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Dumb Craig's List Ads thread

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LOL!
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"Hi,

I'm a lead singer/songwriter (because all great singers can write songs, right?) and I'm seeking an entire band to form the most explosive speed-pop-reggae-hip-trip-hop thrashcore-grindcore-deathcore-metalcore-corecore punk-ska-jazz creation ever.

I need the following:

- Two Guitarists, one that does lead and one that does rhythm who will be able to play anything and everything in unison. All leads by the lead guitarist shall be at a minimum. It's not all about you, bitch.
- An accomplished drummer that will not argue with me, and knows his role as the guy in the back farthest from the front of the stage that keeps the beat going. I do not want to have to fight you. You beat on things for fun. Being mute is a plus.
- Your standard bass player that will on occasion, throw out a vowel or two during the creative process, but no one really gives a **** as to what a bass player has to say anyway. Chances are your bass work will not be heard in the final mixes of our demos. If this hurts your feelings, see drummer for emotional tampon.
- Previous unsuccessful material that I can critique.

Please Note: All musicians that are interested must have expensive, QUALITY gear, their own transportation (public is ok), must be punctual (that means on time, drummers), and most of all, be great. You must also have rehearsal space already lined up, as well as PA equipment. Being the singer, I will show up prepared....to sing.

SERIOUS INQURIES ONLY PLEASE! Don't waste my time like I just wasted yours. "

genlemen i present to you king d-bag, i would be money he cant sing a note either
 
Two Bass Cabinets for sale. First one has 1 x 15" 400w EV driver, the second has 4 x 10" (200w total) HH drivers. Both cabs have been modified (they wer actually one cabinet before). They don't look pretty (one of them has no vinyl top) but they still solid and sound great. I don't use them anymore and I want to make space in the basement.

$175 for both cabs!

Took me a minute to realize what was happening here. Some guy cut his cab in half! I wonder if he did that to make the price more appealing? :)
 
DIRTY BLUES BASS NEEDED (north county)
Date: 2010-03-31, 11:13AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for a kick-ass blues bass player that can REALLY play. Tired of all the hacks and wanna be players out there wasting our time. PLEASE know your **** or dont reply. If you can play and want to jam with other REAL musicians in a great blues band then please contact us. Age unimportant, we are 30's somethings and we dont care about drinking or smoking, all we care about is playing with someone as a power trio who can pull their weight.


Generally conceited and conceitedly general (sort of worked, give me a break).

This seems to be the theme: annoyingly demanding and unsure of what they want.
 
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Custom Electric Guitar with a problem - $45 (Delaware, Ohio)
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Date: 2010-04-01, 1:25AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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This listing is for a custom guitar that was given to me by a friend awhile ago. I have tried very hard to identify it, but it matches no descriptions for known guitars, and the Floyd Rose was obviously installed after-market, meaning that some work was put into this piece. It also has a really awesomely designed body/finish.

There is a problem with it, however. Just recently, after allowing a friend to borrow it for a night, I started experiencing an odd problem that caused two inconveniences. For starters, the strings were way off the fretboard toward the bridge (Body), but they make contact with the first frets, meaning that the strings buzz when played open. Because of this, it is quite unpleasant to play, but it IS playable. I am assuming that the neck is bowed inward, which would cause these problems. There are also some -slight- dings (Chips to the paint) on it near the neck, but they aren't terribly noticable, and can be considered normal road wear.

That means that the problems should be relatively easy to fix (The most it could possibly require is a new bolt-on neck), but I don't really have the time or money to do it. I am hoping that someone else will pay a reasonable price for this otherwise awesome instrument, with the intent of repairing it.

Please refer to the photos and email me with any questions, as well as instructions if you wish to purchase it. Also, if anyone can actually identify it (Or even just the neck, which says 'Series 10' on it), I'd be extremely interested in knowing.


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So...you can't identify it, despite having the brand name on right there on the headstock?
And you're selling it because it needs a truss rod adjustment?
 
This is probably making the rounds, but the tone is so spot on that it seems worth sharing:

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There is a void in the San Francisco cover/tribute band circuit in need of filling. Do we really need another all girl AC/DC / 80's / Disco combo? Additionally, the musical realization of JRR Tolkien's Middle Earth has recently been poorly represented at the hands of Peter Jackson. Do you really think after spending over 10 years creating an entire mythology from the ground up Tolkien would want some p*ssy **** like Enya as the soundtrack?

As far as a line up goes I'm thinking about something very similar to the actual original fellowship. 2 Humans, 1 Elf and 1 Dwarf. I know what what you're thinking, what about the Hobbits? Well I've thought long and hard about this. Having Hobbits in the band will be cost prohibitive. Half-lings or "little people" get tons of work doing acting gigs and fetish parties and stuff and as a result want some serious cash for their talents. Trust me, I've looked into this.

On the flipside I'm not adverse to the idea of having a wizard in the lineup. It shouldn't be too hard to find a taller guy and it would be pretty kick a** to have Gandalf the Grey for the first set, have him "fall into darkness" then become Gandalf the White for the second set...**** yeah! So make that 2 Humans, 1 Elf, 1 Dwarf, and ****ing Gandalf!

We'll need to augment the band with a killer crew. Hair, makeup, sword maker, catering and PA's (someone's got score some ale and pipe-weed from the Shire...LOL!) .

Before the line up (fellowship) is formed we'll need to sit down and come up with a sound and vision that really captures the Tolkien vibe. I know Robert Plant made some vague references to Mordor, the Misty Mountains and Gollum and what not, but we need to make this a hell of a lot more authentic than that. Hell, I'm thinking of having half the songs in Elvish!

So this is an open call to all musicians/L.O.T.R enthusiasts. Only the most dedicated need apply. No druggies! No flakes!
 
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First this was listed as a Fender for 475. When it was pointed out to the poster that it was in fact a Squier, he changed the ad--but is now charging 400, and "they go upwards if 500" even though someone linked to MF and the 279 price.

Not all people from RI are morons, but we do have a lot here. Enjoy the ad while you can! I'm sure it will go fast!

i have a beautiful fender jazz bass that i need to sale. i have no time in the week to play due to college and i would love to sell it somebody that can use it. i would hate to see this bass just sitting in its case all day.
this bass goes for upwards of $500

this bass is new!
perfect condition besides a few marks on the pick guard

price is 400 obo

call or txt me at 401 290 8140 id be more than willing to set up a time where u can try it out.

steve.

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Nope - maroon body, rosewood and fretted. It is a real Fender, BTW - he sent me a pic of the headstock w/serial number clearly shown - it's a 91-ish, according to some site that said they knew what they were talking about.

- edit - I still have the pics...should I send them to you?
 
Nope - maroon body, rosewood and fretted. It is a real Fender, BTW - he sent me a pic of the headstock w/serial number clearly shown - it's a 91-ish, according to some site that said they knew what they were talking about.

- edit - I still have the pics...should I send them to you?

Are you going to buy it? (I could sure use a P Bass.) Maybe I should phrase that "Let me know if you don't buy it."

yes please, send pics. best maybe to PM them.
 
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