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Would you quit this band?

#62
JeremyS said:
Hey All -

Thanks for all of your responses - and for those of you who asked, no it's not a joke, but after reading all of the things you guys had to say, I gotta say I am feeling like a bit of a chump. I don't know why I stuck around for this long, and it really doesn't matter at this point - it's my last day as a member of this "band".

Again, thanks to all who responded and offered their words of advice - you guys really put it into perspective for me and brought a lot of clarity to the situation that I, for whatever reason, didn't have.

J.
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Glad you chose to leave. I am really amazed that it took you this long to decide though. Go out and find another gig, I'm sure you won't have any trouble.

Just to be sure, you did follow thru and dump this yahoo, right?
 
#63
JeremyS said:
Hey All,

I've been struggling with whether to leave a band I've been a part of for over four years. I think I know the answer, but some input from my fellow musicians would be much appreciated.

It's an original band - well, a singer-songwriter + me and a drummer. We're not included in the writing process, although we do have a hand in the arranging.

Here's the dilemma: I love the music - it's been one of the most musically fulfilling projects I've been a part of, but we're in the same place now as we were four years ago. Jeremy
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Jeremy, What do you want out of music. Play out a lot, maybe get paid or enjoy the original music as a hobby?

He's keeping the money and tells you you're replaceable?

Call him and ask him if his offer is still (your replacable) good, and take him up on it and and move on.

blue
 
#66
Waffles and Scotch said:
Quit. And if possible, take the drummer with you.
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Do this. I was in a situation where the drummer and I loved the music, but the situation was a little abusive. I quit, took the drummer with me, started to work together as a rhythm section and within 6 months landed 2 excellent gigs together. The former "boss" was pissed and we felt good about it (at least I did). Show them who really is boss.

As far as not promoting... hell, back in 1993, when no one owned a computer and the internet was only an idea, I had a semi-successful band and, at the very least, we had a mailing list that we had people fill-out at shows and we made postcards to send to each and every person every month. How else would people know when we were going to play again?

Don't beat yourself up over this; learn from this experience.

By the way, let us know how it all turned out. I've subscribed to this thread.
 
#69
Get the hell out of there and don't look back.

While the situation in my old band (all originals) is different from yours, I understand where you're coming from. We had a myspace page that our guitarist took down because he didn't like the background graphics of the page. He began booking shows without consulting anybody and would not tell anybody that we had a show until the night before. When we started to get paid he started keeping the money from the shows saying that he deserves gas money, when he typically had the shortest drive of us all to get to the bar. I got the hell out of that situation as fast as possible, yet I loved the band and the music. It's been 2 years and I still haven't found a band that's just as talented and sounds just as good as that band.
 
#70
We're expected to share in the costs (rehearsal, gear rental, travel expenses, etc.) yet if we do get paid for a show, he keeps that money.
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This alone was enough for me to say quit.

The guy sounds like a total tool to me. In my opinion, there's no reason you should be in his band, paying your money for the band, when you're not getting anything in return. I would quit the group. However, the decision is yours.
 
#71
i got to the 4th paragraph and yes, you should quit. sounds like it was bothering you for awhile and it should have. follow your instincts. if he is being greedy with the money now, imagine what would happen if big money started coming in.
 
#72
Update:

So, I quit the band. I met up with the singer at his place (I had to pick up gear), and told him that I was done. He basically shrugged and said that the drummer has a buddy that wants to play bass with them. I'm not sure if that was actually the case or he was just being a knob.

A couple of days later he emailed me asking me to do a show in February because it would be easier for him to have me do it rather than break in a new guy. I have not responded.

Like many of you have posted on this thread, I don't know why I stuck around as long as I did. In hindsight, I should have left long ago. I look back on so many instances where I was treated like crap and just wonder ***? Why did I let myself get treated that way? But it's over and done with now and I know that I won't let a situation like that happen again - on to bigger and better things!

Thanks again you guys, seriously.
 
#74
JeremyS said:
A couple of days later he emailed me ... I have not responded.
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Good move! I would continue with that program!
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#80
JeremyS said:
Update:

So, I quit the band. I met up with the singer at his place (I had to pick up gear), and told him that I was done. He basically shrugged and said that the drummer has a buddy that wants to play bass with them. I'm not sure if that was actually the case or he was just being a knob.

A couple of days later he emailed me asking me to do a show in February because it would be easier for him to have me do it rather than break in a new guy. I have not responded.
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What a dick! He probably figures he can get you to do the job for free instead of having to pay someone new.
 

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