Hey All,
I've been struggling with whether to leave a band I've been a part of for over four years. I think I know the answer, but some input from my fellow musicians would be much appreciated.
It's an original band - well, a singer-songwriter + me and a drummer. We're not included in the writing process, although we do have a hand in the arranging.
Here's the dilemma: I love the music - it's been one of the most musically fulfilling projects I've been a part of, but we're in the same place now as we were four years ago. The writer basically refuses to do any promo/social media/interweb stuff (and will not support the other 2 people doing any of it either - after I built facebook and myspace band pages and populated them with several hundred "fans", he deleted them shortly thereafter because he didn't feel they were necessary) and insists that the music alone will bring the people to us. Which it obviously hasn't.
We're expected to share in the costs (rehearsal, gear rental, travel expenses, etc.) yet if we do get paid for a show, he keeps that money. It's been made clear that I'm replaceable and he has used subs in the past when I've been unavailable for a gig (we gig an average of once a month).
The last four rehearsals have been canceled by either him or the drummer (twice while I've been en route to said rehearsal), yet this evening, right after the drummer canceled the rehearsal yet again, he blamed me for not having enough time to rehearse with the band. I'm generally available 3-4 nights a week to rehearse (I gig with other "working" bands as well).
I'm continually frustrated by the situation, and our personalities are not that complimentary, to say the least. If it weren't for the music, I'd have been gone within the first 6 months. I feel that the considerable amount of time I've put in is not being appreciated, I'm spending money to be in this "band", and we're playing the same rooms as we were when we started.
Reading over this, it's fairly obvious that I need to leave, but I've put so much time in, really do like the music (and although it's the most important aspect, that is the only aspect I like), and feel guilty about leaving.
Am I being a whiny little b@#$%, or is it really time to cut my losses and move on?
You have my gratitude if you've taken the time to read through this mini-novel, haha!
Jeremy
I've been struggling with whether to leave a band I've been a part of for over four years. I think I know the answer, but some input from my fellow musicians would be much appreciated.
It's an original band - well, a singer-songwriter + me and a drummer. We're not included in the writing process, although we do have a hand in the arranging.
Here's the dilemma: I love the music - it's been one of the most musically fulfilling projects I've been a part of, but we're in the same place now as we were four years ago. The writer basically refuses to do any promo/social media/interweb stuff (and will not support the other 2 people doing any of it either - after I built facebook and myspace band pages and populated them with several hundred "fans", he deleted them shortly thereafter because he didn't feel they were necessary) and insists that the music alone will bring the people to us. Which it obviously hasn't.
We're expected to share in the costs (rehearsal, gear rental, travel expenses, etc.) yet if we do get paid for a show, he keeps that money. It's been made clear that I'm replaceable and he has used subs in the past when I've been unavailable for a gig (we gig an average of once a month).
The last four rehearsals have been canceled by either him or the drummer (twice while I've been en route to said rehearsal), yet this evening, right after the drummer canceled the rehearsal yet again, he blamed me for not having enough time to rehearse with the band. I'm generally available 3-4 nights a week to rehearse (I gig with other "working" bands as well).
I'm continually frustrated by the situation, and our personalities are not that complimentary, to say the least. If it weren't for the music, I'd have been gone within the first 6 months. I feel that the considerable amount of time I've put in is not being appreciated, I'm spending money to be in this "band", and we're playing the same rooms as we were when we started.
Reading over this, it's fairly obvious that I need to leave, but I've put so much time in, really do like the music (and although it's the most important aspect, that is the only aspect I like), and feel guilty about leaving.
Am I being a whiny little b@#$%, or is it really time to cut my losses and move on?
You have my gratitude if you've taken the time to read through this mini-novel, haha!
Jeremy
