As a jazz pianist, I can unequivocally state that there is nothing I hate more, or even close to as much, as I hate a bassist who has been taught to "lay back" or play behind the beat. I come home from gigs with bass players that do that ready to do to terrible things to my dog with a fork, and I LOVE my dogs. My entire back aches, my shoulders are sore, and I feel like I've been dragging an anchor through quicksand for four hours.
NEVER play behind the beat as a bassist, drummer, or other member of the rhythm section, unless you happen to currently be soloing and backphrasing a melody. At least, not in the genres I'm familiar with.