Am I asking too much from the drummer?

[MakoMan]

It took me 3 pages of reading to finally come to grips with the fact that it's the bass player who has the unreliable vehicle and wants to get a ride to practices with the drummer. If you guys switched instruments this thread would make a lot more sense

You have a drummer with his own car who can get to practices and gigs all by himself. No need to ask any more... you've already won the lottery.

 

[tshapiro]

90 minute commute to practice. Oh, hell no. Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

[bbh]

You have the problem, not him.

Its a good idea in your mind to carpool with him because your car is not up to snuff.

While your offer to cover expenses is fine, it is also fine for him to decline.

You have the problem not him.

I like your ‘outside looking in’ take. Very astute. Wish I’d said it that way.

 

[bbh]

I hate driving with 1 guy in particular. It’s just that he has the worst breathe I’ve ever had the displeasure of being near.

 

[casualmadness]

I would never carpool with anyone because I’m a pretty hardcore introvert and am not great at small talk. Maybe same for the drummer. I’m pretty ostracized at my job because it seems like the only thing people can discuss to any reasonable length is football. No offense to anyone but in my world view, there is nothing more silly and pointless than football. I wish I had an emoji to convey the looks I’ve gotten when replying to the “who’s your team” question.
And as others have said, I like to be in control of when I arrive and when I leave.

 

[Crockettnj]

Driving alone gets a bit tedious.

I would prefer that he drive since my truck topper leaks, is not comfortable and has electrical problems.

So what do you think?

Mama Crockett said if you cant enjoy time alone, with just yourself, how can you expect anyone else to enjoy being with you?

I like the time alone when driving.

Sometimes to listen to the tunes we play, sometimes just to crank the stuff I like, and sometimes to listen to talk radio. On long trips...

^ this.

 

[Crockettnj]

... an to be honest, this really isn't band management. This is life management.

The OP actually typed that one of the reasons that he asked the drummer to drive is that his car isnt comfortable.

Sorry, IMO this isnt band management any more than its a for sale ad.

 

[mstillman]

Does said drummer have a girlfriend?

Are you asking so you'll know the drummer's address?

 

[DrMole]

Are you asking so you'll know the drummer's address?

Despite how many variations of this exist- Never gets old, ALWAYS funny.*



*Former HS percussionist, owner of a mostly-operable-not-played-in-15 years- Slingerland set and two "hippie drums".

 

[4dog]

hes just not that into you.

 

[51PRI]

90 minute commute to practice. Oh, hell no. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Right. I wouldn't drive 90 minutes one way to rehearse unless there were lots of GOOD paying gigs.

I play in a band that practices about 1-1/2 hour (on a good traffic day) from my house. We recently got a new drummer who lives in my neighborhood. I thought it would be a good idea for us to carpool. He initially was agreeable. I texted him today and he said he would rather drive separately because I am too much out of the way. Really? I'm 4 miles from him and practically on the way to practice.

I thought carpooling would be a good idea to save on gas and so that we could get to know each other. Driving alone gets a bit tedious. I would prefer that he drive since my truck topper leaks, is not comfortable and has electrical problems. (This is the year that I buy a new vehicle.) Of course I told him that I would pay for gas. Heck I'd even buy him and early dinner.

So what do you think?

It's not a deal breaker. Don't worry about it.

BTW, I even offered to drive, and I would have to drive out of my way a little bit to get him and his drums...I got my truck back this afternoon. The repairs were about half the value of the truck. So it looks like I will be getting a new vehicle next year.

Why wait till next year? Your truck is (probably temporarily) fixed right now. Trade that sucker off now!

 

[IamGroot]

3 hr commute for rehearsal?

No way I would want to spend that amount of time for anything other than an amazing gig.
Spending that time with someone I dont know and possibly may not want to be friends with makes it sound worse.

A lot of people posting here assume your band mates need to be your buddies. Not me and i have 40+years of gigging experience behind that mind set. For me, bandmates are folks that happen to be in the band playing with me. If they can play and show up for the gig, i am cool with it. Their drug habits do not bother me unless it gets in the way of the music or they steal my gear. Phenomenal guitarist on meds for pstchiatric issues... no problem. Pimping their live in gf on the street is not my problem although i lost that guys phone number cuz he would wave a gun if he got mad. Nice church going folks are preferred if they can do the gig. If mot, they are toast.

I was really busy a decade ago playing jazz and got spoiled as there were no bands or tehearsals, just phone calls for gigs.

 

[Smooth_bass88]

Are you asking so you'll know the drummer's address?

You're not familiar with that old joke?

 

[DrMole]

You're not familiar with that old joke?

He got the joke- thus his post about the drummer's address.

 

[LBS-bass]

It just sank in that this is a 3 hour commute. I would do a 3-hr round trip commute for an epic show with a seriously good band that was paying well, and I would only do it a couple of times as dress rehearsal after everyone in the band already knew their parts down cold. I would not sign up for that as a weekly thing.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Look at it from his perspective - you wanted to carpool and that changed to him giving you a ride. How would you feel about that? Plus he’s probably not sure how long he wants to do this three hour drive for rehearsal thing. If your gigs aren’t paying well, it’s likely that he is planning on leaving soon.

 

[Sywannab]

Maybe he just not yet be comfortable with you because he's new in the band.
Why don'y you buy him early dinner and try to get to know each other after the practice?

I play in a band that practices about 1-1/2 hour (on a good traffic day) from my house. We recently got a new drummer who lives in my neighborhood. I thought it would be a good idea for us to carpool. He initially was agreeable. I texted him today and he said he would rather drive separately because I am too much out of the way. Really? I'm 4 miles from him and practically on the way to practice.

I thought carpooling would be a good idea to save on gas and so that we could get to know each other. Driving alone gets a bit tedious. I would prefer that he drive since my truck topper leaks, is not comfortable and has electrical problems. (This is the year that I buy a new vehicle.) Of course I told him that I would pay for gas. Heck I'd even buy him and early dinner.

So what do you think?

 

[bass.slinger]

.
my friend took a friend of a friend she didn't really know home, but when she got pulled over, it turned out he had a bag of small bags of weed in her car and he had pushed it under her seat. she was a real straight arrow but she lost her job over this, her career, spent the first night of her life in jail.

This. The main reason I never drove any of the members of my last band anywhere. Also, what are the odds you are friends with every band member? I liked the guitarist and drummer, but the lead singer had a bad case of LSD (lead singer disease).

 

[bbh]

Mama Crockett said if you cant enjoy time alone, with just yourself, how can you expect anyone else to enjoy being with you

Same goes with trust. A valuable life lesson for the cheaters and crooks out there.

 

[BadSanta1281]

Get off of my lawn and stay out of my car!!!