Am I strange?

[Swampish]

You are right to be pissed. The treatment was not cool at all and you should have been able to play one gig with them, at least.

That having been said, not worth a friendship. You should obviously let him know how you feel, but to sever the friendship is pretty extreme and, hey, you learned new songs. Never a bad thing!

I would suggest mending that bridge, but that's just me.

 

[walksupright]

Composure when angry is challenging, but necessary, if only to preserve one’s dignity.

 

[BassDad1964]

I see a lot of sage advice here. Taking the high road. I guess I have to agree that throwing up a "Never speak to me again" put the negative back on you instead of where it really belongs. HOWEVER, I would certainly not have anything to do with him ever again. The other guys in the band, sure but not the BL. No matter what opportunity I might be missing in the future. Unless there was a real apology and soon but it looks like that hasn't happened. There are some people you don't need in your life. Recognizing who they are early is a great plus.

but that's just me.

 

[Twice19]

View attachment 4741520

Michael Corleone isn't a good example. He drove EVERYONE out of his life

 

[jbybj]

For your next “professional” endeavor, get a contract, so you’ll be compensated for your time.

 

[waveman]

Definitely a *** moment. I'd feel similarly, but not sure I'd call off a friendship over it. But I wouldn't completely let is slide and let whoever know that is a BS move after going that long. But at the same time, my experience is all is fair in love, war, and music.

I recently joined a band after not being in one for several months. They had a gig, Jul 1, and I had to learn an hours worth of material. I felt at anytime after the gig they could tell me to take a hike because after a week into it, old bass player had quitters remorse. I told them when I heard them discussing it, I'd check out now if that is what they wanted, but they needed me for the gig for reason I can't discuss, but so far, still looks like I am in That's just part of it though, the old bass player and drummer, who runs the band, have been good friends and bandmates for several years, so it would not have be a surprise at all if I was out of the band this week or two as we start to get together again.

I could go into another situation which I am disappointed about before that where I was basically given the boot over the fact the singer wanted his bass player work friend (great player, btw) in the band over me. There were some other things that happened that I may tell about some day, lol. Crap happens.

 

[higain617]

A lot of musicians are extremely immature regardless of age. I think your buddy demonstrated that.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

Now, am I crazy for actually treating a band like a business

Some would say you are. I'm not sure I fit squarely into that camp. However, if they're treating it like a business, they can't expect you not to.

expect my friends to be professionals?

Unfortunately, friendship complicates the situation. Your friend/his band made a "professional" decision and he expected you to accept it as his friend.

He can't have it both ways.

That said, in my opinion, you blew it. here's why:

I told him never speak to me again and I want nothing to do with him.

I would probably have felt the same way, but I never would have voiced it.

To be sure, I probably would never work with him again (although I'd never say "Never"), but he would never hear me express that. I'd just keep telling him "No", every time he asked.

Conversely, a year from now, if he wants to approach me again, I would tell him I need a personal service contract guaranteeing me some remuneration in case a similar situation transpired.

 

[DJ Bebop]

Composure when angry is challenging, but necessary, if only to preserve one’s dignity.

 

[newwavefrank]

Every salesman i know gets a salary on top of commission. you are strictly commission? either way for your job to be worth it the other projects make up that difference and are probably factored in. there is no job where you work and get nothing and then you say please consider me for another position if something comes up. there is no return on any investment.

You are assuming everyone is an employee with someone else signing their paycheck. I am not, nor are most of the people to whom I am referring.

 

[DJ Bebop]

A lot of musicians are extremely immature regardless of age. I think your buddy demonstrated that.

As well as himself.

 

[jnuts1]

You are assuming everyone is an employee with someone else signing their paycheck. I am not, nor are most of the people to whom I am referring.

You are assuming everyone is an employee with someone else signing their paycheck. I am not, nor are most of the people to whom I am referring.

come on man. remember he was hired as a member not a sub or independent contractor. that makes a big difference. so he would be an employee in my book. he wasn't taking a risk learning the tunes in hopes of impressing them to get the gig. he had the gig......

 

[DJ Bebop]

You are assuming everyone is an employee with someone else signing their paycheck. I am not, nor are most of the people to whom I am referring.

As opposed to this...

 

[newwavefrank]

come on man. remember he was hired as a member not a sub or independent contractor. that makes a big difference. so he would be an employee in my book. he wasn't taking a risk learning the tunes in hopes of impressing them to get the gig. he had the gig......

Everyone who joins a part time band takes a risk of wasting their time. People join bands and then get kicked out all the time. People join bands which never gig all the time. Was the reason he was given lame? Sure. Was he told the whole truth? Most likely not. He joined, and then for whatever reason they decided they didn't want him anymore. Sucks for him but it happens every day

 

[DJ Bebop]

Everyone who joins a part time band takes a risk of wasting their time. People join bands and then get kicked out all the time. People join bands which never gig all the time. Was the reason he was given lame? Sure. Was he told the whole truth? Most likely not. He joined, and then for whatever reason they decided they didn't want him anymore. Sucks for him but it happens every day

"Don't you boys know any nice songs?"

 

[jnuts1]

Everyone who joins a part time band takes a risk of wasting their time. People join bands and then get kicked out all the time. People join bands which never gig all the time. Was the reason he was given lame? Sure. Was he told the whole truth? Most likely not. He joined, and then for whatever reason they decided they didn't want him anymore. Sucks for him but it happens every day

Everyone who joins a part time band takes a risk of wasting their time. People join bands and then get kicked out all the time. People join bands which never gig all the time. Was the reason he was given lame? Sure. Was he told the whole truth? Most likely not. He joined, and then for whatever reason they decided they didn't want him anymore. Sucks for him but it happens every day

i get that stuff happens but when stuff happens that screws you over you are allowed to be mad and never work with that person again and tell them exactly why. eating a crap sandwich so you can maybe work with them at some point is crazy to me. the bass players here are gluttons for punishment.

 

[jnuts1]

i dont know why i keep double quoting

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

i dont know why i keep double quoting

What you're quoting is so good, you want to make sure people see it?

 

[bassGtar]

About a month ago, I joined my friend's band. I'm in two others, but this one is a once a month gig tribute, so fit in. I got the gig and learned the set. Practiced and everything is cool. Last night, my friend called to say the old bass player wanted back in and they decided to because he was there before me.

I got really pissed and told him that it's really unprofessional and I wasted time, gas, and effort learning the set and going to practice. I said that's like someone quitting a job, the company replacing them and then went the person wants their old job back, your give it to them.

My friend has no comprehension of what I s saying and got mad at me for being upset at what they did. I told him never speak to me again and I want nothing to do with him.

Now, am I crazy for actually treating a band like a business and expect my friends to be professionals? Any perspectives?

Not nice what he did. Not very understanding for a “friend”. Would’ve been cool if they had become a two bass band. But sounds like it is in your rear view mirror, so don’t sweat it.

 

[LBS-bass]

i get that stuff happens but when stuff happens that screws you over you are allowed to be mad and never work with that person again and tell them exactly why.

Trust me, it's much more satisfying if you just move on and never tell them anything. The music world is full of strange political dichotomies and you never know when you're going to end up dealing with that person in some new context. The less you mouth off, the greater the chances that next situation isn't a disaster.