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Crossdressing and bandmates.

#41
"What I'm asking is assuming somebody in your band was a crossdresser, how would you like them to break it to you? As in I desire to do so on stage."

For me, just tell me. I'm cool with it and really don't care. If it makes you feel good, than who am I to stand in your way...;)

Good Luck!
 
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#43
Just be up front about it, it'll help ya'll see if you're a good match. I once had someone interview to be my roommate, and he said within 5 minutes of looking at the apartment, "I'm gay, is that ok?", and after being a bit startled by the directness, I said "well, yeah, sure...I'm not...is THAT ok?". I was only 22 at the time, and if I'd found that out after he moved in, I might have felt awkward, but this way it was just just a good example of how to act. He was a totally cool roommate, very clean, and always smelled nice, though he listened to terrible house music all the time. I tried to get him to at least like Aphex Twin and Squarepusher, but he wasn't diggin it.
 
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#44
ZBirdV8 said:
It's just something I enjoy doing. If you want to get weird about that's on you guys.

What I'm asking is assuming somebody in your band was a crossdresser, how would you like them to break it to you? As in I desire to do so on stage.
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Adult conversation with your bandmates as some others have suggested would be my thought as well, I don't know if that will be successful, but if it's what you desire to do being upfront and honest about it is best for all involved. If your current bandmates aren't accepting of it, putting together your own band is certainly an alternative, there are no doubt, Crossdressing and related organisations that meet in your are (we're everywhere!) and you'd be surprised how many talented musicians there are among us!

My own circumstance are along those lines, I first attended a meeting of CD's in Seattle in 1997 and have been "out" with it ever since, I'm quite comfortable in letting people know that it's an important part of my life and happiness, thus it's genuine. My band has been together for 12 years and I can't begin to describe what wonderful, fun time it's been, we have fans worldwide, have had articles written about us, been on local TV and have been accepted everywhere we've played. Two of my bandmates are Transsexuals, myself and our guitarist are CD's and our drummer is a really cool straight man and a fantastic player.
We've never, ever lost a show for being who we are, rather the opposite - we get shows for that reason. People see us play and realize it's not just a schtick, it's part of each of us that's real.

I've always liked this picture, there's a lot of people out in front of me and the band I helped make, folks are dancing and having a great time (we're getting paid very well) and in my head I know I'm really lucky and happy that I get do this.

1345428813.jpg
 
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#45
First off, I wouldn't have a cross dresser in my band. There are plenty of other musicians to choose from. I could just see how cross dressing would go over when the band plays in a biker bar or a red neck bar.
 
#46
JR Roxx said:
Anybody remember the 80s and hair metal. I'm sure I wasn't the only one making questionable fashion choices.
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Lol. A couple of years back I ran into a guy that was in a pretty popular local hair band here in RI the 80's. Apparently he still thinks he looks good in Spandex on stage. Shudder...
 
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#52
I'd have no issues with the cross-dressing, but as others have said, best to talk it out with the band mates before showing up on stage.
Obviously some people are gonna have problems with this for their own reasons and you should respect that too.
If they're not supportive then I guess it's up to you to decide how important that band is in your life and take it from there.
As TBird1958 has said, and clearly he has considerable experience of the issues, there are other options.
 
#54
ZBirdV8 said:
It's just something I enjoy doing. If you want to get weird about that's on you guys.

What I'm asking is assuming somebody in your band was a crossdresser, how would you like them to break it to you? As in I desire to do so on stage.
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That's very punk rock, I would prefer a bandmate breaking it to us on stage more than anywhere else!
 
#55
gidbass said:
That's bad a$$! Thanks for sharing! Love this song!
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Thank you!

buldog5151bass said:
@TBird1958 Where ya been?
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Getting my A%$ kicked at work, I'm so busy - today happens to be my day off. The band is playing a lot over the next month or so, that and being Queenie with all the really cool Thunderbird peeps ;)
 
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#57
I've actually seen musicians crossdress onstage a lot over the years. A lot of time it's the sloppy nirvana type of thing where they don't take it very seriously. There's a local band in my town called schmegma where every member of the band comes out in like sloppy drag. They are kind of a gag band singing songs about cheeseburgers, weird sex, and all kinds of goofy stuff. It's a fun show to watch.

In some parts of the world it's actually pretty popular in certain styles of music for example
image.jpeg
this is D from Japan and those are all guys. Heard of them because their bass player (in red) had an endorsement and signature ESP at one point.

As for my band. I wouldn't have an issue with it if any of my bandmates did it offstage. I've known all the guys in my band for at least 15 years. Some more than that. I'd like to think if any of them were into that they would have said something by now. I wouldn't want the guys in my band to crossdress onstage unless it was a Halloween show or something. I don't have an issue with folks who like to crossdress but I think all the guys in my band would look pretty rediculous and our music is more on the serious side. We can levitate though
image.jpeg
 
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#59
I've never once worried about what my band mates wear (or not) on stage so why would I start worrying about it now? It's your life, do what pleases you. As long as it was not something that would draw us an obscenity beef with the cops, I don't care if you dress like peter rabbit or Gloria from down the block.

I've always resisted the wearing of uniforms, even as little as matching shirts or outfits. It's just not for me, including matching spandex body suits in fluorescent colors under black light, something someone wanted to do once for a frat party we were working. Thankfully no one else wanted to besides the guy who brought it up so we were saved from the drama. If they wanted to do it, fine, I'm all for it, for them, but not for me. I'm there to provide musical entertainment, not some kind of stage production involving props and costumes.

Don't get me wrong, my ability to put up with such BS is in direct proportion to the dollar amount promised. Pay me enough and I'll do a tube sock costume, but I'm mostly there to provide folks an excuse to ask someone to dance, not to hold them in my thrall for a few hours.
 
#60
fhm555 said:
I've never once worried about what my band mates wear (or not) on stage so why would I start worrying about it now? It's your life, do what pleases you. As long as it was not something that would draw us an obscenity beef with the cops, I don't care if you dress like peter rabbit or Gloria from down the block.

I've always resisted the wearing of uniforms, even as little as matching shirts or outfits. It's just not for me, including matching spandex body suits in fluorescent colors under black light, something someone wanted to do once for a frat party we were working. Thankfully no one else wanted to besides the guy who brought it up so we were saved from the drama. If they wanted to do it, fine, I'm all for it, for them, but not for me. I'm there to provide musical entertainment, not some kind of stage production involving props and costumes.

Don't get me wrong, my ability to put up with such BS is in direct proportion to the dollar amount promised. Pay me enough and I'll do a tube sock costume, but I'm mostly there to provide folks an excuse to ask someone to dance, not to hold them in my thrall for a few hours.
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You don't like uniforms? Pansy!
Gert_Jonnys__svensk_546447b.jpg
 
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