Farting during a show

[kayakbass]

Sam Adams on the Friday night gig. Sam Adams to begin the Saturday night gig. Then brew up a good one...you know the dark and steamy type..then park yourself as close to the drummer as possible during the ballad... TOOOO fun. I should know, I do it EVERY weekend!
Play on my brutha's and don't fake the funk (..and you know what I mean)

 

[RicPlaya]

Sunday during football we had as asssortement of food during the game. I consumed a six pack of micro brewed wheat beer, 2 brats, chips and hot salsa, baked beans, and venison steaks. Can you say powder keg! We went to the practice room for a jam session after the game. Lets just say Beer, beans, deer meat, and brats cleared to room out in about 10 minutes. The drummer said I almost made him puke when I farted right into his little personal fan he uses to keep cool while playing which happens to be pointed at his face The term "Go see a doctor and get checked out" was used many times.

 

[chaosMK]

Farting During Gigantour

I ate a conie for lunch and had been drinking Fat Tire all afternoon. It was windy in the seated area. I was letting a few out every now and then but they seemed to be odorless. Right before Lamb of God started, the guy sitting behind me got my attention and, with a desperate look in his eyes, asked me if I was farting. I noticed that everyone near the guy also had a troubled look on their faces, so I said- "Nope, not me". I let loose after that, for the duration of the Lamb of God set.

At one point, I felt a warm one (about 110* F) quietly slip out. The wind must have stopped or something and it was chokingly wicked- one of my foulest of all time. I had no idea what I was packing that night. It was full strength for about a minute. After the breeze pushed it, there was a equally foul, but slightly different "afterstench" that lasted another few minutes.

These were so wicked that little girls 5 seats down were squirming when the wind blew them that way. All of my friends congratulated me after the show for some of my best work ever.

 

[Thor]

...incredible...

Agreed!

 

[MonetBass]

This thread has officially made my day. I am wiping tears of laughter off of my face right now.

 

[lonotes]

Farting During Gigantour

... It was windy in the seated area...

Sums up this whole thread. And just remember kids, there's no such thing as "juicy", if it wasn't dry, it wasn't a fart.

 

[SBassman]

Just catching up to this thread again.

I never new air could be "chewable".

Excellent.

 

[SBassman]

The drummer said I almost made him puke when I farted right into his little personal fan he uses to keep cool while playing which happens to be pointed at his face The term "Go see a doctor and get checked out" was used many times.

Yeah baby.

 

[SBassman]

Farting During Gigantour
...the guy sitting behind me got my attention and, with a desperate look in his eyes, asked me if I was farting...At one point, I felt a warm one (about 110* F) quietly slip out. The wind must have stopped or something and it was chokingly wicked- one of my foulest of all time. I had no idea what I was packing that night. It was full strength for about a minute. After the breeze pushed it, there was a equally foul, but slightly different "afterstench" that lasted another few minutes.

These were so wicked that little girls 5 seats down were squirming when the wind blew them that way. All of my friends congratulated me after the show for some of my best work ever.

Outstanding.

 

[SBassman]

Class, the fart thread passwords for the day are:

- chewable
- personal fan
- afterstench

Thank you for playing.

 

[teedub]

Absolute GOLD from all involved! Great to see this thread revived!

 

[Thor]

This thread has been duly honored in the Lobby,
in the 'Talkbass Hall of Fame' thread listing as one
of the top TB threads of all time.

10 pages of the juciest humor ever.

 

[samurai_24]

Class, the fart thread passwords for the day are:

- chewable
- personal fan
- afterstench

Thank you for playing.

I think afterstench would be a great band name.

 

[MonetBass]

I have consulted a noted authority on performance farting. And, mind you, there was a late 19th-century performer, Lepetomaine(sp?) whose sole act consisted of farting. He could whistle tunes, do birdcalls, and blow out candles. He was a very successful performer.

Yep, it's true folks. [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[marwady]

On a related note (no pun intended), if you fart in the office while walking by the cubicles, it's calle "Crop Dusting"

 

[The_D]

One guy at work must have the stinkiest a** I have ever known. He farted one day while standing at the door then proceeded to take a lap of honour round the tech support office.
By the time he reached the door again the whole place was truly fumigated and we all had to leave. Well either that or spew up all over the place.

 

[Jiggybass]

I got my mate in the mouth with one of those ripsnorters. And as much as it burnt coming out, it was so worth it for the look of digust on his face. fun times.

 

[Wh4len]

Dunno if any girls have written here yet... but I've got a story from my little brother... 'bout a girl who used to go in his class.

1. It was during a swedish lesson, home language.... and book reading time.... the class went seperate ways... and some stayed in the class room..... well... this girl was sittin on a desk with her book, right next to her buddies. And the whole room was silent and then they heard piew(squeky noise)FRAP..... erveryone looked around... and she just sits staring into a book, candy apple red face ^^

2. I've got more ^^
My mom, lays the most feared farts in sweden... OMFG.
There's so many times i've laughed so hard, or ran away in fear ^^
And everytime she just utters a mild "whooops" and smirks.

Well, the story. Mom told me during the morning. She and dad was in bed. And she lets a real poisonous one go. And my dad tries to scoot over to her, and she's just "DON'T MOVE"
Simply hilarious.

3. Romantic moment.
When you've met a new girlfriend, it takes a while until you fart in her precense. But that's no block for me. the other day i was at her place, we were lying in bed after a night of sex *cough..... and i looked at her, did a face as if i was inhaling air a let a real loud one rip.... and she laughed.... ^^

4. Band rehersal on a hungover belly ^^
Beerfarts have been mentioned in this thread. well, band practice. And i had been really drunk on beer and vodka the night before... so i felt that a fart was headning to the airlock.... and let it rip, between songs.... and everyone heard it, and they had earplugs!!!! And the smell..... not exactly nice ^^

Wh4len

 

[Bassic83]

Prince (my dog, who has already been mentioned in this thread) got me back. We just got back from a cruise Sunday, I'm sick as a...well, I'm sick enough not to go to work. My GF picked up the dogs this morning from the kennel after I go in to work and get sent home.

I think I'm gonna die, fever, stopped-up head, sweats, coughing up big chunks of lung-butter. I try to lay down on the couch, but the dogs are REALLY excited to see dear old dad after a week at dog camp. Princess is wiggling and wagging, about to come out of her fur, so I kneel down to pet her. Prince is jealous, and comes up and jumps up and knocks her out of the way. I start to pet him, and he licks my ear, as he's doing that he unleashes a BRUTAL belch right in my ear! I mean, it sounded like a bomb going off! I fell the rest of the way to the floor, Prince is just happier than a tornado in a trailer park, and is bouncing all over me trying to get me to play, which I have NO interest in at this point. I manage to fling him off to the side long enough to try to get up, and retire myself to the couch. Man's best friend and all...

So I'm laying there watching TV, and have just taken about a half a bottle of Nyquil in hopes it will either clear me up, or knock me out. As it happens, it knocked me out. I was having one of those weird Nyquil dreams- you know, where nothing makes any sense, when I heard my GF leave for work. I opened my eyes to see Prince glide between the coffee table and my face. As his hindquarters passed my head, I heard a pop. It was kind of like the first popcorn kernel in your microwave going off, but louder. I was on my side, rather disoriented, and wondering what made that pop, so I tried to sit up. My head ran right into a foul stench...uh-oh, the dreaded DOG FART! But I wasn't worried- I haven't been able to smell anything for the last four days anyway. So here I am, struggling to get vertical, unable to breathe through my nose, yet gagging on the noxious fumes apparently emitted by my dog, AND IT WON'T GO AWAY!!! It stayed in my nose, I guess it was suspended in in snot or something, for about five minutes!!! I looked over at Prince, and said "Prince! Go outside!" He just looked over his shoulder at me with a look that said "What? You did it to me, dad!"

 

[Dave]

Prince (my dog, who has already been mentioned in this thread) got me back. We just got back from a cruise Sunday, I'm sick as a...well, I'm sick enough not to go to work. My GF picked up the dogs this morning from the kennel after I go in to work and get sent home.

I think I'm gonna die, fever, stopped-up head, sweats, coughing up big chunks of lung-butter. I try to lay down on the couch, but the dogs are REALLY excited to see dear old dad after a week at dog camp. Princess is wiggling and wagging, about to come out of her fur, so I kneel down to pet her. Prince is jealous, and comes up and jumps up and knocks her out of the way. I start to pet him, and he licks my ear, as he's doing that he unleashes a BRUTAL belch right in my ear! I mean, it sounded like a bomb going off! I fell the rest of the way to the floor, Prince is just happier than a tornado in a trailer park, and is bouncing all over me trying to get me to play, which I have NO interest in at this point. I manage to fling him off to the side long enough to try to get up, and retire myself to the couch. Man's best friend and all...

So I'm laying there watching TV, and have just taken about a half a bottle of Nyquil in hopes it will either clear me up, or knock me out. As it happens, it knocked me out. I was having one of those weird Nyquil dreams- you know, where nothing makes any sense, when I heard my GF leave for work. I opened my eyes to see Prince glide between the coffee table and my face. As his hindquarters passed my head, I heard a pop. It was kind of like the first popcorn kernel in your microwave going off, but louder. I was on my side, rather disoriented, and wondering what made that pop, so I tried to sit up. My head ran right into a foul stench...uh-oh, the dreaded DOG FART! But I wasn't worried- I haven't been able to smell anything for the last four days anyway. So here I am, struggling to get vertical, unable to breathe through my nose, yet gagging on the noxious fumes apparently emitted by my dog, AND IT WON'T GO AWAY!!! It stayed in my nose, I guess it was suspended in in snot or something, for about five minutes!!! I looked over at Prince, and said "Prince! Go outside!" He just looked over his shoulder at me with a look that said "What? You did it to me, dad!"

Hahhaha, man you are the master of fart stories.