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Dumb Craig's List Ads thread

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#901
Kenny Allyn said:
This one may actually appeal to some ... and you know who you are!

Drunk bass player needed (maine)
________________________________________
Reply to:[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-03, 7:53AM EDT

Are you a heavy drinker ? Do you like to hang out in bars and pick up women? Can you hold up a bass guitar? Than we need you. Looking to replace our current bassist and bring some new flair to the band. You need to :1.Drink alot 2. love to chase girls around at shows 3. bring alot of attention in a negative fashion our way and 4. play some bass
If you can meet these requirements than your in. Come see us july 4th at Grittys LA brew pub before and after the fireworks
• Location: maine
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1151631869

:eyebrow: ...
Click to expand...

looks like someones trying to reserect sid vicious
 
#902
He's at it again...

There's been an ad running here off and on for a few weeks now...a fretless Squier Jazz VM issue and a Roland Cube amp for $350. The Brand Nzai finally found that ad, apparently... - edit, a few moments later...[Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

Date: 2010-03-21, 1:42PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hi,

I'm looking to buy a FENDER fretless bass amp. (If I wanted a P.o.S. like the Squier that I see getting re-listed every three days on here, I would put strings on what's in the toilet. Seriously dude, nobody's gonna buy your garbage if you keep trying to market it as a Fender. You would do better to be completely honest about your stuff instead of hoping that someone's gonna fall for it and actually give you what your asking for it. Even in immaculate condition, your Squier depreciated the second after the receipt finished printing. You sicken me because you think you will actually get $350 out of your rig and you keep cluttering up Craigslist. Having been in the used instrument business for about 20 years now, you can expect to get the following: Used Squier bass in 10/10 mint condition = $150. Used Roland 30 Bass Amp in 10/10 mint condition = $80-$100. This is not what they will be priced at, but what people typically pay for this stuff. Furthermore, comparing it to a Pedulla is just wrong, man. You either bought this stuff and discovered that you had no capacity for bass or you just think you can throw up a web link for reviews and throw in a random comparison. It's no different than me listing a 1984 Chevy Nova and saying "It's just like a 1969 Camaro, only it costs a few thousand less." It's completely asinine because anyone who even has an idea what a Pedulla is wouldn't be caught dead holding a Squier in their hands.)

If anyone out there has an actual FENDER fretless bass and a bass amp of at least 100 watts, let me know.

Location: Visalia, CA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1654633398


- edit again to ask just what a fretless bass amp is?
 
#906
Top American Pop Star Available To Perform (Australia)
Date: 2010-03-10, 1:49PM EST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

For low rates, you can get a star to perform and make the crowd go crazy and wild. His voice alone excites many and his dance moves are compared to Michael Jackson. He is a brilliant performer. And a gorgeous young man signed to an American major recording label. He has been on countless magazines and he is available to perform in this region. You won't be disappointed. Please forward relevant information and contact information

* Location: Australia
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1636857897

Sureeee.
 
#907
An ad from this morning:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

"We're an industrial group looking for new members! As of now, we are a male singer (me), a female singer, a guitarist, and a "mannequin constructionist" who makes mannequins, and makes them do crazy s**t at teh shows!
We need a new drummer and a new bassist!"

That's the first part of the ad. I find myself both repelled and a little puzzled by this ad. But mainly I find it kinda creepy.......
 
#909
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Fender Persicion Costum Shop - $5999 (Cols ohio)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-03-26, 11:02AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I have a Fender Persicion base that I want to sell. It is a old one made by Fender Costum Shop in the 1960s and its prety freaking sweet base! A guy give it to me cuz he owd me sum money he had it in the box in his closet sense he got it so its still realy realy nice. They call these closet cases cuz they was kept so nice in some dude's closet.

I had it looked at by a pro base guy and he said it was a 100% legit vintage Fender base. I dont realy paly base tho so I'm sellin it to you!

Lots of famus ppl play Fender Persicion bases who no's, maybe if you play this base, you will get to be famus to!

The picher look just like the one I got. I dont got the box for it no more tho, my dog peed on it. If you want, you can have the dog to! lawlz :p


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
 
#912
Alternate Translation: I took this from a guy that owed me drug money, right after I busted a cap in his foot and told him he still owed me the full amount, or the next cap would be between his blue eyes.
 
#913
Why am I picturing the seller looking something like this?

EMO.1.jpg
 
#914
I'll be damned, another local TB'er...

That ad has been running for a few months now, it seems. Been asking $350 the entire time. Posts every two or three days.

My name is Mudd said:
He's at it again...

There's been an ad running here off and on for a few weeks now...a fretless Squier Jazz VM issue and a Roland Cube amp for $350. The Brand Nzai finally found that ad, apparently... - edit, a few moments later...[Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

Date: 2010-03-21, 1:42PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hi,

I'm looking to buy a FENDER fretless bass amp. (If I wanted a P.o.S. like the Squier that I see getting re-listed every three days on here, I would put strings on what's in the toilet. Seriously dude, nobody's gonna buy your garbage if you keep trying to market it as a Fender. You would do better to be completely honest about your stuff instead of hoping that someone's gonna fall for it and actually give you what your asking for it. Even in immaculate condition, your Squier depreciated the second after the receipt finished printing. You sicken me because you think you will actually get $350 out of your rig and you keep cluttering up Craigslist. Having been in the used instrument business for about 20 years now, you can expect to get the following: Used Squier bass in 10/10 mint condition = $150. Used Roland 30 Bass Amp in 10/10 mint condition = $80-$100. This is not what they will be priced at, but what people typically pay for this stuff. Furthermore, comparing it to a Pedulla is just wrong, man. You either bought this stuff and discovered that you had no capacity for bass or you just think you can throw up a web link for reviews and throw in a random comparison. It's no different than me listing a 1984 Chevy Nova and saying "It's just like a 1969 Camaro, only it costs a few thousand less." It's completely asinine because anyone who even has an idea what a Pedulla is wouldn't be caught dead holding a Squier in their hands.)

If anyone out there has an actual FENDER fretless bass and a bass amp of at least 100 watts, let me know.

Location: Visalia, CA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1654633398


- edit again to ask just what a fretless bass amp is?
Click to expand...
 
#916
[OT]

Looking at that vintage "base", always try these keywords to find ads from desperate chumps wondering "why don't they call?":

- base OR base guitar
- peavy
- aguliar
- marshal
- guitard
- startocaster
- perl

etc... etc...

It works even better on CL, as CL does not use smart search and only look for full names.

I scored my 83 Foundation and 82 T-40 for $300 (both with Peavey cases) last year when looking for "peavy". Dude had the ad up forever and was eager to sell.

[/OT]
 
#917
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

CO Musicians: our local biz videos would love to have your music (Denver & Boulder areas)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-03-26, 1:15AM MDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


We showcase local businesses through engaging videos.

Since our mission is to help support local businesses, we thought why not give local musicians exposure as well? So, this is an opportunity to be heard.

Well... since I posted this. I got the nastiest email from someone. It's very disheartening to think that people think this way... so forget it. What's wrong with people? I had an ad up asking local musicians if they'd like to be featured on a video to help give them exposure. It would be a win/win as it would give nice background music AND give exposure to someone local rather than someone doing jingles in LA or somewhere. Very innocent and truly wanted to help local musicians. BUT...this a response from a local artist named Jason Cameron. I hope he enjoys reading his terrible words.


From: Jason Cameron
I don’t mean to crap on your parade, but your ad sucks so bad that I feel COMPELLED to call a turd a turd. Apparently, you are some sort of marketing company that is offering in the most off-handed way to USE an artist’s music FOR NO COMPENSATION other than “Exposure” in an advertisement FOR YOUR ULTIMATE BENEFIT!

I can’t begin to search for the root of the evil that spawned your idea to exploit poor, starving artists with the promise of absolutely nothing but the hope of becoming a “household name” through the sales of your crappy products. It’s Stone Soup, except that there are no vegetables and no nutritious values. You are selling crap, and you want poor musicians to hang their hopes on your crap. &*^#^ YOU!!! YOU SUCK!!! $%&* MY #@!*!!! I really hope you end-up homeless and alone. I hope you die alone under a bridge. I wouldn’t give you the sweat off my balls. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. #$&* YOOOUU!

Eat a dick,

MrZ

PS. I really meant to crap all over your parade.
 
#918
MrTAteMyBalls said:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

CO Musicians: our local biz videos would love to have your music (Denver & Boulder areas)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-03-26, 1:15AM MDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


We showcase local businesses through engaging videos.

Since our mission is to help support local businesses, we thought why not give local musicians exposure as well? So, this is an opportunity to be heard.

Well... since I posted this. I got the nastiest email from someone. It's very disheartening to think that people think this way... so forget it. What's wrong with people? I had an ad up asking local musicians if they'd like to be featured on a video to help give them exposure. It would be a win/win as it would give nice background music AND give exposure to someone local rather than someone doing jingles in LA or somewhere. Very innocent and truly wanted to help local musicians. BUT...this a response from a local artist named Jason Cameron. I hope he enjoys reading his terrible words.


From: Jason Cameron
I don’t mean to crap on your parade, but your ad sucks so bad that I feel COMPELLED to call a turd a turd. Apparently, you are some sort of marketing company that is offering in the most off-handed way to USE an artist’s music FOR NO COMPENSATION other than “Exposure” in an advertisement FOR YOUR ULTIMATE BENEFIT!

I can’t begin to search for the root of the evil that spawned your idea to exploit poor, starving artists with the promise of absolutely nothing but the hope of becoming a “household name” through the sales of your crappy products. It’s Stone Soup, except that there are no vegetables and no nutritious values. You are selling crap, and you want poor musicians to hang their hopes on your crap. &*^#^ YOU!!! YOU SUCK!!! $%&* MY #@!*!!! I really hope you end-up homeless and alone. I hope you die alone under a bridge. I wouldn’t give you the sweat off my balls. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. #$&* YOOOUU!

Eat a dick,

MrZ

PS. I really meant to crap all over your parade.
Click to expand...

Mr. Video-biz guy got what he deserved. The language was strong but he needed to be told. "Local" musicians work just as hard on their instruments as anyone in LA or elsewhere and deserve to be paid.
 
#919
LOL!
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


"Hi,

I'm a lead singer/songwriter (because all great singers can write songs, right?) and I'm seeking an entire band to form the most explosive speed-pop-reggae-hip-trip-hop thrashcore-grindcore-deathcore-metalcore-corecore punk-ska-jazz creation ever.

I need the following:

- Two Guitarists, one that does lead and one that does rhythm who will be able to play anything and everything in unison. All leads by the lead guitarist shall be at a minimum. It's not all about you, bitch.
- An accomplished drummer that will not argue with me, and knows his role as the guy in the back farthest from the front of the stage that keeps the beat going. I do not want to have to fight you. You beat on things for fun. Being mute is a plus.
- Your standard bass player that will on occasion, throw out a vowel or two during the creative process, but no one really gives a **** as to what a bass player has to say anyway. Chances are your bass work will not be heard in the final mixes of our demos. If this hurts your feelings, see drummer for emotional tampon.
- Previous unsuccessful material that I can critique.

Please Note: All musicians that are interested must have expensive, QUALITY gear, their own transportation (public is ok), must be punctual (that means on time, drummers), and most of all, be great. You must also have rehearsal space already lined up, as well as PA equipment. Being the singer, I will show up prepared....to sing.

SERIOUS INQURIES ONLY PLEASE! Don't waste my time like I just wasted yours. "
 
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