Carrots?

[L Anthony]

Many of the posts here on TalkBass concern problems with sound, tone or feel of a given bass, or possible mods, upgrades or pedals to solve or improve those problems. In the past, many manufacturers included foam mutes under bridge covers or on the bridge itself. However, foam degrades and can become sticky and toxic. Carrots, while they are obviously biodegradable, can be cut to specific sizes and shapes, and their fibrous composition mimics the benefits of foam mutes. And, they're a quick an easy fix. So when folks include "carrots" as an option in a poll, typically it's a shorthand message for "Don't waste time and money when there's a ready and inexpensive fix sitting in your refrigerator."

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Yeah, but you get a better, more colorful tone with rainbow carrots.

 

[rashrader]

Carrots represent the options that are obviously omitted from questions containing a Poll.

 

[iiipopes]

Would this look good with a tort pickguard?

 

[Nev375]

Carrots and a bottle of whiskey! That's all you need to be a bassist. Root and 5th and mind the beets!

Perhaps a bass with a split pea pickup. You'll need that too. ...And Tort ...and flats. But thats ALL you
NEED!

...And an Orange! You'll need an amp.

 

[captainofsmooth]

@4SG FAKE NEWS!

 

[tr4252]

CARROT NOTES;

Carrots were a myth created by the British to deceive the nazis about their radar technology.

What came first, the carrot or the stick?

I remember the Great Carrot Famine. So many snowmen died tragically because they had no noses.

Diamonds are made from carrots.

Tom

 

[El_Charro]

Can’t believe I went thru all of those posts and no one posted a joke about this guy (then again I suppose it’s (sadly) not 1998 anymore):

(Don’t forget to dial 1-800-COLLECT)…

Thanks! \m/

 

[bobyoung53]

This song will explain all you would want or need to know about vegetables, especially carrots.

 

[DrThumpenstein]

Obviously, these people really don’t carrot all whether you learn the truth about

 

[Passinwind]

First, let me say - I'm proud of you.

This is the first step to a better, more balance lifestyle. Admitting that you have a problem is a vital step in your journey to recovery.

I've been contacted by many users about this issue, you're not the first one to seek medical and - may I add - professional, TalkBass advice about this horrendous and absolutely terrifying concept of - gasp - Carrots.

View attachment 4374266

Now, now - I know - this is absolutely horrible, but please be aware that there IS help.

You can always speak to me about the carrots, I will keep it strictly between us. It's called "TalkBass member confidenciality", we all sign up for this when we register an account, see?



Just go with it.

In my highly qualified professional opinion he needs more iron in his diet.

 

[Frunobulax]

Yeah, but you get a better, more colorful tone with rainbow carrots.

View attachment 4374419

Rainbow carrots are proud carrots..

 

[rylie]

you're gonna make me do this again...

 

[2112]

Would this look good with a tort pickguard?

View attachment 4374477

If I could get a bass that exact color, I would consider putting tort onto it.

Yeah... that's right... I said it. But outside this thread, I'll never cop to it.

 

[2tonic]

"Carrots" denotes apathy.........or indifference.
Not that I could care, either way.

 

[JW56789]

It's the current Official Vegetable of Talkbass, ever since the moderators cut us off about using Kiwi fruit.

 

[Winslow]

It's the happy little border crop that helps your bass garden grow!

 

[RichardW]

It's shorthand for "I don't care."

 

[Leigh Semmens]

You lot are ALL wrong!!!! It's actually a made up word by automobile manufacturers to disguise the fact that their Cars RUST! They call it car-rot or, carrot, and have convinced the vegetarians that it is good for them!

 

[dbase]

My mother once told me if I eat carrots when I'm young I wont need glasses when I get older... that was a myth.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

This was posted previously. A reality check. I reproduce it here for those too lazy to look it up:

From Jeffrey Steingarten, author of "The Man Who Ate Everything." Quote ever so slightly modified...

"Imagine that you are a juicy and attractive carrot. All around you are predators--germs and fungi, bugs and snails, birds and animals--who see you as nothing more than their next meal. You have no house to hide in, no feet for running away, no money with which to buy a gun. It's a real jungle out there, and even the neighboring vegetables covet your place in the sun. What do you do? You pull yourself together and evolve a complex system of chemical warfare."

Additional information from Stone Glasgow:

We routinely tolerate toxic chemicals in the food we eat every day. Even organic fruits and vegetables contain extremely toxic chemicals. For every gram of artificial pesticide residue we consume, we eat over 22 pounds of natural toxins found the vegetables themselves.

As an example, I've prepared a sampling of a carrot's ingredients, other than carbohydrates, fat, water, fiber, and protein, a carrot contains 371 measurable compounds, many of them extremely toxic to humans.

Listed below the ingredients list I have compiled a listing of the chemical properties of these chemicals. You'll see that the chemicals in carrots are used as sunscreens, pesticides, tranquilizers, contraceptives, decongestants, refrigerants, preservatives, soap, sedatives, and rat poison. Many are carcinogenic and toxic to the heart and central nervous system.

We are able to ingest carrots and receive a net health benefit because the poisons are found in small amounts. As you can see, carrots are anything but "chemical free."

A carrot contains:
ALANINE, ACETONE, ACETALDEHYDE, ALPHA LINOLENIC ACID, ALUMINUM, ARSENIC, ASARONE, ALPHA TERPINENE, BORNYL ACETATE, BORON, BROMINE, BUTYRIC ACID, CADMIUM, CAMPHOR, CHOLESTEROL, CHOLINE, CHROMIUM, COBALT, CYSTINE, CYSTEINE, ETHANOL, FORMIC ACID, FUMARIC ACID, GLUTAMIC ACID, HYDROGEN CYANIDE, ISOBUTYRIC ACID, ISOPRENE, LAURIC ACID, LEAD, LECITHIN, LITHIUM, LYSINE, MALIC ACID, MERCURY, METHYLAMINE, MYRISTICIN, NICKEL, OXALIC ACID, PHENYLALANINE, PHOSPHORUS, QUERCETIN, SILICON, STEARIC ACID, SULFUR, TARTARIC ACID, TIN, TITANIUM, TRYPTOPHAN, XYLITOL.