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Adventures in auditions, jealous GF edition.

#81
frankie5string said:
Well if he doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're" ... :roflmao:

Did I miss something? All I saw was that text message you posted that talked about his gf's anxiety. I didn't see anything that was that crass or basic in the exchange.

The other factor is "happy wife, happy life" may also apply. He may know or have witnessed her anxiety causing relationship issues in the past and would rather err on the side of caution. Sometimes avoiding anxiety-triggering situations is a good way to deal wth anxiety.

Onwards and upwards...
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"... expressed preferences for male bandmates..." and "nothing to do with your playing, we thought it was good"

:roflmao:
 
#84
Flamingo21 said:
OP got rejected a dozen times in a few months, always for the same lame reason. It's hard (for her and for me) not to get cynical about it.
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If that’s the case, and I can only guess why (and my own cynicism leads me to a different reason - there are always two sides to every story) then I think it’s time for her to put her own band together.

Is apartment living a legit excuse not to work towards assembling ones own band? If that’s the case then there would be no bands in NYC.
 
#85
frankie5string said:
If that’s the case, and I can only guess why (and my own cynicism leads me to a different reason - there are always two sides to every story) then I think it’s time for her to put her own band together.

Is apartment living a legit excuse not to work towards assembling ones own band? If that’s the case then there would be no bands in NYC.
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Lol, you ARE cynical! :D
 
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#87
The title is a bit misleading. Based on the info provided I don't see anything about "jealousy" or a "GF". I see something about an anxious wife and preference for male players. Granted the band could've handled it better and said, thanks for your interest but we're going in a different direction. That way, its business and not personal.

Just FYI. In my area, players that vent or air grievances online are red flagged
 
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#88
frankie5string said:
If that’s the case, and I can only guess why (and my own cynicism leads me to a different reason - there are always two sides to every story) then I think it’s time for her to put her own band together.

Is apartment living a legit excuse not to work towards assembling ones own band? If that’s the case then there would be no bands in NYC.
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LOL, ok bud.
 
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#89
Jantelagen said:
The title is a bit misleading. Based on the info provided I don't see anything about "jealousy" or a "GF". I see something about an anxious wife and preference for male players. Granted the band could've handled it better and said, thanks for your interest but we're going in a different direction. That way, its business and not personal.

Just FYI. In my area, players that vent or air grievances online are red flagged
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... and just who is this "fyi" for, exactly?
 
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#90
Jantelagen said:
The title is a bit misleading. Based on the info provided I don't see anything about "jealousy" or a "GF". I see something about an anxious wife and preference for male players. Granted the band could've handled it better and said, thanks for your interest but we're going in a different direction. That way, its business and not personal.

Just FYI. In my area, players that vent or air grievances online are red flagged
Click to expand...

Oh, so you're JD???
 
#91
frankie5string said:
If that’s the case, and I can only guess why (and my own cynicism leads me to a different reason - there are always two sides to every story) then I think it’s time for her to put her own band together.

Is apartment living a legit excuse not to work towards assembling ones own band? If that’s the case then there would be no bands in NYC.
Click to expand...

Oh god :rollno:
 
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#93
mcnach said:
Oh god :rollno:
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Lol! What? 12 bands rejected in a short period of time. All of us who play professionally or even semi-pro have suffered rejection coming up as musicians - it's unfortunately part of the process. You eventually find the people who want your talents, or you form your own cadre of talent around yourself.

But the second thing she posted was this, which started out really well, but ended really badly (see italics):
"There are a ton of what if's i could have responded with but decided to just let em be, and I moved on. I've seen the attraction argument come up before and its always a damn frustrating thing because its BS.
Bleh."

Maybe, just maybe, there's a better bass player getting into these bands? Oh, no, it can't be that... lmao!

Your mileage may vary.
 
#94
rutrho said:
... and just who is this "fyi" for, exactly?
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Not attacking. Posting something online in a public forum could come back to haunt you. For example, if the band felt bad and wanted to refer you to another band then saw this thread, it could be a hindrance. Or, if word got around that a player is prone to vent in online forums then it can create a bad rep. More and more I see bands background check social media activity. That's all I'm saying
 
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#95
Jantelagen said:
Not attacking. Posting something online in a public forum could come back to haunt you. For example, if the band felt bad and wanted to refer you to another band then saw this thread, it could be a hindrance. Or, if word got around that a player is prone to vent in online forums then it can create a bad rep. More and more I see bands background check social media activity. That's all I'm saying
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Also, Talkbass is heavily indexed for searching by Google. It would take very little effort to turn up this thread with a google search.
 
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#96
Man I've been turned down before, but never because a girl in the band said "hey, sorry, but my boyfriend doesn't think it's a good idea...."

I'm not normally into such things, but the idea of getting passed on due to my sex made me think about the OP honestly. Sometimes being a lady in our society sux. I used to live in Mexico, and it's a hindsight worse there too. My wife is hot and I've seen her deal with such things in her career. She's done well regardless, but it really is bs....
 
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#97
/shrug
frankie5string said:
Maybe, just maybe, there's a better bass player getting into these bands? Oh, no, it can't be that... lmao!
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You're welcome to say that, I really could care less. But seeing as I've had auditions end without playing more than 10 notes? lol. A lot of people are a lot more closed minded than you might think, you seem to be included in that group.

A personal tenant of mine is to constantly seek improvement, to constantly learn and grow and improve. The best rejections I've had are the ones I can learn from and grow from. If I audition and and they tell me I suck, I ask what issues where and then focus on improving those. This is not one of those cases. Nor have a LOT of my recent audition frustrations.

But hey, you're welcome to think whatever you want, haha.
 
#98
210superair said:
Man I've been turned down before, but never because a girl in the band said "hey, sorry, but my boyfriend doesn't think it's a good idea...."

I'm not normally into such things, but the idea of getting passed on due to my sex made me think about the OP honestly. Sometimes being a lady in our society sux. I used to live in Mexico, and it's a hindsight worse there too. My wife is hot and I've seen her deal with such things in her career. She's done well regardless, but it really is bs....
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Thats pretty much it. It happens a TON.
 
#100
rutrho said:
/shrug


You're welcome to say that, I really could care less. But seeing as I've had auditions end without playing more than 10 notes? lol. A lot of people are a lot more closed minded than you might think, you seem to be included in that group.

A personal tenant of mine is to constantly seek improvement, to constantly learn and grow and improve. The best rejections I've had are the ones I can learn from and grow from. If I audition and and they tell me I suck, I ask what issues where and then focus on improving those. This is not one of those cases. Nor have a LOT of my recent audition frustrations.

But hey, you're welcome to think whatever you want, haha.
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It's "I really couldn't care less" and "tenet" ... but you know... "closed minded"
So why don't you start your own band?

And yes... many bands can tell from 10 notes in if their bass player isn't going to work regardless of how you look or what your sex may be.
 

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