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Farting during a show

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#221
I just remembered another gig-fart story.

I played an open Blues jam a few years back. It was pretty crowded stage with a bunch of instrumentalists. Well, I let out a stealth bomber and stunk it up. It was hard to keep a straight face, but I did and no-one was the wiser. But the facial expressions were real funny. Add the fact that no-one knew each-other before this, and you have the recipe for a social awkward moment.

The kicker is that one of the players was was a harmonica player. In case you didn't know, the wailing Blues harp comes from inhaling into the instrument, opposed to blowing on it. I let it rip during his solo. The rest of the story tells itself....
 
#222
i've lmfaco......the only thing i can add is a recipe.....my g/f can vouche for this one

Outback Steakhouse:
order
Yuengling (at your discression but the more the merrier)
coconut shrimp
caeser salad
"outback style" prime rib (medium or medium rare) w/ either garlic mashed or the steamed veggies

granted you will end up dropping about $70US (this includes tip and whatever your date picks at) but the car ride home, dutch ovens after sex, and the whole next day are worth every penny!:ninja: :D
 
#223
jive1 said:
I just remembered another gig-fart story.

The kicker is that one of the players was was a harmonica player. In case you didn't know, the wailing Blues harp comes from inhaling into the instrument, opposed to blowing on it. I let it rip during his solo. The rest of the story tells itself....
Click to expand...
Did it involve choking, gagging, or prodigious public puking? LOL...that's a great one!:D
 
#226
No-one ever farted into my microphone, but I'll have to remember that one for the next time.

However, someone at work farted into another guy's candy jar on his desk and then put the lid back on it. We looked at his desk the next day and noticed all the candy was in the garbage.
 
#227
Hahaha, great one.


I recently "auditioned" for a friend (ex then, now current guitarist of mine) in this drummers basement. Well, we all had Taco Bell before hand and about 10 minutes into a nice improv jam, the air we were already pushing was replaced by the most horrid of smells. I probably was the biggest contributer because I had two burritos and 2 taco's with fire sauce. We eventually had to run out of the relatively small basement and let it air out for about 20 minutes cause it was bad. We all laughed about it too, too bad we werent recording what was going on, cause it would have been great.
 
#228
I have yet to get through ALL of these posts, but so far they are hilarious!!!

Here's a good one:

When we were recording our last album, we happened to be quite good friends with our producer and engineer. High-school buds, actually, which made for an extraordinarily fun atmosphere. The engineer had set up a "fart mic" beside the CPU desk at around ass level. When we were between takes, someone that had one primed would shout out "FART MIC!", and the engineer would cue up a track, and we'd record all of our butt noise! We'd try them off the floor, leather chair, wooden chair (my personal fave), and straight into the mic. The end result was pretty ridiculous! We were doing a mix session, and the song had a "fart track" that wasn't muted, unbeknownst to us. So we're listening intently to the levels, and BRRRAAAAAPPPP right in the middle of the song, out of nowhere. I nearly pissed my pants laughing, and literally fell to the floor!

Interesting side note: After the final mix was done, we all came in to the booth to hear his final mix of our farts! He made a techno beat out of them!!!! Man, I've got to get a copy of it. Little squeakers and big frappers making this sick beat. Too much!!!!
 
#229
We were playing once when a well oiled guy pulled down his keks and his friends lit his farts for him - 'nice'

One more third party fart story (because of course it never happens to me :) ) My hubby is a doctor and tells stories of when they were undertaking total hip replacement operations. The doctors wore enclosed suits like space suits with a circulating air system - i.e. air flows from one suit to the next. When someone farted everyone had to 'get it' and they could only see each others eyes. No-one knew who did it! :D
 
#230
BEST THREAD EVER
Got to keep it alive!!
my story: i play in a high school big band so i'm playing up the back and messing around with the drummer while those blowing instruments get all the glory:scowl: Any way i need to let rip so i walk up to the lead trumpeter in the middle of his solo... so great nothing sounds like a high C turned into a cough through a trumpet!!:bassist:

on a nother note try farting in the shower. i dont know what it is maybe all the steam but the smell is at least 17 times worse. i almost knocked myself out once!
 
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#231
This entire thread is too damn funny! It needs to be archived in the Library of Congress!!!

All I gotta say at this point is simply this: I knew there was a divine reason for me purchasing a wireless set-up... heh-heh-heh! :p It is scheduled to arrive tomorrow (Friday), and we will be gigging that night. Hmmmm... :hmm: ...I wonder what I should have for lunch tomorrow???
 
#232
Keeaumoku said:
This entire thread is too damn funny! It needs to be archived in the Library of Congress!!!

All I gotta say at this point is simply this: I knew there was a divine reason for me purchasing a wireless set-up... heh-heh-heh! :p It is scheduled to arrive tomorrow (Friday), and we will be gigging that night. Hmmmm... :hmm: ...I wonder what I should have for lunch tomorrow???
Click to expand...

I recommend Mexican food, heavy on the refried beans.
 
#233
teedub said:
I have yet to get through ALL of these posts, but so far they are hilarious!!!

Here's a good one:

When we were recording our last album, we happened to be quite good friends with our producer and engineer. High-school buds, actually, which made for an extraordinarily fun atmosphere. The engineer had set up a "fart mic" beside the CPU desk at around ass level. When we were between takes, someone that had one primed would shout out "FART MIC!", and the engineer would cue up a track, and we'd record all of our butt noise! We'd try them off the floor, leather chair, wooden chair (my personal fave), and straight into the mic. The end result was pretty ridiculous! We were doing a mix session, and the song had a "fart track" that wasn't muted, unbeknownst to us. So we're listening intently to the levels, and BRRRAAAAAPPPP right in the middle of the song, out of nowhere. I nearly pissed my pants laughing, and literally fell to the floor!

Interesting side note: After the final mix was done, we all came in to the booth to hear his final mix of our farts! He made a techno beat out of them!!!! Man, I've got to get a copy of it. Little squeakers and big frappers making this sick beat. Too much!!!!
Click to expand...
that one was funny!
 
#238
I had a bad case of the upset guts at a country gig I did a few years back. I had no option but to let it go in the middle of a drum solo & the poor drummer (if there is such a thing) just about colasped and couldnt breath! It then wandered over to the guitarist, lead singer & then the keyboardist killing all in its wake! Im sure the crowd got a good wiff too as the mosh pit vacated pretty quick also. I was sooo proud. I spent the whole next break on the can! This is the stuff that legends are made of.

Rusty.
 
#240
Barfly said:
Caught the singer with his mouth open, last night. Dropped a hot biscuit just as he was going to stroll behind me. The look on his face was priceless:eek:

Rickards Pale Ale draught = the winds of hell.
Click to expand...


I drink Rickards Red by the case when I go on my Canadian fishing trips.

True story...we usually get a bunch of cases of Rickards, Labbats, and whatever else we have the urge to try. Towards the end of our week long fishing excursion between all the beer and diet of BBQ Brats..and Burgers etc. you can imagine the condition of our intestines. Needless to say we are all singing with our sphincters. We had two 14 foot little aluminum boats we rented. My brother and a buddy was in thier boat and it was getting dark out. We were getting a laugh farting into the little two way radios at each other we brought. We were drift fishing the boats were about 50 yards apart, and I hear this "Brrrwaaaaarrrrrppp" echo off the cold aluminum seat from my brother's boat. That was funny enough to hear this ripping fart from 50 yards away...but what was even funnier was a duck "quacked" back with the same pitch and duration as the fart..in fact it was creepy how close the quack sounded to his fart. If there any duck hunters out there we rent him out by the hour!
 
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