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Doctor's appointment at 4...can't practice at 6!

#23
I don't mean to sound snarky (like some responses you've received) but.... Has anyone just asked him? E.g., "I understand that you have an appointment at 4:00, but why can't you make rehearsal at 6:00?" This would give him a fair opportunity to explain if there really is a good reason, but call his bluff if his "excuse" isn't actually a valid one.
 
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#25
51PRI said:
As I said in post #7 this person has missed a lot of rehearsals since we've been trying to put this new band together, some health related, some not, some seem like he's just not wanting to practice, like he's looking for some/any reason not to. So, yeah, the context is that he's missed a lot, which I had previously resisted posting about.

As a matter of fact, with tonight's rehearsal cancelled it will be over two months since our last rehearsal. And since we're talking about it, our first rehearsal for this new band was on August 3, 2022 and from then to now we've only rehearsed 7 times out of a potential 26 rehearsal nights. So yeah, we've missed WAY more than we have rehearsed (not all due to this one guy, but most of them were) and we've never had rehearsals two weeks in a row.

But anyway, never mind. I'm sorry I started this thread.
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I’m glad you started this thread. It reminds me of a similar frustration situation I have, to which you may relate.

I’m in a 3 piece that’s done well for the past 8+ years. The guitarist is the BL. He’s got a good heart, but frequently suggests new projects that never get off the ground.

Current example: He launches texts and hosts meetings with myself, a singer, and a drummer in September. Everyone gets super excited. We actually got together at the end of September to see how we’d gel musically.

It went great! So we met the following week to put together song suggestions for sets. Done.

I suggest we do our homework before going into a paid rehearsal space to polish things. I suggest we do the top 15 songs. Everyone agrees.

Here we are at the end of January and he’s had a string of weekly excuses as to why he’s still not ready to work on 15, later reduced to just 5 songs. Not a surprise to me, but the others are very disappointed.

I believe he just doesn’t have the gumption to say he bit off more than he can chew from a time perspective. I’ve moved on from disappointment to ambivalence. The others are still pushing him.

Frustrating, but I get where you’re at, @51PRI. Some folks just can’t say no or back out when in over their head.
 
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#26
51PRI said:
Bandmate has a doctor's appointment at 4 p.m. but can't practice at 6 p.m. Does that seem right? It's a simple appointment, not anything very serious. I don't want to say what it is but it isn't invasive or anything that he would have to be anesthestized for or anything like that. A simple appointment.
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Well if it’s my cardiologist….

Seriously, if you lived in northern Va, based on normal traffic conditions appointment are plus and minus an hour and a half, especially during rush hour (3:30 to 7:30). Ok, slightly exaggerated…

On the other hand, we had a couple of band mates that seem to eat a lot of “bad fish” or had trouble due to building fires blocking the roads if you get my drift.
 
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#31
51PRI said:
Maybe so. He's been missing rehearsals a LOT. I mean a LOT. I know he has health issues but sometimes it seems he's looking for reasons to miss. Anyway, nevermind.
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images
 
#32
bass12 said:
If I had a doctor's appointment at 4:00 I wouldn't book a rehearsal at 6:00 either, unless the rehearsal space was close by. Last time I visited my doctor I had to wait an hour to see her.
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True story, I had a doctors appointment at 4pm, a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't get home until just after 7. Very frustrating. Just because you have an appointment at 4 doesn't mean you are seeing the doctor at 4.
 
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#33
bass12 said:
If I had a doctor's appointment at 4:00 I wouldn't book a rehearsal at 6:00 either, unless the rehearsal space was close by. Last time I visited my doctor I had to wait an hour to see her.
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Yes. If I had a 4:00 routine appt with my primary care doc, I'd plan on it taking and hour and a half. If I had blood drawn, I would have fasted all day, so I'm not going to band practice without getting something to eat.

The OPs issue isn't this particular case, which is trivial and not something to be upset about. It's the pattern that nobody in that "band" is taking this seriously.
 
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#34
Wicked G said:
True story, I had a doctors appointment at 4pm, a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't get home until just after 7. Very frustrating. Just because you have an appointment at 4 doesn't mean you are seeing the doctor at 4.
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So true. It's happened to me.

Another thing, I would not take my gear and leave in the car while at the doctor. Going home to load up could be another 30 mins, depending how far you live from your doctor.
 
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#35
From both working at a doctor’s office and going to doctors myself, I know for a fact that there are doctors that run way behind schedule, some of them unpredictably so.
I personally would not promise to be at a rehearsal at 6 if I had a doctor’s appoint at 4.
That said, if you think he’s been looking for reasons to miss rehearsal, then that should be the issue to address (more-so than this one isolated incident). Maybe he’s been hoping to be cut loose for missing too much. Have a chat with guy, ask if he’s still into it and share your perception. Maybe there’s something else going on that he’s yet to share with the band.
 
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#38
Goatrope said:
I’m glad you started this thread. It reminds me of a similar frustration situation I have, to which you may relate.

I’m in a 3 piece that’s done well for the past 8+ years. The guitarist is the BL. He’s got a good heart, but frequently suggests new projects that never get off the ground.

Current example: He launches texts and hosts meetings with myself, a singer, and a drummer in September. Everyone gets super excited. We actually got together at the end of September to see how we’d gel musically.

It went great! So we met the following week to put together song suggestions for sets. Done.

I suggest we do our homework before going into a paid rehearsal space to polish things. I suggest we do the top 15 songs. Everyone agrees.

Here we are at the end of January and he’s had a string of weekly excuses as to why he’s still not ready to work on 15, later reduced to just 5 songs. Not a surprise to me, but the others are very disappointed.

I believe he just doesn’t have the gumption to say he bit off more than he can chew from a time perspective. I’ve moved on from disappointment to ambivalence. The others are still pushing him.

Frustrating, but I get where you’re at, @51PRI. Some folks just can’t say no or back out when in over their head.
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+1..... guitarist I've known 30+ years is always wanting to put different projects together....,gets all jacked up about, then...meh......
 
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#40
You don’t show up, with no explanation, once for rehearsal and you’re gone. Your time is not more important than mine. In this instance he has a valid excuse. For the dozen or so other times, nope.
 

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