Sorry, I thought I stated in the OP that, yes, we are using independent mixes. Mine is clear as a bell. I'm simply saying that while I can hear what I have dialed in, that mix isn't what is actually going out front, and which I am used to responding to with my playing levels with a stage mix centered sound. Sorry if I sound frustrated, but all I am getting back with many of the responses is that I don't know what I'm talking about. If you cats all think IEM only monitoring with no amps provides the same or better level of interaction, that's just simply not my experience so far.
I'm feeling your frustration. I'm going to lay out some things that caught my attention, and give you my perspective.
You: You can't hear what's FOH because you're hearing a monitor mix (and you're isolated from the rest).
Me: That's kind of the point, because even when you're doing amps and floor wedges, you're not hearing FOH, you're hearing the stage mix. For a lot of bands, this results in a lousy mix for the audience, or a too loud mix for management once you start volume wars with your high frequency deaf guitar player who has his amp pointing at his knees. Nobody in any band hears the FOH mix as it's designed to be heard, unless they are wireless and wade out into the crowd (which is useful in sound check and awesome during gig). I've tried running a house mix to my IEMs and it sucks - it's not designed for IEMs it's designed to compensate to fix the acoustics of the room. A monitor mix balanced to your needs will do the trick, once you get used to the experience.
You: I can't hear and react to dynamic changes.
Me: I think this may be a setting problem. Check the monitor mix compression and limit settings, they might be too high. You should be able to easily hear dynamic changes. You should be able to hear them better than if you weren't wearing them, in fact.
You: It feels like being ampless is giving up all control over FOH mix and tone.
Me: Yes, correct, it is. I sent a post eq signal from my BDDI but I don't mess with it beyond giving an emulated signature amp sound, so the sound guy has the flexibility with my tone to get it to sound good in that room with this band and cut thru the mix. Enjoy the freedom that transfer of responsibility gives you to focus on making the music, and let the sound guy focus on making sure your tone isn't too muddy and that people can hear it.
You: I don't have control over my volume.
Me: Also correct - you shouldn't because that's the sound guys job. Ok, part of me says "but wait, the guitar player goes louder when he solos because his dirt pedals add boost". That's probably true, and the sound person SHOULD manage that from the board. But it depends on what usually happens during solos. In my band, I take guitar solos as an opportunity to get extra expressive myself, so I boost/dirtify a little when he boosts for his solos, and I go back down when the solo ends. I've got a pedal for that. During sound check I turn my instrument volume knob up to full and let the sound guy do the rest. I make sure he sound checks the boost pedal too so it doesn't clip over the mains. That would be bad.
You: IEMs don't feel the same
Me: no, you're right, they don't. It took me the better part of about a dozen gigs to acclimate to mine, and it was a rough go because I had lots of singing parts and my instinct was to pull them out, and I had to fight that instinct. But they provide a better experience for the audience, they make for a happier venue management, and it should protect your hearing which is really important, unless you like talking to people in a busy room and thinking "I wonder what they're saying. Looks like they finished a joke - I better nod my head and smile."
