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Bass Player "No-No's" With Fines

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by mattmalley, Sep 1, 2012.


  1. mattmalley

    mattmalley Supporting Member

    Oct 31, 2009
    Los Angeles, CA
    Read some of these on a page at the Mark bass site:
    Showing up at a gig with more than one bass: $50.00
    Saying, "I used to play guitar": $45.00
    Wearing bass higher than pancreas: $35.00
    Showing up at a folk rock session with Steinberger: $100.00
     
  2. Robdrone

    Robdrone

    Jul 27, 2012
    Lancaster, PA
    I don't have a backup yet, but when my band starts playing steadily, I'll be damned if I don't carry a backup bass. I didn't "used to" play guitar. I "still" play guitar just not in a band. I've never done the other two things. So... $95.
     
  3. Does the fine for wearing bass higher than pancreas stack? Because if so, I think I owe... $350.00

    Ouch.
     
  4. Floyd Eye

    Floyd Eye Banned

    Feb 21, 2010
    St. Louis
    I'm with you. I always carry at least one back-up bass. I have always played guitar as well and I have never done either of the other two.

    Why should anyone look at carrying a back up as fine worthy?
     
  5. puddin tame

    puddin tame

    Aug 14, 2010
    Playing Hysteria by Muse before the set officially stars: $150


    I'd like to see this one imposed... usually it's a way to tell a crappy to mediocre bassist. They think hysteria is a difficult song so they believe they are impressing people.

    Double the fine if the band is not genre relevant!!
     
  6. knumbskull

    knumbskull

    Jul 28, 2007
    UK
    wearing hawaiian shirt: £25
    forgot strap, borrow one, return it soaked in fat-back-sweat: £50
    can't identify which amp is bass amp from house backline: £100 (i saw this happen)

    EDIT Hawaiian shirt is OK if you are from, or are playing in, Hawaii
     
  7. Do I get a discount for referring to myself as a recovering guitarist?
     
  8. Backup bass is a given for me, but most don't notice in the double gig bag. Usually the comment if a bandmate handles the bag is, "Man your bass is heavy!". :)
     
  9. SBassman

    SBassman

    Jun 8, 2003
    Northeast, US
    A fine for a backup bass is dumb. It should be the other way around. A fine for Not carrying a backup.
     
  10. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    Why tempt fate by not carrying another bass if you have one? I've had to use a backup.
     
  11. JWP

    JWP

    Aug 19, 2012
    $150 for agreeing to play im a believer
     
  12. SBassman

    SBassman

    Jun 8, 2003
    Northeast, US
    I'm a believer doesn't offend me. But 300 dollars for freebird gimme 3 steps or sweet home alabama.
     
  13. - $1 for whenever you miss the 1 after botching a frilly-fill.
    - $100 for playing ANY bass line in between songs just because you think someone in the audience might be impressed. Extra $25 if the bass line is a Rush bass line.
    - $100 for any fill played out of key. Extra $50 fine if all the fills played are only pentatonic and out of key.
    - $50 for each incident of inappropriate slapping.
    - $100 for setting a "scooped" EQ on the bass amp when you're not in a metal band.
    - $200 fine for changing out a bass for a similar bass between songs just because the bassist thinks the tone in one bass is better for a different song then the other even though the band's playing at a crappy club with terrible acoustics.
     
  14. I like this list a lot!
    :hyper:
     
  15. Timmy-Watts

    Timmy-Watts Supporting Member

    Nov 12, 2010
    Cincinnati, Ohio
    $100 for slapping during sound check when there is no slapping in your set.
     
  16. JWP

    JWP

    Aug 19, 2012
     
  17. JWP

    JWP

    Aug 19, 2012
    Agreed! An additional $100 for unneccessary soloing....
     
  18. In my band those are punishable by a kick in the stones.

    I have to invent profanities to describe my hatred for Sweet Homegrown Tomatoes...

    *edit* - I also have more than one bass on stage. I have one drop tuned and I also use my 5 string separately because I'm just a low talent hack.
     
  19. Hamlet7768

    Hamlet7768 Here to chew gum and rock. Still have gum.

    Jun 5, 2011
    This applies even in a metal band. If you do this in a metal band you are just setting yourself up to be inaudible.
     
  20. Timmy-Watts

    Timmy-Watts Supporting Member

    Nov 12, 2010
    Cincinnati, Ohio
    $300 for agreeing to play "Call me Maybe" or anything by Adele.