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Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

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#541
Video Game cover band seeks Bass guitarist (Orange County)

Date: 2012-07-15, 12:57AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are in the stages of forming. We haven't come up with a setlist or name yet.

We already have a guitarist, drummer, and keyboardist. Now we seek a bass guitarist between the ages of 18 and 25 in the Orange County area. Someone with a real passion for video games and their music.

Here are some games with music we're considering covering:
- Final Fantasy
- Street Fighter
- Zelda
- Super Mario
- Chrono Trigger
and some more obscure games
- Tales of...
- Touhou Project
- Random Anime

and of course more.

If you have any interest e-mail Dan at mr.siege66(at)hotmail.com or better yet contact me here https://www.facebook.com/Byrdee66. Let me know how long you've been playing bass for, the town you reside in, your favorite video game music, and your availability.
Location: Orange County
 
#545
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i have a blue/purple bass gutair brand is slvertone grate condition im the only owner of the bass, it has a hard case that has a crack in it but it still works and a 10 watt amp, it will come with a toner and a few extra strings for it. works grate, im asking $150. and if u have something to trade willing to hear all offers least i can say is no. let me know if ur intrested,
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#550
Posted on 8/2/2012 on this thread. Bears repeating.

"Guitarist is seeking regular solo gigs in high end restrooms in the Savannah area. I can play a wide range of styles from old timey to classical and olfactory to nasal retentive. I would prefer to play in multi-stall facilities in commercial buildings, looking for steady work and need money for my toaster collecting habit but my chops are like a chocolate laxative so I can be a little choosy. I have a high security clearance and my TWIC card so Ports Authority, Federal and Military latrine gigs are clear. For a small fee I will also learn disco hits of the 70s and keep my mouth shut about booger sugar usage and other stuff but draw the line at child abuse and dog helmeting. For furry parties I require a well air conditioned facility and have bunny, piggy and Hello Kitty costumes at the ready, any dry cleaning charges will be billed as an expense. If electric guitar is your preference a tested GFI outlet is required. So don't wait, soon you can have the best rest room entertainment in the Coastal Empire."

This is brilliant. This guy should write for Leno or Letterman.
 
#551
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/rds/muc/3176245540.html

We are two crazy Mofos looking for a insane Bass player without criminal records. ( drummer and guitarist/singer )
we are composing music at the same time getting ready to publish our single "can't Save us "

You will be apart of "The Regime" and given to oppurtunity to compose, perform and record with us.
dark art such as film, music and photography is what we are good at
NIN, Tool, Manson, Nirvana, slayer are some artists we like

the music we are composing is demon driven.
Must have a drivers license !!
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Found this today, hilarious IMO
 
#552
I am the best guitarist in the world, respond to this ad if you're looking for a new God!!! I've only been playing for four years, but I'm already too good for Country, Bluegrass, Hip-hop, Pop, and your mom. Don't waste my time unless you are also a God! No mere mortals allowed! Melodic Thrash/Death metal for the win, classic rock and classical a close tie for second.

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...nice arm-wrestling Jesus pic to boot.
 
#554
This bass has been in the family for years.It is in very good conditions. You won't be able to find anything like this because companies don't make this type of basses anymore. Made in USA.

Price is negotiable.

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At least they got the "Hand-Crafted" part right.
 
#555
Ladies and gents, we've got another genius on our hands.


Apparently, having been played by "one of the RAMBLERS" will triple the value of your poorly maintained MIM P-Bass with a spray painted pickguard. It's either that or the "antique case".

this ax has a very clean sound must sale dont let this bass pass you by and it come's with a antique case......(SHIPPING NOT INCLUDED IN PRICE)

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And if that's not your style, you can get this for a mere $100 more. Precisely why the Confederation seceded from the Union, btw. Thanks for the history lesson, brah.

this is one smoking ax that has 1957 pickups..... it comes with a black coffin case ....P.S. the pick guard is the old south stars an bars that stood just for the good old boys playing and nothing more .......the pic is my brother with sixx and gunn's in hollywood blvd. live .+++++++++++++ this AX is only for the PRO and you do nget what you pat for ....BUY cheep u get cheep BUY the Best tou get the Great sound

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#557
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Serious players ONLY for Tour Band (Lancaster County )

Date: 2012-08-17, 3:27PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected]

I am looking for a versatile bassist and drummer. Below is a list of things I am looking for in band mates. This is an instrumental group, if sing your more then welcome to apply (some singing in a show breaks it up for the crowd a bit). I am looking for a Stanley Clarke/Victor Wooten style bassist and a Dylan Elise style drummer.

1. Must have reliable transportation
2. Must have tour-able gear
3. Passport is a plus but not required at the moment
4. You HAVE to be able to go on the road for a few months at a time
5. Looking to practice 3-4 times a week and 3-4hrs per rehearsal
6. Must be drug free. No alcoholics! There is NO smoking or drinking at the rehearsal area; if you smoke you can do it in your car, its property rules.
7. Clean background is a must; a background check will be done on people that are considered for the band.
8. Live stage and or studio time is preferred but not required. (experienced players are a plus, but I go by ability level when picking players)
9. Being able to improvise on the fly is a MUST
10. YOU MUST want this as a career and be serious about it to be considered. This is not a hobby/weekend band.

The reason to these requirements is that this group is a professional group. Once completed there will be extensive rehearsing then booking. I do not play the bar circuit like most bands do. I only book high paying gigs, with a minimum of 3-4 a week, plus festivals. I run everything, management, booking, promoting, producing, writing, legal ends, and scheduling. If you have original songs that you want to play we can do them, it just adds to the material. For scheduling, rehearsals will be set around the schedules of the players with at least 3 a week. Once a full tour is set up we will work on new material on the off days.

Prior to the first gig booked there will be a minimum of 2.5hrs worth of material. I currently have roughly 100 to 120 originals myself recorded and copyrighted plus some that haven't been recorded yet. With what ever the other band mates bring to the table and a couple covers this should not be a problem achieving in a short amount of time.

I am looking for serious and versatile players ONLY. If you want your career to be music then I want to talk to you. I am looking for players that are out of school have no commitments and no need to stay local and support anyone (you can't do that and go on the road). Players must be 18 or older. NO MINORS.

If you are still interested after reading this ad please respond with links to any audio or video of you playing that you have online. Also send your resume or history about your music career so far. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have.
 
#558
Done, you're hired! I guess it doesn't matter if he can sing or not. Naked chicks are a sure crowd pleaser

Singer for a band (i'll travel anywhere)
I'm a singer looking to join a band, I have a drummer that will come with me. We want to start a classic metal cover band, i sing DIO and Ozzy, can try other classic metal stuff, Tigers of Pan tang.... we also want to do some original songs too. Hit me up if you need a singer. :) ( FYI, i paint on naked chicks for concerts, so i can bring naked chicks with body paint to shows we perform at. )
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#559
musicians wanted philadelphia then go to craigslist (philadelphia)

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Date: 2012-08-21, 4:14PM EDT
Reply to this post
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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female singers wanted,
female located in north philadelphia is forming a band to do up coming shows, i need some exspirenced singers to sing with me. anyone who can sing al to or supranor may aply. i also need a bass player. Drummer keyboard player lead guitar player our gigs pay from $1200 TO $600 Depending on the location and crowd size. this is real business not a game to setup an audition please send me a number and name please in philadelphia ok soon as possible by the way if there are any male singers reading this ad please aply too. please hurry spaces are limited and i have my rehursal place.

PostingID: 3220494036

*Spelling and Grammar not required...or desired. I can only imagine what her lyrics are like!
 
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