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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#1,061
I had to come directly to this thread when I saw this CL Ad:

"axemaster looking for new stroking partners (vancouver)

looking for 1 guitar player, 1 bass player, 1 drummer, 1 million groupies to worship how awesome we will be.

20 years of guitar rub down practice under my belt. starting playing straight out of the womb. was born with long hair wearing a maiden t-shirt.

i only like metal. 30000000 bpm right hand. if you cant keep up then throw your guitar in the trash.

videos/tape recordings on request.

i have 300 songs written. Being in a band with me will guarantee you get laid.

serious inquiries only."
​
http://vancouver.craigslist.ca/van/muc/4621671069.html
 
#1,064
I answered an ad the other day for a band here and they got back to me in a few hours. Unfortunately I had a bunch of personal issues to deal with yesterday and didn't have a chance to get back to them. Got an email today saying "thanks for the response looks like you're too busy to get back to us good luck." Gee sorry I had to put dealing with my father having a fall at the nursing home, my mother's bad hip and a migraine that kept me in bed most of the day from getting back to you within 5 minutes.
 
#1,065
BassGuyFL said:
I answered an ad the other day for a band here and they got back to me in a few hours. Unfortunately I had a bunch of personal issues to deal with yesterday and didn't have a chance to get back to them. Got an email today saying "thanks for the response looks like you're too busy to get back to us good luck." Gee sorry I had to put dealing with my father having a fall at the nursing home, my mother's bad hip and a migraine that kept me in bed most of the day from getting back to you within 5 minutes.
Click to expand...

That saved you a lot of time and aggravation. If they're so impatient they can't wait a day for an email response, just imagine what they're like in rehearsal.
 
#1,066
Winfred said:
That saved you a lot of time and aggravation. If they're so impatient they can't wait a day for an email response, just imagine what they're like in rehearsal.
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I responded and sort of put him on blast with the above info and he said sorry to hear about it. It's just some local band it's not like I blew a once in a lifetime change to join a major gig and had 20 minutes to respond. I try to be decent in my dealings with people but he came off as a little snotty and I just don't have the patience right now.
 
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#1,068
It’s never happened to me, but I have had friends contact a CL seller only to be told that he has already had offers for more than his asking price and is looking for a bid higher than the latest bid of “$X”.
The correct response to such a seller is, “Good luck.” Or none at all.
 
#1,069
Robroy said:
It’s never happened to me, but I have had friends contact a CL seller only to be told that he has already had offers for more than his asking price and is looking for a bid higher than the latest bid of “$X”.
The correct response to such a seller is, “Good luck.” Or none at all.
Click to expand...

My answer to those types is "if you're asking for bids, take it off CL and move it to eBay"
 
#1,071
60bass said:
My answer to those types is "if you're asking for bids, take it off CL and move it to eBay"
Click to expand...

My response to that kind of thing is that I was expecting to negotiate down from the original price, and I'm not interested at a higher price. There was a motorcycle I was interested in that kept popping up, and odd things happened every time. The seller finally told me he had some guy coming down from Canada who was going to give him full price even though it had an ignition key problem (I planned to bypass the ignition) and no title (pretty much a non-starter, but for a cheap enough price, maybe). I congratulated him on that and bowed out. The bike was up for sale again in a week. I didn't bother calling him.

There are idiots and shysters out there.
 
#1,072
I just HAVE to ask. Who here posted [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]?

Bass seeks musicians (Hudson valley )
I am a professional bass guitar player looking for a great band to join! I have been a professional bass player for a long long time---a long time. I have totally pro equipment; Fender "Hello Kitty" P-bass (copy) and a really loud Ampeg SVT with a bunch of the small round speakers inside it. I ONLY use flat-wound strings and ALWAYS play with a stiff pick for that cool groovy sound that the hit records have.

I only have a VW bug so you'll have to pick me and my professional bass guitar rig up at my house. I really hope that is not a problem and will be totally worth it after you hear my play with all my groovy fills, licks, and good chops. (Chops is what we pros call good playing). Or, we could rehearse at my house. I always serve Kool-Aid and cookies...(let me know what your favorite flavors are...)

Influences; The Osmond's, The Partridge Family, Ohio Express, 1910 Fruit Gum Company, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, Hanas and the Montanas, etc.. Also, I can play all styles; Hippity Hopping, Rocking, Wrapping, Country, Western, Country AND Western, Polkas, Waltzes, Fox Trots, Sambas, and I especially love that new Metalic sounding guitar music with the fast notes. I would love to be in a Metalic band, or a surf band, either would be really out of sight and totally bitchen.

I can rehearse any time up until 8:00 PM as I have to be in bed before 9 or I don't get my full 12 hours of sleep which is what keeps me young and why I am able to remain so cool and keep my "good vibrations" going for so long. I can also rehearse any day of the week except Sunday mornings because I teach "notes by color" music in Sunday School for my local congregation.

If you are worried about my looks, don't be. I have a real Ringo Star wig that I ALWAYS use on my gigs (jobs) to help cover my comb-over and I never show up on a gig without being dressed appropriately. I have a very cool collection of leisure suits, Nik-Nik shirts and ties, so I can match your bands looks and colors no matter what style you prefer.

I'm really looking forward to hearing from all the cool groovy bands out there. ~~~Peace and Love~~~
 
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#1,073
someone not really sure of there age here: the map showed the same location.
how hard is it to edit an ad? Hope its nobody on here.

on the IE CL today, another gem, these 2 posts were right next to each other:

49 age bass player needs band (corona)

new to area
looking for band
open to all music ideas
would like to be part of something steady
get in touch with me via email and i will
respond asap... looking to start playing soon...


50 y.o. bassist looking for band (north corona)

i am 50 yrs old... play bass guitar...
have good gear... like original music..
can read simple or basic chord charts..
have the basics of theory down pretty good..
i don't drink or smoke anymore so not looking
for a party band... willing to join a cover band also..
send me a line and tell me what you have going on
with your music and we can go from there..
working band on the start up can be cool too...
 
#1,074
while I'm at it.

I am just all curious, do the "I need to find a band" ads ever work for anyone?
I'm just thinking that there has to be a better way.
Who has ever got a gig by posting a "I need work" ad on Craigslist?
 
#1,075
Breakneck Pace is Back and needs members!!! (West Chester, Ohio)

Ok, I'm going to keep this simple. I'm a guitarist that formed this band "Breakneck Pace" back in 2012 and haven't been able to find people to hold a stable lineup. Now I want to bring it to new light and start over. I'm 22 and have been playing for 9 years, I also sing (but not play and sing at the same time. Im working on that). I have loads of experience doing gigs, merch, marketing, and having a band. Along with connections with other bands and venues to play with and at. I also have LOADS upon LOADS of songs and lyrics to choose from to help write.

I have a full PA system, and an extra marshall half stack if needed. But I do not have a place to practice, if you have one that is appreciated and extremely helpful! And if you even have recording equipment then you are a gift from the metal gods!!
The band is Traditional Metal with elements of Speed/Thrash and Doom Metal. Think Candlemass, Iron Maiden, and Megadeth. I'm looking for a rhythm guitarist, drummer, bassist, and CLEAN wide range vocalist. The other requirements are listed below:
1. Ages 21-30
2. Have Pro Gear
3. Have Transportation
4. Smoking is fine if you don't do it excessively and you go outside to do it. Drinking and drugs are prohibited during shows and practice due to prior issues with former members.
5. Must have the chops and ability to play.
6. Have a flexible schedule (We practice Sat/Sun 2-6pm, earlier or later depending on outside issues).
7. Be dedicated and committed to the goal and to just have fun!
Thank you for reading my ad, and I hope to hear from you!
 
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#1,079
bthrem said:
De-fretting tragedy...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

A crappy de-fret job on a maple fret board is now considered relic'ing it?!? A nice bass now completely destroyed.
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I've always thought it would be fun to paint a fretboard and high gloss clearcoat it like Riks do. Metalic candy apple red, or black or white. But I'd try it on a spare neck from Rondomusic, not a bass worth actual money.
 
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#1,080
Stumbled on this one today:

"U2 tribute band seeks Bono (singer, vocalist) to assist us with some local shows in Chicago. Fests, casinos, corp events, and similar shows. Please email some info including photo and something demonstrating your vocal ability. Looking for someone that looks (or can be made to look) like Bono and same stage presence.
Preferably experience on some big stages or with other tribute acts. "

If you're doing a U2 tribute band, wouldn't having someone who can pull off Bono's vocals be the first thing you'd want? Otherwise, what is really the point?
 
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