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Farting during a show

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#201
Well...I've got a few comments here, lmao...I've read this whole thread like 4 times...The "fart-a-caber"...We always called them PiGGs(Primitive Gas Grenades)...I've got a nice Blue Angel story...

About 4 years ago, I had my guitarist and my Drummer over at my house, chillin out and watchin TV...When my drummer jumps up and yells "Holy Crap...I gotta pi$$!" and before he gets out of the door, my guts rumble like an F# through a 21....And I say "Dude, Hold up....Chris, gimme a light." I proceed to light this window rattling THICK raunch-filled ass bubble...Which shoots a nice fireball...like a fire eater...And because of the thickness...It sticks to my thin boxers...and they're burning...Whilst I'm slapping the fire(much to the chagrin of my technicals, which throbbed badly for about 25 minutes)...He laughs hard enough that his bladder releases its contents...and he pisses his pants...starts with a dot, and then turns the entire left leg dark.... Needless to say...anytime I'm around him and I decide to light one up, I ask if he would like to head to the piss-pot...LMAO

This is the BEST THREAD EVER!!

LMFAO



DWB
 
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#203
Christmas time, when the whole family comes over to enjoy some cheddar potato soup.

My crazy grandma on the customary tour of my cell loaded her diaper, cocked it out of the chamber, then loaded it again.

Month old Cabbage soup

It was the worst. But it got a whole lot worse. Somehow, it survived in my room the entire day, And grandma bieng the first one there, I had to lead every subsequent family member through the room (they all wanted to see my adjoining workshop) to the tune of sour faces and green cousins. They all think I go under the bed now.

It's said if you concentrate real hard, you can still smell grandmas funk, hiding out in the air, vent waiting to burst out and devour us all.
 
#204
Having yer Granny open her lunch in yer space has got to be traumatizing.


Personaly, I take full advantage of parental wind breaking privilages.

I remember when my son went to Gymboree on Saturday mornings and daddy had perhaps indulged in a few Bud's the night before.

Dropping hot ones was never easier seeing as usually, at least one of the toddlers would load their Huggies per class. LOL!

Watching newer mom's stroll by a play area and ask Bobby if he poo'ed ( :scowl: Bobby!) was well worth it.
 
#205
Grunger said:
I like to finish my scales by farting(C-D-E-F-G-A-fart-fart :) :) )

Once,when i was at school we were doing some boring physics(sp?) test and everything was quite...In the midle of the test my friend farted so loud that there were no ways to conceal it :) :) Eveyone started to laugh including my teacher who couldn't actually stop laughing :) :) :) :) :)
Click to expand...
I have a friend that does the same thing, consistently. Unrelated, I also know a guy that does that, except with a perfect, and loud, wookie call. best english tests ever.

I heard some guys talking about how at a gig they hang air fresheners on their cabs, so when they really thump a note the audience (or anyone nearby) gets a whiff of vanilla or mountain trees.
So, I took it upon myself to try it out, but with something a little less fragrant. It works. Just try ripping one a little before the beat...damn! Stanks up the whole stage and the first few seats.
 
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#206
_dusty_ said:
In my Classical Mechanics class, the professor was fond of giving very long tests, and usually one class period (90 minutes) wasnt long enough to finish them. So, he always scheduled a 3 hour period from 7-10pm on Monday nights when we took our tests, to give everyone enough time to finish. Usually the building was deserted at this time.

One such Monday, about 2 hours into the test, we overhear a conversation from an adjoining (empty) office through the AC vents in the roof. It went something like this:

Guy: "How about in here, I dont think anyone uses this office"
Girl: "Ummm, I dont know.....what if a cleaning lady finds us or something"
Guy: "Everyone went home hours ago, dont worrry about it"
Girl: "Ok, I guess this is alright"

The test is interrupted by snickers from the class (probably 8 guys and 2 girls). But we soon resume working on the test, regardless of the hookup occuring next door. After a few more minutes it starts to get hot and heavy, and they are both moaning and groaning pretty loud. Everyone stops working on their tests and starts to chuckle.

30 seconds later the guy rips an enormous fart. So loud we could hear it through the wall, above all the panting and grunting. The girl's yell of "OH MY GOD YOU JUST FARTED ON ME" are nearly drown out by 10 students and 1 teacher simultaneously falling on the floor laughing in tears.

Needless to say, we got a 30 minute extension on the test because of violent fits of laughter. Definately one of the funniest moments of my entire life.
Click to expand...


I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE!!!! :p :p :D
 
#207
what a thread and i just let a time bomb go so I gotta make this post quick otherwise im gonna suffocate myself lol. What a thread ill say it again what a thread 3 times now but this is a great thread, i havnt read all 11 pages but i dont think i need to. But yes farting in a show is good, also farting at work while dealing with customers is also a laugh as they dont know what has hit them lol
 
#211
Was in Ohio last week with the owner of our comapny. We went for a few ales and a steak dinner Monday night. Tuesday morning we had a meeting with a huge client.


I was sweating from holding in the red meat/dark ale farts I had brewing. We went out to their shipping dock which was nice and noisey. That was the only place I could eleviate the pressure.

I'm pretty sure I got away with about 7 or 8 huge farts out there. The only thing that could have possibly given me away was my eyes rolling back in my head, my mouth slackening from sheer relief and a breathey "aahhhhhh" with each fart.

Left a couple of racing stripes in the FOTL's, too. :eyebrow:
 
#212
Barfly said:
Was in Ohio last week with the owner of our comapny. We went for a few ales and a steak dinner Monday night. Tuesday morning we had a meeting with a huge client.


I was sweating from holding in the red meat/dark ale farts I had brewing. We went out to their shipping dock which was nice and noisey. That was the only place I could eleviate the pressure.

I'm pretty sure I got away with about 7 or 8 huge farts out there. The only thing that could have possibly given me away was my eyes rolling back in my head, my mouth slackening from sheer relief and a breathey "aahhhhhh" with each fart.

Left a couple of racing stripes in the FOTL's, too. :eyebrow:
Click to expand...






I think you need to see a doctor.
 
#213
One time me and "some of the guys" were hanging out with some buddies and my friend told me about the "fart in the cup." Of course, I never thought it'd work, until he pulled it out on me. His were fowl in the cup, so I tried one (wicked good farts, here) and he smelled it. He almost gagged. Then we got the bright idea to combine our farts in a cup.

So he did "the deed" in the cup and I did "the deed" in the cup afterwards (quickly cupping it between gaseous intermissions to keep the smell.)

So we had a friend who was asleep on the floor. We tapped him on the shoulder, stuck the cup on his nose, and he got up and ran to the bathroom. Moments later we heard profuse barfing.

now that's pride, baby.
 
#219
VRT_RONBO said:
I am so glad you bumped this thread. I just read the whole thread again (at work).:smug: Well I am sitting here pretending to be doing important stuff when I chuckled and let loose a chair rattling biscuit that got the attention of my collegues. Hmmmm, must be the leather on the chair.:eyebrow:

Awesome thread.
Click to expand...

(...from elsewhere in NC)

...so THAT'S what that smell was...

:eek:
:spit:

RETURNING FIRE!!!

:ninja:
 
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