Farting during a show

[Phalex]

We did an outdoor gig at a pig roast once. They had pig, of course, baked beans, sausage and sauerkraut, and keg beer. I almost made the singer vomit several times, and the drummer wouldn't speak to me for a week! That's pretty good for an outdoor thing!

Bad combination, never again will I eat that crap at the same time!

 

[chaosMK]

Bad combination, never again will I eat that crap at the same time!

Are you kidding, sounds like you've got it down!

 

[Phalex]

It just kept growing all night. Not a comfortable situation at all.

My old guitar player has tapes from that night and still brings it up from time to time when I run into him.

 

[Thor]

As suggested above, the tapes would have sounded
better if you farted into a Shure SM57 and used an envelope filter in
the signal chain.

And the correct EQ settings make a big difference.

 

[jive1]

............. and wondering what made that pop, so I tried to sit up. My head ran right into a foul stench...uh-oh, the dreaded DOG FART! ............

My dog gets bad gas. And that fart is the worst. Awful foul.
The funny thing is that there's times when he just lays down, stretches out, and lets one rip. He seems so relaxed and smug about it.

 

[Bassic83]

My dog gets bad gas. And that fart is the worst. Awful foul.
The funny thing is that there's times when he just lays down, stretches out, and lets one rip. He seems so relaxed and smug about it.

Oh, I know, right? What makes such a HUGE stench come from such a SMALL animal? I'm telling you, if you magnified the stench factor from a dog fart to the equivalent stench factor of our size/weight ratio, can you imagine the devastation? That would be WEAPON GRADE!!!

 

[Thor]

Do not ask about the time my wife's Scottie plundered a
half pound piece of pepperoni and proceeded to lay a
paralysing weapon grade anal emmisson underneath
the marital bed at 4 AM one winter morning.

Ghastly, just GhASStly! I could have used a HazMat team.


http://www.talkbass.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2838465&postcount=44

 

[samurai_24]

This thread only grows in humor. I'm tempted to read it over again from the start.

 

[SBassman]

This thread is the greatest.

Just when I thought no one could say any more, I get treated to multiple laughs out loud in a row.

Gold. Solid gold.

[80% of my dog's emissions are room clearers, and only about 20% are audible.]

 

[Bassic83]

[80% of my dog's emissions are room clearers, and only about 20% are audible.]

Watch out for the ones that go "pop". Ack.

 

[Salicete]

I have not read this entire thread, so I'm sorry if part this has already been mentioned.

Farting on stage is fine, as long as you don't "gamble and lose" when you do it. Come on.....its happened to everyone at least once.

Whenever possible, you should try to retain your gas if there is a chance that it will be so bad that other band members, and possibly the audience, will actually be able to taste it.

I recall an incident when I was younger. I was playing in a garage band, and we were performing for our friends and neighbors, in a garage, who would have guessed, and the guitar player Tim, started letting them rip. It was so bad that it actually gave me a sick headache. Its been decades and I still remember the odor.

It was Winter, so I was wearing a knit cap at the time. When I put it on again three days later, the fart odor was still all over it. I had to throw it away.

 

[Bassic83]

I have not read this entire thread,

You need to. It's a classic, and will make you laugh so hard you'll.....umm...fart!

Farting on stage is fine, as long as you don't "gamble and loose" when you do it.

How "loose"?

Its been decades and I still remember the odor.

It was Winter, so I was wearing a knit cap at the time. When I put it on again three days later, the fart odor was still all over it. I had to throw it away.

Ah, weapons-grade! Nice!

 

[evan_phi]

dag farts suck the worst,haha

just like SBassman's... my dogs clear almost every time and yhou never hear them coming.

one time he farted while walking up the stairs in front of me... just a little *pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst*

i almost fell down the stairs... eew.

 

[teedub]

When I put it on again three days later, the fart odor was still all over it. I had to throw it away.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHH!!!

That made me snort!!!

 

[SBassman]

just like SBassman's... my dogs clear almost every time and yhou never hear them coming.

one time he farted while walking up the stairs in front of me... just a little *pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst*

i almost fell down the stairs... eew.

Niiiice.

 

[Dan Knowlton]

dag farts suck the worst,haha

I'm sorry, I really have to disagree with you. My wife's cat is WAY worse than any of our dogs. It does not clear the room, it clears the whole street! Words just fail me - trust me, though, it is bad!

Dan K.

 

[Thor]

This thread really stinks.

 

[Bassic83]

This thread really stinks.

Very pfunny! Haha!

 

[MazeMouse]

Bassist for:
Rotten Angel

Nuff said I think

 

[bmc]

My dog gets bad gas. And that fart is the worst. Awful foul.
The funny thing is that there's times when he just lays down, stretches out, and lets one rip. He seems so relaxed and smug about it.

Our black lab, Bud, gets treats at the neighbors house. Throws off his diet and he drops, what we call Bud Bombs.

Nobody can fart like a dog.