drunk crowd member in Nashville comes up during a song and screams" do you play country and western" ???..."yes" i holler back .."we play both country AND western,,but not for you,,and not tonite"...it was an all original band that played no country no western and nothing that could be percieved as such.
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Best Lines you've heard onstage?
- Thread starter redwingxix
- Start date
Our sax player was a borderline alcoholic. One night, last set, he started weaving and bobbing onstage. I looked over at him and said, "Hey Bob, are you gonna make it ?" He said, " Don't worry, Johnny, I can drink in any key ! "
Heard at an Extreme Heat show in Austin, around 1987, as they ended a set:
"We'll be back, once we all get tatooed, neutered, and deboned."
"We'll be back, once we all get tatooed, neutered, and deboned."
I was in a roots reggae band and our singer was a pretty funny guy. The line I remember cracking the audience up was before we did a cover of "What if God Was One of Us". He asked the audience, "Well, what IF God was one of us? Then I guess he'd have to pay for parking too." Street parking was really scarce around the venue and the parking garages were way overpriced, so that was a common grumble of audience members.
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- Mar 19, 2013
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- If only I were that good....
We were about to do Take it Easy...
I get on the mic and tell the crowd
"we're about to do a song we've been working on for a long time, and I was just notified that someone named The Eagles apparently had already written it years ago"
I get on the mic and tell the crowd
"we're about to do a song we've been working on for a long time, and I was just notified that someone named The Eagles apparently had already written it years ago"
A friend uses the following as an ice breaker: "We're going to do a brand new song for you now that we just rehearsed on the way here... unfortunately, we all brought separate cars..."
We used to play for tourists on a lake cruise line in the pacific northwest. One day a passenger came up to the band and approached me, asking what part of the lake we currently on. Without missing a beat I told him, "That would be the top part." before launching into an improvised David Attenborough narration commenting on the native children on their traditional inflatable pool toys diving for chocolate bars as their ancestors did, etc. The first time was totally improvised, but it soon became a favorite line and part of the shtick. Being on a cruise line it was always new to the ever-revolving tourist crowd, but the crew got tired of it soon enough.
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Some of you may remember sitar virtuoso Ravi Shankar, playing a set of Indian music at the Concert for Bangladesh. George Harrison introduces Ravi and his group of Indian musicians. Ravi then explains they'll be playing two pieces based on Bangladeshi folk tunes, etc. There follows about twenty or thirty seconds of random notes from the musicians, then a smattering of applause from the crowd. Ravi then says,
"Thank you, my friends. If you appreciate the tuning so much, I hope you will enjoy the playing even more!"
They then proceed to play for a solid half-hour.
"Thank you, my friends. If you appreciate the tuning so much, I hope you will enjoy the playing even more!"
They then proceed to play for a solid half-hour.
Heard this at a bluegrass gig once
"You know the thing about banjo players? They spend half their time tuning....and the other half playing out of tune"
"You know the thing about banjo players? They spend half their time tuning....and the other half playing out of tune"
Went to see my friend's band play. When the singer was introducing the band, he turns to the second guitarist, who was black, and goes "on rhythm guitar we have Kim. Smile so everyone can see you". Everyone in the crowd was too shocked to react.
Steve Albini of Shellac will say "everyone singing along..... please stop". His delivery makes me laugh every time.
Steve Albini of Shellac will say "everyone singing along..... please stop". His delivery makes me laugh every time.
Sometimes before we begin a song I'll say: "We would like to apologize in advance for the following number.."
When we get requests: "We would do that song but the drummer is still trying to figure it out.."
Self-deprecation works wonders!
When we get requests: "We would do that song but the drummer is still trying to figure it out.."
Self-deprecation works wonders!
Yes, they do shake hands. In the past month, I had two musicians see us do that and commented how funny it was. One said he was going to use that line in his band now.
When getting song requests. "Sorry, we don't know that song; but, this next song has some of the same notes as that one."
We have CDs for sale. I brought my collection of old 80s CDs from home if you want to buy any of them.
When getting a song request. "We had a request for this next song from (insert name here); so, if the rest of you don't like this song, it's his fault."
"We had a request earlier but we're going keep playing anyway"
- Singer in my old band.
- Singer in my old band.
