If you're gonna do it, do it friggin' right!
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Crossdressing and bandmates.
- Thread starter ZBirdV8
- Start date
We still dress a little wild but switched to Wornstar clothes. Trying to forget the spandexdays. Not that I remember a lot of the 80s LOL
I would want to know immediately what I'm getting myself into. Like before the first rehearsal. Personally, I don't care what you do, but I would hate to waste a bunch of time practicing and rehearsing only to have the band split before the first show. Same thing if they wanted to wear a gorilla suit and throw feces... it has to be in the context of the show and everyone has to be on board.
Cards on the table, man. Or woman.
Cards on the table, man. Or woman.
You should be free to wear whatever you like, on stage or otherwise. But the most polite way to break it to your bandmates might be to tell them in some other setting than on stage, so as not to put them in a surprising position in public that they might not be sure how to deal with.
I think that is kinda true. However, the band is also free to say yer stark ravin' mad and kick you out of the band.
- Sep 4, 2010
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Around here musicians and audience alike wouldn't bat an eyelid, generally. I'd imagine it could be an issue with the performance space if it caters to tourists.
I think you could get away with it where I live - by the fourth set. But before that, well, I'd pack heat.
Anything like this should be sorted out off stage first. Otherwise, as long as the band has a cohesive image/vibe, who cares? Go for it.
Well, I'm in a stoner\doom metal band. The girls in that genre dress like dudes already, so aside from slightly fancier hair and maybe some eyeliner, it would be pretty hard to tell.
I guess it depends on the band and the situation. There aren't a lot of hard set rules about "male" and "female" attire in certain genres. In an industrial band or goth band there is a lot of asexual stuff happening anyway. If you are playing in a country backup band and want to wear a sundress with a fat beard, that may not go over too well. Similarly, if you are playing 60-70s standards at car shows or fairs in a mini skirt and heels, the promoters may not dig on that and it could cost the band a gig.
I personally don't care what a person does on their own time. But I also have zero tolerance for drama, shenanigans, and tomfoolery. If a band member's stage attire causes problems with the audience I'm going to err on the side of keeping the audience happy. I'm more comfortable in a pair of track pants and slippers, but I ain't gonna wear that on stage.
Who cares? Encourage them to let their freak flag fly!
This. In a band setting, there may be a time and a place where it makes perfect sense.
I understand that by some utopian ideals, everybody would be who they are, live as they will, and it would be accepted by society at large without a second thought. For all I know that will be the case someday. But in the meantime, the fact that the question was posed at all is tacit acknowledgement that there is a stigma to be reckoned with. So unless you're a band of one, the courteous thing to do would be to pass it by the others - and be prepared to accept whatever group decision comes out of that.
I'm personally in the camp of live and let live. Which means I could care less what anybody else chooses to do in their personal lives, up to the point that the decisions of others also affect me. Which means that contemplating this issue in the context of a band is, at least at this point in our social evolution, a separate matter from individual freedom of expression. Two completely different discussions.
This.
And then the decision has to be made however the band makes such decisions - votes or the BL or manager or whatever the case.
whether someone cross dresses isn't my business unless he/she does it on stage, and then only in certain circumstances - say if you often play in biker bars, dive bars or serious country bars - or if the look isn't good, but i'd want to talk with my non-cross dressing bandmates if their looks weren't good, too. one of my favorite live bands EVER (the pugs) had a crossdresser for their keyboards who totally rocked, and their music was crazy and really rocked. if you cross dress in private or wear panties or lingerie under male clothes, can't see why it would matter to me. you could tell me however you wanted, as it wouldn't affect me at all and i'd appreciate your trust.
it WOULD matter to some kinds of bigots, and i'd be careful about joining a band with guys like that as some might beat you severely, so please be careful!
btw, one of my fave youtube bass players is a crossdresser, and he totally rocks!
the OP didn't say he cross dressed on stage. how would you even know if you had a crossdresser in your band? many guys simply like the feel of women's underwear against their junk and don't announce it to the world.
