Jazzdogg
Less barking, more wagging!
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how to be miserable as a professional musician: a ten-step guide
By Robbie on June 14, 2009
1. Regard your skill set with self-satisfaction -- as rounded, complete, and impeccable.
2. Imagine that your tiny corner of the world of music is the world of music.
3. Treat the grubby commercial aspects of the profession -- poring over contracts, comparing the fine points of different distribution platforms, self-promotion -- as the province of "the suits."
4. Treat the grubby menial/muscle aspects of the profession -- driving and repairing vans, hauling gear, arguing with promoters, delivering grinning Gene-Kelly-like performances under punishing or humiliating conditions -- as the province of someone else, someone less creative and fragile than yourself.
5. Forget that anyone before you who tried to make a living in the fine arts faced any difficulties. Or that that anyone around you working in more profitable professions (lawyers, engineers, postal workers) ever made any sacrifices.
6. Imagine that the well-known saying "No matter what line of work you're in, you're always a salesman and a bill collector" (thanks to my friend Jordan for teaching me this well-known saying) is suspended for musicians.
7. Imagine that the usual consequences of exploitative sex -- social ostracism if you use it to advance your career, chlamydia if you use it as a giveaway for fans -- are suspended for social-norm-smashing and hormonally-overburdened musicians. In fact, go ahead and sleep with anyone.
8. Resent people with no discernible skill and much discernible money.
9. Take no time to reflect on who you are, what you do well, and how best to present this to strangers -- just do whatever comes to you, which is by definition art, seeing as you are an artist and all.
10. Never forget that all your failures are the doings of a conspiracy of soulless profiteers and knaves, while all of your successes were owed you.
how to be miserable as a professional musician: a ten-step guide
By Robbie on June 14, 2009
1. Regard your skill set with self-satisfaction -- as rounded, complete, and impeccable.
2. Imagine that your tiny corner of the world of music is the world of music.
3. Treat the grubby commercial aspects of the profession -- poring over contracts, comparing the fine points of different distribution platforms, self-promotion -- as the province of "the suits."
4. Treat the grubby menial/muscle aspects of the profession -- driving and repairing vans, hauling gear, arguing with promoters, delivering grinning Gene-Kelly-like performances under punishing or humiliating conditions -- as the province of someone else, someone less creative and fragile than yourself.
5. Forget that anyone before you who tried to make a living in the fine arts faced any difficulties. Or that that anyone around you working in more profitable professions (lawyers, engineers, postal workers) ever made any sacrifices.
6. Imagine that the well-known saying "No matter what line of work you're in, you're always a salesman and a bill collector" (thanks to my friend Jordan for teaching me this well-known saying) is suspended for musicians.
7. Imagine that the usual consequences of exploitative sex -- social ostracism if you use it to advance your career, chlamydia if you use it as a giveaway for fans -- are suspended for social-norm-smashing and hormonally-overburdened musicians. In fact, go ahead and sleep with anyone.
8. Resent people with no discernible skill and much discernible money.
9. Take no time to reflect on who you are, what you do well, and how best to present this to strangers -- just do whatever comes to you, which is by definition art, seeing as you are an artist and all.
10. Never forget that all your failures are the doings of a conspiracy of soulless profiteers and knaves, while all of your successes were owed you.

and I have way fewer headaches, and tomorrow I'm going to meet and perform on upright with one of my all-time favorites, rockabilly legend Wanda Jackson, and about 9 other acts from the 50's and 60's, so don't poop in my cornflakes! Bowzer's Rock And Roll Party at the Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, CT tomorrow (Friday) night at 8! (sorry for the cheap plug, Justin...you can edit it out if it's NA).