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Farting during a show

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#361
I can't believe I just read this entire thread and it took almost 2 whole days because our crappy connection while underway.

Anyways. I was practicing in madison square garden (my bedroom) and our dog was on the bed. I fart all the time so I am used to it. I noticed the dog getting up and walking around the bed about every 5 minutes or so. but never paid attention to it. My wife comes into the room to let me know dinner is ready and screams OMG have you been farting in here?!?!?! I just couldn't help but laugh. She couldn't help but gag. I guess i was just enjoying it too much to notice how bad it was. After dinner was over we did the dishes and had coffee then I went back to playing in the bedroom. Apparantly the dog got up and moved around to get away from the smell and it just never dawned on me.

The stench was still there after about an hour. I was completely impressed.
 
#362
Half of one of my bands is from a different city, so for the summer we rented a 24-hour storage facility. So there are 6 of us crammed into a 10X15 aluminum box packed full of instruments, Did I mention the storage space was poorly ventilated (non-climate controlled)?

We begin practice and halfway through one of our first songs, I let one rip. One of the guitarists smells the rancid vapor-choke and begins messing up. After I impare his ability to play with my toxic gas, my drummer smells it. She starts laughing becuase she realized why the guitarist was dying. The keyboardist gets a whiff... and I think by that time the song was lost completely. My band just couldn't stand to finish it in the same room as my putrid, rotten stank.
 
#363
Here's a short story . . .

My guitar player and I flew from Sacramento to Austin for a friend's wedding last summer and stayed at the Omni hotel, along with most of the wedding party. Having roomed with him in college, I was well aware of his frequent and noxious emissions.

The morning of the wedding, I am downstairs, waiting on everyone else. My buddy takes the glass elevator down to the lobby along with the best man and the bride's two brothers. All of a sudden I see everyone move from the center of the elevator to the corners and then dash out when the doors opened.

I knew immediately what happened on the ride down. I think pretty much everyone in the lobby did too. And if they didn't, they sure did once the doors opened. The WHOLE lobby. That's a LOT of space to stink up. It impresses me to this day.
 
#375
Hey all,
Having read through this thread many times (and laughing out
loud to the point of annoying neighbors) figured it was time
to post.
My wife (and yes she has been wanting me to post this(
is truly the Queen of Farts in all categories.
Volume,tone or smell..no one can top her.

Her Greatest Hits:

1. Chair Fart...We came home from an evening out
and our heavy meals were a rumbling. Sitting quite
tight with nary a hint of cheek sneek she gave birth to
one of the loudest and most tone changing farts I've
ever heard.
I doubt few synthesizers could pitch bend as fast
(or far) as the legendary Chair Fart.

2. Tub Soak Fart...My wife has back trouble so while
soaking in the tub late one night she let one rip
that was the aqautic version of the above.
I had headphones on in the living room & still
heard it.

3. Wolf Call Fart...While reading in bed one night
she let one out that I swear on the Bible was a
perfect wolf call (as in hey babe).

So many more...but the above rank (and rank indeed)
are my favs. I'm sure that somewhere a seismograph
picked them up.

Cheers,
Doug
(Texas)
:D
 
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#376
TheBigO said:
Am I the only one curious about what a fart would sound like going through an envelope filter?
Click to expand...
I would just like to remind you to add farts to the music in a tasteful manner, not just to show off your chops. Its not about how many farts you can squeeze into a single measure, or how loud you can do it.

It must be tasteful, it must be in time as well.

Many people think they are fart masters. But if you can't fart in time to a metronome, you're not as good as you think you are. You are probably detracting from the musical experience instead of enhancing it.

An as always, try to lock in tight with the drummer when you fart.

Farting to a metronome isn't fun, but its a necessary step to becoming a complete musician.

Randy
 
#377
steveksux said:
I would just like to remind you to add farts to the music in a tasteful manner, not just to show off your chops. Its not about how many farts you can squeeze into a single measure, or how loud you can do it.

It must be tasteful, it must be in time as well.

Many people think they are fart masters. But if you can't fart in time to a metronome, you're not as good as you think you are. You are probably detracting from the musical experience instead of enhancing it.

An as always, try to lock in tight with the drummer when you fart.

Farting to a metronome isn't fun, but its a necessary step to becoming a complete musician.

Randy
Click to expand...

You're one funny guy. I just followed the other timing thread here with you, and this is funny stuff. :)
 
#380
mad_man_moon61 said:
I had headphones on in the living room & still heard it.
Click to expand...

THAT IS AWESOME.

Last night, the wife and I were changing our newborn baby's diaper. As my wife is cleaning her up, she cracks one off in my wife's face. I of course just start laughing as my wife's face morphs into one of disgust. Moments later, my newborn daughter fires off another air rocket, which travels in a perfectly straight line and blasts me square in the mouth right as I'm inhaling. I almost died. It was so gross and thick. I never new air could be "chewable".
 
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