Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

[ubermiguel]

oops...

That would be technically a spelling error not grammar or diction error...but point taken.

 

[My name is Mudd]

I like the part where he first says...

It's to bad 99% of new bands don't know what it takes to be above the rest. I do. Period.

...and then says...

Man I hate people Who think they know music.

...good to know.

 

[fraublugher]

The long and the short of it is, I'm a man and I play bass. I don't do screamo or dubstep. I have a manly ass rig and it needs to play rock, LOUD. Anything less is a disservice to such a thing of beauty. Don't contact me if your looking for some girly looking scene kid to play your (insert pointless genre with the word "core after it) music, I can grow a beard... ON MY BALLS! OK!?! These manly fingers were made to stroke the deepest of tones to vibrate your soul into a ROCK N' ROLL SEX COMA. I'm actually not allowed to play bass in 3 states now because it has been said that a single stroke of the G string causes teenage girls to become preganant causing manly babies to appear all over the place 9 months later. Pffft. Therefore, I need a Rock band to go on this magical music quest in this ****** ass town of LA to save people from this curent scene of, girly men, brokencyde fans, skinny jeans and fat girls. Let's get this going NOW. I have all the things needed to be in a band. I'm 30 yo which is actually perfect, zero drama but I don't need ben gay yet. I'm also not into "manscaping" so if I play without a shirt that night, you will be graced by my chest rug, and let's get real here, ladies dream of running their fingers through your chest hair, NOT your head, which is covenient since I'm bald - which adds to my manliness anyway.

YOU: Man or woman, I don't care, don't be dumb. Have a sense of humor and let's ****ing rock.

ps.. 420 and beer friendly. (You provide).

bands: Kylesa, Mastodon, Converge, Electric Wizard, Melvins, Red Fang, Black Tusk, Baroness etc....

 

[Mr L]

Got a laugh out of this one.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rds/bar/3163737765.html

"Looking for an ipod touch Acoustic guitar. I have a internet stick, a pail of size 8 hockey skates brand new easton, viedo camera for trade"

then pictures of some crappy camera and skates in a pile on the floor

 

[rosanne]

Got a laugh out of this one.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rds/bar/3163737765.html

"Looking for an ipod touch Acoustic guitar. I have a internet stick, a pail of size 8 hockey skates brand new easton, viedo camera for trade"

then pictures of some crappy camera and skates in a pile on the floor

Wonder what that viedo camera does....

 

[landau roof]

It's not whether you win or lose; it's how good you look.

Killer real rabbit fur Jim Morrison style black jacket size medium
in great condition, lots of fur, minimum loss of lustre or fur
75 takes it
local cash deal only can meet in hollywood
323 283 6791

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[Vakmere]

This one ought to bring lots of replys....[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Doesnt get much more informitive than that does it??

 

[rob4001va]

Got a laugh out of this one.

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rd...163737765.html

"Looking for an ipod touch Acoustic guitar. I have a internet stick, a pail of size 8 hockey skates brand new easton, viedo camera for trade"

then pictures of some crappy camera and skates in a pile on the floor

Didn't realize Apple had gone into musical instruments.
Is there an iBass?
or iGuitar?
or iKeyboard or iSynth?

personally, I love the random socks in the skate pix. Awesome. Couldn't have staged it any better.

 

[winstonthecat]

This one is pretty creepy. Check out the pictures.

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Jack White Girls (san carlos)

Date: 2012-07-27, 2:57AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Blunderbluss has me be-dazzled. I remember back; first it was Zeppelin, then, well I adored that for a very long long time, but then Michael Jackson... oh but Prince, Purple Rain - wow. Pearl Jam, Nirvana.... not many really ( I missed a bunched here), but Whites got me now. I'm thinking about covering him? I'd need 4 or 5 talented girls to do what he's foolin' wit. This sounds bad but you'd need to be fairly attractive, I mean that's part of it, & of course, be able to play. Piano. Cello. Violin. Drums. Bass. Vocals. I can do his vocals, I can play a hella guitar & lotsa other stuff.
I dunno, maybe...

 

[DeadGoonz]

Classic!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[My name is Mudd]

Translation - I've got a bass I've never seen before and know diddly-SQUAT about but A) hope that it may be rare (it has a switch, after all) and B) hope that you don't know jack about either, and therefore priced accordingly.

 

[winstonthecat]

Guitarist, Programmer or Drummer, but no Bassist? I feel slighted


INTERESTING SEXY SUBCULTURE VOCALIST..SEEKS MUSICIAN BOYFRIEND. (san francisco)

Date: 2012-07-28, 1:03PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

im interesting and the one of a kind type..i have a unique and powerful voice, im fun, complex, down to earth and very deep..i am seeking the right connection..chemistry and soul..to be with and to create music with.

im 5/4 dark hair, brown eyes, avantegarde, tattooed, sexy but oldfashioned morals and integrity. im full of polarities yes. music:: swans, depeche mode, new order, 80's, mesh, wumpscut, mazzy star, daniel ash.. etc..

im rare and i only come across a project once in a blue moon. and rarely the right guy to click with.. but i am much more into creating music when i have this type of chemistry..

so i am waiting for you.

please send me your pic, name, a link if you have of your music.....and influences/style.. etc.

im thinking a guitarist or a programmer...but im open to drummers too.. thx!

 

[landau roof]

Interesting sales point. Dunno if they're talking about the actual kit or the video game controller.

A great condition drum set that was heatedly used.

Sunday 7/29 6am-1pm

818-915-8292

23848 Killion St. Woodland Hills, CA 91367

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[nutso42]

I can also tune drums because most drummers have never heard of a drum key.

Okay, this part he has correct.

 

[landau roof]

When my feel seems off, I put the bass on the bench and set it up for a more thickened intonation. Puts me right in the pocket.

Unusual early 1970s Telecaster -style bass. Bass is marked made in Japan on the back plate, no other mfr mark. Could be be Silvertone, Teisco, National or Matsumoku. Bass has some wear from scratches, I also have the cover for the bridge (removed in the photos). The neck has a more rounded profile and has a thick intonation for in the pocket playing. The electronics and tuning seems OK. I will take $399 or best offer. Pick-up in Torrance. Email me thru this ad, Johnny

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[fraublugher]

Pick-up in Torrance eh?

cue the soundtrack to "The Shining "

 

[AciDBatH666]

I just ran across this on my local CL. I was like, "Custom hand made 5 string fretless" ? Hrmmm lemme check it out.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
5-string fretless bass - custom, hand-made - $900 (Lafayette, LA and surrounding)

Date: 2012-07-31, 8:59PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]


5-string, fretless bass. Custom, hand-made in Houma, Louisiana. Olymbic two single-coil pick-ups, weighs approximately 25 lb-30 lbs, very deep, excellent clean tone, and maintains that great singing quality found in a fretless bass. It was sold to me by the original owner. For photos or more information about this instrument, call 337-296-9720, or email me at thisisnothayden at yahoo.com

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


Location: Lafayette, LA and surrounding
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 3175993921

 

[SoVeryTired]

Wow, real Olymbic pickups? That's like the olympic version of Alembic, yes?

 

[My name is Mudd]

...weighs approximately 25 lb-30 lbs...

...and has a pic of an automatic rifle on the front. With a bent barrel tip.

 

[fraublugher]

Free dumb-bell with every purchase...