Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest
- Thread starter Thor
- Start date
- Status
Not sure if this truly qualifies as dumb, but..."an early Kinks tribute band"...to play FRAT PARTIES???
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
I check our CL's musicians threads now and then, hoping to find peeps to play out with - for some-odd reason, I find this ad to be...I dunno, kinda disturbing or something with her 3rd-person ALL CAPS style and oddball use of parenthesis. I know exactly where the spot on Main St. is that she mentions and I've never seen her there, either (pics of her in the ad, if anyone's interested);
--------------------------------------------
- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -
ZELLA MARIE (visalia)
Date: 2012-11-06, 2:19PM PST
[email protected][Errors when replying to ads?]
ZELLA MARIE IS A SINGER AND SONGWRITER WHO HAS WRITTEN OVER 500 SONGS WITH WORDS AND MUSIC.
SHE IS SELF TAUGHT AND PLAYS BOTH PIANO AND GUITAR.
SHE HAS BEEN PERFORMING IN DIFFERENT VENUES AROUND TULARE COUNTY AND THE SURROUNDING AREAS FOR YEARS.
SHE HAS SUCH A PASSION FOR MUSIC THAT ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS TO SHARE FROM HER HEART.......AND TOUCH THE
HEARTS OF MUSIC LOVERS EVERYWHERE.
SHE IS WARM.........KIND.........AND VERY APPROACHABLE.
SHE CURRENTLY HAS OVER 600 FANS IN TULARE COUNTY.............AND SHE WILL TELL YOU............(THAT HER FANS ARE THE ONES
SHE HAS COUNTED ON WHEN SHE WAS HAVING DIFFICULT SITUATIONS IN HER LIFE TO KEEP HER GOING......).
SHE COMPLETELY .......(ADORES HER FANS).........AND SHE DEPENDS ON THEM TO KEEP HER MUSIC GOING STRONG).
ZELLA ALSO GREATLY APPRECIATES THE SUPPORT THAT ALL DIVISIONS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT HAVE GIVEN HER......(BY ENCOURAGING HER WITH MORAL SUPPORT......AND GIVING HER A HEARTY THUMBS UP)......THANKYOU OFFICERS!!!!
ZELLA IS CURRENTLY PERFORMING ON MAIN STREET IN VISALIA, CA. BY THE GARDEN PLAZA ON FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS
FROM 10:00 pm TO 1:30 AM
SHE IS OPEN TO TAKING PICS WITH HER FANS AND SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS........ THANKYOU!!!!!
--------------------------------------------
- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -
ZELLA MARIE (visalia)
Date: 2012-11-06, 2:19PM PST
[email protected][Errors when replying to ads?]
ZELLA MARIE IS A SINGER AND SONGWRITER WHO HAS WRITTEN OVER 500 SONGS WITH WORDS AND MUSIC.
SHE IS SELF TAUGHT AND PLAYS BOTH PIANO AND GUITAR.
SHE HAS BEEN PERFORMING IN DIFFERENT VENUES AROUND TULARE COUNTY AND THE SURROUNDING AREAS FOR YEARS.
SHE HAS SUCH A PASSION FOR MUSIC THAT ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS TO SHARE FROM HER HEART.......AND TOUCH THE
HEARTS OF MUSIC LOVERS EVERYWHERE.
SHE IS WARM.........KIND.........AND VERY APPROACHABLE.
SHE CURRENTLY HAS OVER 600 FANS IN TULARE COUNTY.............AND SHE WILL TELL YOU............(THAT HER FANS ARE THE ONES
SHE HAS COUNTED ON WHEN SHE WAS HAVING DIFFICULT SITUATIONS IN HER LIFE TO KEEP HER GOING......).
SHE COMPLETELY .......(ADORES HER FANS).........AND SHE DEPENDS ON THEM TO KEEP HER MUSIC GOING STRONG).
ZELLA ALSO GREATLY APPRECIATES THE SUPPORT THAT ALL DIVISIONS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT HAVE GIVEN HER......(BY ENCOURAGING HER WITH MORAL SUPPORT......AND GIVING HER A HEARTY THUMBS UP)......THANKYOU OFFICERS!!!!
ZELLA IS CURRENTLY PERFORMING ON MAIN STREET IN VISALIA, CA. BY THE GARDEN PLAZA ON FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS
FROM 10:00 pm TO 1:30 AM
SHE IS OPEN TO TAKING PICS WITH HER FANS AND SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS........ THANKYOU!!!!!
Just the fact that Jimi Hendrix came back from the dead to play this $200 guitar and
that they are throwing in a pick and shoulder strap to the deal, makes it so worth paying 20x it's value.
Maybe Jimi's ghost will pay me a visit too and play my Squier strat and turn it into a $6,000 guitar
...I'm hopin' n hopin'
Did you even bother to read the box before posting?
- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -
Kong Chromatic Pedal Tuner - $60 (Visalia)
Date: 2012-11-14, 10:57PM PST
[email protected][Errors when replying to ads?]
Kong Chromatic Pedal Tuner
Like new in box
$60.00 OBO
email or call/text 559-xxx-xxxx
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Location: Visalia
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID:3345383137
- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -
Kong Chromatic Pedal Tuner - $60 (Visalia)
Date: 2012-11-14, 10:57PM PST
[email protected][Errors when replying to ads?]
Kong Chromatic Pedal Tuner
Like new in box
$60.00 OBO
email or call/text 559-xxx-xxxx
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Location: Visalia
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID:3345383137
I guess the CL add didn't work, so they've moved to the bay (pretty sure this is the same one):
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Trace-Ellio...271?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2577c8a5af
As an eBay Associate, TalkBass may earn a commission from qualifying purchases.
As an eBay Associate, TalkBass may earn a commission from qualifying purchases.
Amazing. What's worse (for him) is that I'd otherwise be kinda interested in that pre, but the ad itself kills it for me...not even interested in asking for better pics, tbh.
The vaguest musician's wanted add, courtesy of Baltimore's CL:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
looking for bassist (baltimore md)
Date: 2012-11-17, 5:23AM EST
[email protected][Errors when replying to ads?]
looking for anybody right now into a range of many different things
Favorite style is older stuff but easy to get along with and trying to get things going the best i know
Need to really get out there and become something or somebody cause its an important thing to me
lets get this ball rolling
443-XXX-XXXX
Location: baltimore md
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID:3415704505
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
looking for bassist (baltimore md)
Date: 2012-11-17, 5:23AM EST
[email protected][Errors when replying to ads?]
looking for anybody right now into a range of many different things
Favorite style is older stuff but easy to get along with and trying to get things going the best i know
Need to really get out there and become something or somebody cause its an important thing to me
lets get this ball rolling
443-XXX-XXXX
Location: baltimore md
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID:3415704505
This was posted in the Antiques section (direct cut and paste):
got a record player with needel workin fine along with a cd and tape player on it text me for a picture no skam or nothing with sale recoreds with it for 30 added good deal pay 130 and get a wood grain record player along with good recoreds includein a classic beatels record from the 60s very classic worth over 500 just the recored but im letin it go for the cheep text me for picture only if lookin to buy and have the money no bs no skam
Man I gots to get that classic beatels recored that's worth over 500!! And the antique CD player/tape recorder/recored player!!
got a record player with needel workin fine along with a cd and tape player on it text me for a picture no skam or nothing with sale recoreds with it for 30 added good deal pay 130 and get a wood grain record player along with good recoreds includein a classic beatels record from the 60s very classic worth over 500 just the recored but im letin it go for the cheep text me for picture only if lookin to buy and have the money no bs no skam
Man I gots to get that classic beatels recored that's worth over 500!! And the antique CD player/tape recorder/recored player!!
This is from the Tampa Bay CL (which almost reads like this thread sometimes). I like the opening.
"To keep this as concise as I can "
To keep this as concise as I can I am looking for a guitarist (and/or bassist) who has been playing at least a few years, knows some basic music theory and has the dedication/gear to do an original EP (or maybe even album) with me. I'm a singer/ drum programmer primarily using Logic as my DAW. I have several years of experience with the ins and outs of digital recording and many years of exp. singing so I expect whoever replies to know their stuff and play on more than an $80 pawn shop knock-off guitar and 15 watt practice amp. I also do lyrics and editing, merely comes with the territory.
I live within an hour of the Tampa area, south to be exact. However, I have grown tired of the sheer amount of flakes, douchebags, druggies etc. that I've met around my city area and I'm not the most social guy ever so I am expanding my search. Please note that my main goal/interest here is in RECORDING. I am not against playing live one day perhaps but this is not going to be a "band" situation unless maybe I somehow find 2 other guys who I'm on the same page with or something like that.. but a guitar player and/or a bass player with motivation, decent gear and talent are what I'm looking for. As probably everyone on here knows, (unless you've lived under the same rock for the last century) an entire album could be recorded these days without the musical artists ever even being in the same room so I don't care about distance. You could even be in Uzbekistan or some ****** place like that, but within state lines seems ideal.
I'm in my early/mid 20's but am open to all diff. ages here. My preference is 18-45 but it's negotiable. Please also realize that I do this as a HOBBY and have no aspirations for doing music as a career. If you do then ok but again this is a recording project, not a touring/live band one. I have love for all diff/ genres and subgenres of rock/metal but what I'm mostly interested in are the following: Retro Rock; Hard Rock; Metal; Punk. I have already made an EP along the retro/hard/pop rock line of 5 songs so I am open to continuing in this avenue or experimenting more w/ punk or metal. I can also provide samples of my work to anyone so please be willing and able to send me some too. I'm not going to blab on about 5 million bands I like but some of my all time fav's (in no particular order) are: Def Leppard, Motley, (Old) Buckcherry, Stone Gods, Darkness, Ramones, Rancid, Dropkick Murphys, Sabbath, GWAR, (Old) Disturbed, Orgy, Everclear, etc. So as you can tell I have a wide range of tastes.
WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FOR:
1. Total stoner idiots who do nothing but talk about how cool weed is all daaaay broooo.... (This applies to all other narcotics too, moderation is ok but not obsession)
2. Fundamentalist Christian anuses & Extremist Muslim rectums who feel the need to preach on about their "superior" beliefs.
3. Raging active alcoholics
4. Oversensitive people (Unless they enjoy being a bit offended
5. Lazy/unreliable individuals who will take 8 months to complete 1 song and make excuses as to why they didn't have time (even though they were playing video games nonstop).
6. Entitled ******** who leech off the government via grant money and/or their parents buying $2000 guitars nearly every semester yet not even caring about playing/recording with the instrument.
7. Gingers
Note: Jk on #7, Ron Howard is the man!
And please forgive any bizarre grammar.
Also, if you're too busy chasing squirrels, talking to lizards and holding the next Les Paul you've bought with government money over a starving family's heads or if you're an anorexic potheaded wannabe neo-nazi living off your 200-500 lb whale girlfriend go ahead and skip this ad too. Additionally, if you spell like an autistic 4 year old, have an ugly acne-ridden face with giant cheeks and big puffy lips, have a brillo pad for hair, think that an X-Box pos karaoke microphone is better than the one built into an 07 MacBook Pro and say "honestly" constantly DO NOT REPLY! In fact, an hero asap bro.
Yes... THAT is some of what I've had to deal with.
So if you've made it this far, aren't all offended, are interested and want to get something going ASAP even as a strong hobby then hit me up and we can exchange samples.
I've dealt with such losers, flakes and assheads that as this point I don't care who you are as long as you're not who I just ranted on and on about. Race, sex, nationality, sexual orientation, political views, location etc. don't matter as long as you're not those specified above. You could be Hitler's relative or RuPaul, don't care. Hope to hear from some reliable people soon. Peace.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
"To keep this as concise as I can "
To keep this as concise as I can I am looking for a guitarist (and/or bassist) who has been playing at least a few years, knows some basic music theory and has the dedication/gear to do an original EP (or maybe even album) with me. I'm a singer/ drum programmer primarily using Logic as my DAW. I have several years of experience with the ins and outs of digital recording and many years of exp. singing so I expect whoever replies to know their stuff and play on more than an $80 pawn shop knock-off guitar and 15 watt practice amp. I also do lyrics and editing, merely comes with the territory.
I live within an hour of the Tampa area, south to be exact. However, I have grown tired of the sheer amount of flakes, douchebags, druggies etc. that I've met around my city area and I'm not the most social guy ever so I am expanding my search. Please note that my main goal/interest here is in RECORDING. I am not against playing live one day perhaps but this is not going to be a "band" situation unless maybe I somehow find 2 other guys who I'm on the same page with or something like that.. but a guitar player and/or a bass player with motivation, decent gear and talent are what I'm looking for. As probably everyone on here knows, (unless you've lived under the same rock for the last century) an entire album could be recorded these days without the musical artists ever even being in the same room so I don't care about distance. You could even be in Uzbekistan or some ****** place like that, but within state lines seems ideal.
I'm in my early/mid 20's but am open to all diff. ages here. My preference is 18-45 but it's negotiable. Please also realize that I do this as a HOBBY and have no aspirations for doing music as a career. If you do then ok but again this is a recording project, not a touring/live band one. I have love for all diff/ genres and subgenres of rock/metal but what I'm mostly interested in are the following: Retro Rock; Hard Rock; Metal; Punk. I have already made an EP along the retro/hard/pop rock line of 5 songs so I am open to continuing in this avenue or experimenting more w/ punk or metal. I can also provide samples of my work to anyone so please be willing and able to send me some too. I'm not going to blab on about 5 million bands I like but some of my all time fav's (in no particular order) are: Def Leppard, Motley, (Old) Buckcherry, Stone Gods, Darkness, Ramones, Rancid, Dropkick Murphys, Sabbath, GWAR, (Old) Disturbed, Orgy, Everclear, etc. So as you can tell I have a wide range of tastes.
WHAT I'M NOT LOOKING FOR:
1. Total stoner idiots who do nothing but talk about how cool weed is all daaaay broooo.... (This applies to all other narcotics too, moderation is ok but not obsession)
2. Fundamentalist Christian anuses & Extremist Muslim rectums who feel the need to preach on about their "superior" beliefs.
3. Raging active alcoholics
4. Oversensitive people (Unless they enjoy being a bit offended
5. Lazy/unreliable individuals who will take 8 months to complete 1 song and make excuses as to why they didn't have time (even though they were playing video games nonstop).
6. Entitled ******** who leech off the government via grant money and/or their parents buying $2000 guitars nearly every semester yet not even caring about playing/recording with the instrument.
7. Gingers
Note: Jk on #7, Ron Howard is the man!
And please forgive any bizarre grammar.
Also, if you're too busy chasing squirrels, talking to lizards and holding the next Les Paul you've bought with government money over a starving family's heads or if you're an anorexic potheaded wannabe neo-nazi living off your 200-500 lb whale girlfriend go ahead and skip this ad too. Additionally, if you spell like an autistic 4 year old, have an ugly acne-ridden face with giant cheeks and big puffy lips, have a brillo pad for hair, think that an X-Box pos karaoke microphone is better than the one built into an 07 MacBook Pro and say "honestly" constantly DO NOT REPLY! In fact, an hero asap bro.
Yes... THAT is some of what I've had to deal with.
So if you've made it this far, aren't all offended, are interested and want to get something going ASAP even as a strong hobby then hit me up and we can exchange samples.
I've dealt with such losers, flakes and assheads that as this point I don't care who you are as long as you're not who I just ranted on and on about. Race, sex, nationality, sexual orientation, political views, location etc. don't matter as long as you're not those specified above. You could be Hitler's relative or RuPaul, don't care. Hope to hear from some reliable people soon. Peace.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Tat2dHeart
Only two strings away from an attitude problem.
Wow. I think that word means something other than what he thinks it means. I'm pretty sure I met that guy once. I think he asked me out, but I said no.
We should introduce him to Tampa guy. Then, we could sell tickets to whatever they create. It would have to be a one-time event, because I'm sure they'd implode live onstage, but people would talk about it for years.
- Status
