My cat will sit on the closed toilet seat and watch us if my wife or I are getting ready for work in the morning. A couple of weeks ago I felt one brewing, and the cat had been meowing and annoying me, so I crouched down and blew one off into his face. His eyes closed and his ears went back and stayed that way for about 5 seconds before he cleared the area. I laughed so hard, but I felt bad and gave him a treat after that. He still braves the toilet seat though. What a trooper.
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Farting during a show
- Thread starter jive1
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oh sh1t... hahaha. these are the best. i loved the veggie weekend one.
go to [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] and go to March 10, 2006 and then click "Toot Tone" for a good laugh.
go to [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] and go to March 10, 2006 and then click "Toot Tone" for a good laugh.
evan_phi said:
That was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
LMFAO!!!OMG
that was just amazing..."ring...ring...ring"
farting is defintely some of the greatest comedic material known to man.
One farting insident that sticks out in my mind was i was about 14 had a friend over staying the night, and at this time i had learned a way of being able to fart on command. Friend and I are outside my moms bedroom i'm just blasting away for a good 5 minutes, were farting cracking up laughing, we had woke her up she comes out yelling SETTLE IT DOWN OUT THERE QUIT MAKING SO MUCH RACKET. her rant ended up being as funny as the farting episode simply because she was upset with all the noise we were making just farting.
One farting insident that sticks out in my mind was i was about 14 had a friend over staying the night, and at this time i had learned a way of being able to fart on command. Friend and I are outside my moms bedroom i'm just blasting away for a good 5 minutes, were farting cracking up laughing, we had woke her up she comes out yelling SETTLE IT DOWN OUT THERE QUIT MAKING SO MUCH RACKET. her rant ended up being as funny as the farting episode simply because she was upset with all the noise we were making just farting.
I've going through a case of the Whooping Farts. I seem to be farting every 10 minutes or so since about 7 last night. Not smelly, but very loud. I hope to get it out of my system before I have to play at church tonight. Since the church is a cathedral, every little noise gets amplified throughout the building. I think I'll be sitting in the undercroft tonight.
jive1 said:
i've had the whooping farts before.
driving with your girlfriend and getting them thoguh... not cool. ever have a girl want to get out and walk?
yeah...
We have two guys at work that share an office in the mechanical shop- it's a cinder-block office, about 6'W by 12' long, with no windows, and the door at one end. Their desks are set up so that Dale's is on the left as you walk in the door, and Roger's is on the right at the far end. Dale is a big guy, and Roger is a little guy...well, Roger was having some problems with his gall bladder, and didn't know it, he'd eat 5-6 lbs of crawfish and wash it down with a twelver of beer. He'd also eat a bunch of veggies (corn and taters) and hushpuppies. As anyone with gall bladder problems will tell you, fried foods tend to make the gall bladder "act up", if you will. He'd come in to work in the morning, get on his computer, and commence firing. He would emit some of the most acidic, noxious farts known to man! They were silent, as well...real "sliders", if you catch the drift. Sometimes he'd wait for his boss to come in the office and start chewing on him for some infraction...you'd hear the boss in there yelling at him, then a brief silence (2-3 seconds), then "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!" The door would fly open, and the boss would shoot out of there until he was at least six feet away, out in the shop, gagging, with tears streaming down his face. That would pretty much end the boss' tirade right there. Roger's face would appear in the window of the door, out of the vapors, he'd be laughing at his boss, who was pretty much incapacitated. Note to boss- email him next time, dumbass! That's what email is for! Quit micromanaging already!
Dale said he went through a whole can of Febreze Air Effects in just one day, after one of Roger's "episodes". He told him he was going to bill him for his air freshener supplies... I walked by their office one day and heard Dale scream "AHHHH! YOU NASTY LITTLE BASTAGE!" The door opened, and big ol' Dale actually CRAWLED out on his hands and knees! He was almost puking in the big trash can by the milling machine, hanging on to it like it was the porcelain bus, retching and dry-heaving. The next day, I walked by their office again, looked in the door window, and saw Dale sitting at his computer with a WWII-era full-face gas mask on! He looked up and waved. I could see he was grinning like a fool under it! Roger was back at his computer, looking like someone just shot his dog....
Man, I LOVE this thread!
Dale said he went through a whole can of Febreze Air Effects in just one day, after one of Roger's "episodes". He told him he was going to bill him for his air freshener supplies... I walked by their office one day and heard Dale scream "AHHHH! YOU NASTY LITTLE BASTAGE!" The door opened, and big ol' Dale actually CRAWLED out on his hands and knees! He was almost puking in the big trash can by the milling machine, hanging on to it like it was the porcelain bus, retching and dry-heaving. The next day, I walked by their office again, looked in the door window, and saw Dale sitting at his computer with a WWII-era full-face gas mask on! He looked up and waved. I could see he was grinning like a fool under it! Roger was back at his computer, looking like someone just shot his dog....
Man, I LOVE this thread!
Forgot one thing about Dale's office- he does woodburning as a hobby, and burned a sign that he hung over the door for a while- it said "Mexican Gas Chamber- Enter at Your Own Peril"...
Let's just say... as a woman, I should actually be repulsed!!!
But honestly.. this is one of the funniest threads ever!!!
Laughing so hard, almost pee'd in me pants ..
But yeah.. have been lucky so far regarding my bandmates "letting 'em rip". In that they havent so far.. at least thats what I'd like to believe...
Ah yes, there are few joys greater than opening mail,
and seeing one with the subject:
Farting during a show
informing me that we have another installment in our
gig fart sharing.
and seeing one with the subject:
Farting during a show
informing me that we have another installment in our
gig fart sharing.
Absolutely "+infinity"SBassman said:Ah yes, there are few joys greater than opening mail,
and seeing one with the subject:
Farting during a show
informing me that we have another installment in our
gig fart sharing.
I've noticed I can fart without being noticed more with my fretless than my fretted basses. Brrr...uu....p!5Thumbs said:
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