people that have contracted HIV accidentally through bad transfusions or whatever but there's no reason to risk your long term well being. Even for love.
Nope. I'm married!
Seriously though, no, I wouldn't. That's playing games a little too close to the grave for my stomach. If we want to argue the fine points (and I'm sure anyone who wants to validate the choice to date someone with HIV does) we can separate it from AIDS and say, "Well, HIV is not full blow AIDS." True. It's not; but it's the immediate precursor to it and the risk level is astronomical.
At this point in time, AIDS is a guaranteed death sentence (unless you have Magic Johnson's bank account--and to my knowledge he's the only one who has lived this long with AIDS). The real world = 100% mortality rate for AIDS patients. There is no vaccination on the market and there is no cure.
The only vaccination they are beginning to try to work with is experimental and appears to only have an effect on newborns. You're not a newborn. If you get AIDS, you're gonna die from it...guaranteed. When you have no immune system, you are susceptible to EVERY infection and disease that you come in contact with (skin, digestion, dental, lungs, etc.). I've seen AIDS patients. It's an absolutely hellish way to die.
Samantha made some good points. The reality is that there are some exceptions to the norm; however, you aren't guaranteed that you will be an exception. Engaging in sexual relations with an HIV patient is extremely high risk. Yes, there are medications on the market to treat you once you have HIV (if you discover it early enough)...but how's your bank account look? HIV drugs, like chemo drugs, are very expensive. You have to take them religiously for the rest of your life. You'd better hope your money lasts as long as you hope to live because managing a disease like this can financially wipe you out. Once you're wiped out, you can't expect free medical care for years on end. You can HOPE for it and put all your trust in Obama's healthcare reforms but the reality is that you may end up a day late and a dollar short on your healthcare.
Yes, it's sad to be someone with HIV and have everyone be too afraid to date you. It's not much different than the millions of overweight, unattractive, or the physically or mentally handicapped people in our world that live that way. There are lots of things to be sad about in this life. Don't let emotions lead you into a bad idea.
No thanks.
Another no here. Sorry, but ... no.
Most of my big mistakes (and certainly the most damaging ones) in life have come down to not following this rule.
Most of my big mistakes (and certainly the most damaging ones) in life have come down to not following this rule.
Wow, that's tough. I dated a girl with herpes many years ago. We had sex, carefully. But it was always on my mind. Don't think I'd do it again. HIV? I'm sorry but, no. Just too risky.
You want to be involved with someone who has used IV drugs or other risky behavior? I don't. How about someone who doesn't/didn't particularly care who they screwed? That's not something I want to deal with. Someone who has been involved in these is also a candidate for HepC and many other diseases I don't want. If the person considering the relationship has a problem with these activities, it will raise questions about the carrier's lifestyle choices and IMO, it's perfectly valid to want to know.
To the OP- Being friends is one thing, but a long-term relationship that's beyond friendship, and all that goes with it, is different. If friendship is compelling, be friends. If you just can't stop yourself from becoming involved, be careful.
I'd say absolutely NOT, and I'm sorry if that makes me sound shallow/sad/heartless (Samantha)
But no way, no how!
There is NOTHING anyone in this thread has said that is sad, or bad in ANY way.
Self preservation is natural human nature, and willingly getting involved with someone with a contagious life threatening disease is 1) not necessary.
2) not wise. No matter how politically correct, and sensitive you wanna think people should be.
I personally don't care if someone could spout off 100 different examples of successful friends who have done it successfully. Those numbers/friends would be ominously shadowed by people who haven't had that good fortune, and likely also regret making that horribly ill thought out decision.
This talk about treatments and such, um no! There's no better treatment or risk management than staying completely clear of it if at all possible.
Why take a huge known risk?
And why should anyone here feel bad because they don't want to risk being stricken with a disease, that the person we're supposed to be feeling bad for would likely give anything to not have themselves?
We're just being more careful now, than they were in their past. (Excluding those who contracted it involuntarily, or by no fault of their own of course)
I don't think a single person in the thread has ANYTHING to feel bad about.
"Imagine how they feel"?
I can.....and don't want to share in it, sorry, but that doesn't make us bad people, it makes us good at risk management/avoidance.
And why would they have ANY trouble dating?
There are so many groups, communities, threads, associations, and so on that are chalked full of HIV positive members who they can date, and be more than happy with! WITHOUT furthering the spread of this horrible disease.
I'm sorry but if I was HIV+ I wouldn't ever consider dating anyone who wasn't also HIV+.
Here we are as a society that has this horrible debilitating disease, and instead of people that 'knowingly' risk further spreading it being expected to feel bad, those of us that choose to avoid it are made to believe we're supposed to feel bad. Really? C'mon! That's ridiculous.
I say absolutely not, and there isn't a bad feeling in me about it.
Friends? YES!
Sexual involvement? Not a chance I'd ever be willing to take regardless of care tactics, treatments, or any other risk management anyone could EVER come up with.
A single person has a hard enough time avoiding STD's as it is w/o jumping head first into the worst of the worst.
But no way, no how!
There is NOTHING anyone in this thread has said that is sad, or bad in ANY way.
Self preservation is natural human nature, and willingly getting involved with someone with a contagious life threatening disease is 1) not necessary.
2) not wise. No matter how politically correct, and sensitive you wanna think people should be.
I personally don't care if someone could spout off 100 different examples of successful friends who have done it successfully. Those numbers/friends would be ominously shadowed by people who haven't had that good fortune, and likely also regret making that horribly ill thought out decision.
This talk about treatments and such, um no! There's no better treatment or risk management than staying completely clear of it if at all possible.
Why take a huge known risk?
And why should anyone here feel bad because they don't want to risk being stricken with a disease, that the person we're supposed to be feeling bad for would likely give anything to not have themselves?
We're just being more careful now, than they were in their past. (Excluding those who contracted it involuntarily, or by no fault of their own of course)
I don't think a single person in the thread has ANYTHING to feel bad about.
"Imagine how they feel"?
I can.....and don't want to share in it, sorry, but that doesn't make us bad people, it makes us good at risk management/avoidance.
And why would they have ANY trouble dating?
There are so many groups, communities, threads, associations, and so on that are chalked full of HIV positive members who they can date, and be more than happy with! WITHOUT furthering the spread of this horrible disease.
I'm sorry but if I was HIV+ I wouldn't ever consider dating anyone who wasn't also HIV+.
Here we are as a society that has this horrible debilitating disease, and instead of people that 'knowingly' risk further spreading it being expected to feel bad, those of us that choose to avoid it are made to believe we're supposed to feel bad. Really? C'mon! That's ridiculous.
I say absolutely not, and there isn't a bad feeling in me about it.
Friends? YES!
Sexual involvement? Not a chance I'd ever be willing to take regardless of care tactics, treatments, or any other risk management anyone could EVER come up with.
A single person has a hard enough time avoiding STD's as it is w/o jumping head first into the worst of the worst.
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