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Farting during a show

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#241
RicPlaya said:
..................I hear this "Brrrwaaaaarrrrrppp" echo off the cold aluminum seat from my brother's boat. That was funny enough to hear this ripping fart from 50 yards away...but what was even funnier was a duck "quacked" back with the same pitch and duration as the fart..in fact it was creepy how close the quack sounded to his fart. If there any duck hunters out there we rent him out by the hour!
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That's classic!

I love those rippers where you scare one of the pets, or at least make the dog give you a funny look.
 
#243
My drummer knows when I'm crop spraying during a gig. I walk towards him with a smile during a song, turn around and put my back to him. When I've laid a wreath, I smile back at him and leave that area of the stage. He gets really torqued out about it. He really hates it.

I do it every gig. He deserves it. He's a drummer. He can't move.

I once left a five pound toilet trout in the can at a gig once. He was banging at the door to use the toilet. I didn't bother to flush. He almost vomited.
 
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#244
bmc said:
My drummer knows when I'm crop spraying during a gig. I walk towards him with a smile during a song, turn around and put my back to him. When I've laid a wreath, I smile back at him and leave that area of the stage. He gets really torqued out about it. He really hates it.

I do it every gig. He deserves it. He's a drummer. He can't move.

I once left a five pound toilet trout in the can at a gig once. He was banging at the door to use the toilet. I didn't bother to flush. He almost vomited.
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A wreath!!!!!:lol:
 
#246
You guys have inspired me. I am going to spend a few days getting ready to clear the stage at my next show. We like to play pranks on stage anyway.

BMC- love your choice of language. You are a poet as far as this thread is concerned.
 
#247
chaosMK said:
You guys have inspired me. I am going to spend a few days getting ready to clear the stage at my next show. We like to play pranks on stage anyway.

BMC- love your choice of language. You are a poet as far as this thread is concerned.
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...why....why, thank you (blushing with pride)
 
#248
Ate a bunch of boiled cabbage and garlic at lunch today (Chinese food!). Fought with my GF last nite and nite before, so all I have to do to arm my weapons system is add one (1) beer- then it's all-out nuclear Dutch Oven sliders tonite! It's already primed, I had to use "system pressure equalization" to avoid a potentially deadly backpressure situation. Small, controlled releases in the relative privacy of the warehouse yard...they were definitely ripe! Will be riper as soon as I get home and have a Clausthaler...:eek: :D :D :D
 
#249
man...13pages of farts and growing!beer makes some of the worst smell!once on tour while i was sleeping i just burst one out and woke up with the rest of the bands bitchin about it being the worst smell ever!the next morning on the bus back home there was a fart battle the hired driv er was shocked specialy when the keyboard player goes near the slleping guitar player and lets it rip!the poor guy wakes up and just says dont lok at me!i didnt do it!
 
#250
I was last one in to the Indian restaurant this evening, following my teenage daughters, wife and neighbor. I had that slightly bloated, why not let a good off kinda feeling. It was great. Nice loud. Long finish. Dry. I like those. Nobody heard it. They were inside and I was holding the door.

Any of you guys ever fart on your wife at night? I did it about three nights ago. I woke up immediately as I realized what I had done. She didn't wake up at all. We both nekked. I wonder if I left a stain.
 
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#251
'Toilet Trout' that was good. I'm in the fish business, I'll
find a use for that.

I am also inspired by this thread. I was in the office kitchen
and felt lunch percolating. I fired off a silent but deadly
WMD nerve gas kind of cloud and slipped next door into the bathroom to
crank out a free sliding chub. Fortunately, I was able to grab the
latest Playboy on the way by the sink cabinet so I could relax
and catch up on my reading. About 5 mins later, the company
CEO goes in there and I could hear a string of OMG ***
curses that I can't repeat here. Got him good, he has been a
yerkoff all week. I will have to lay a few more bombs for him.
Got him good that time.
 
#252
I used to play with this pianist who would be in the middle of a burning solo, climaxing all Keith Jarret like, and then suddenly the stage would smell like turd for the rest of the set. I don't think it was a fart but was actually the real thing. I couldn't gig with him anymore after the second time it happened.
 
#254
Thor said:
'Toilet Trout' that was good. I'm in the fish business, I'll
find a use for that.

I am also inspired by this thread. I was in the office kitchen
and felt lunch percolating. I fired off a silent but deadly
WMD nerve gas kind of cloud and slipped next door into the bathroom to
crank out a free sliding chub. Fortunately, I was able to grab the
latest Playboy on the way by the sink cabinet so I could relax
and catch up on my reading. About 5 mins later, the company
CEO goes in there and I could hear a string of OMG ***
curses that I can't repeat here. Got him good, he has been a
yerkoff all week. I will have to lay a few more bombs for him.
Got him good that time.
Click to expand...




At my last job I actually printed off a sign on my cumputer and taped it up in the stall..it read "Courtesy Flush Please". Before this sign dudes would just go in there and baste in thier own glory, and blow out the can for hours. Sometimes the fumes would woft down the hall in the office. I worked at a trucking company so you can imagine the trucker butt reaking havoc on the can on a daily basis. Needless to say it's been a year and a half since I worked there and the last report I heard a few weeks ago the sign was still in the mens stall.
 
#257
" crank out a free sliding chub."

Beautiful

1. Light a bum cigar
2. Drop the kids off at the pool
3. Big brown dog barking at the back door
4. Cut a cable
5. Give birth to a guitarist
6. Pinch a loaf
7.
8.
9.

Fill in the blanks, lads.
 
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