Hah, I pretty much agree with the we're all dudes bit, growing up in the bay area and then living in Santa Barbara for the better part of a decade. Its very much a thing here, less so than some parts of the world...
Anyways, in the context of relationships and other stuff... well its complicated, first about me: I'm super duper queer. Married to an awesome woman, we have a kick ass kid, I work in aerospace engineering/mfg, and I generally have the social skills of a sack of potatoes and am a-typical of of the experiences that a lot of people have. In short, a lot of people expect me to be and act one way based on my appearance, and its just not the case.
So how does this apply to what I said about some of the sort of cis-het normative things that people do in their relationships? Quite a bit, but its less important from my existence, experiences and other garbage and to do with how other people tend to see others and interact with them.
We as people only have our own unique expectations of others to guide how we choose to interact with someone upon meeting them for the first time, or as a series of interactions forms into a meaningful relationship. You see it a lot in more in topics of race or identity politics and it generally turns into a messy cluster -fsk real quick when that happens. In this specific context of band goofyness and this dude and his gf, well, there is some bizarre jealousy that I admittedly don't fully understand, but its something that we generally see in society as a whole.
I guess an easier example would be some of the tropes about male - female dynamics in relationships when it comes to interaction between partners and their friends and nights out with the guys or nights out with the girls.
(I really hope this makes sense, Coffee isn't kicking in yet...)
I guess a clear example is seeing a group of women on a tv show, and someone in that fictional group makes a comment about their bf doing something and then the group chiming about dumping his ass over some tiny issue or other dumb thing. yeh, its fiction but garbage like that does happen.
There are a lot of social norms that we tend to force on others without really seeing/realizing them and it takes a LOT of effort to really even start seeing them much less moving past them for most people.
Anyways, hope this sort of made sense... having long nuanced discussions on social functions and behavior is not something I'm good at. I can do a much better job telling someone how to design and build a gimbal for a spacecraft....
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