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Farting during a show

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#581
Joe Nerve said:
I was subbing for a HS special ed class once. They got to talking about farting and whether they were embarrassed to do it or not, and the group clown let a loud one rip. His friend of course had to follow, and then everyone who could - starting farting. Worst part of it all was that they got me and I had to practically be scraped off the floor. They cracked me up bigtime.
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Ah special ed...:rolleyes: They're the best... You'll NEVER beat them at farting no matter what you eat. They are practically on the level of gods when it comes to farting. Rule one. Never get in a farting contest with a special ed kid unless you're prepared to poop in your pants and hold it in your hand as evidence. Rule two. Never get in a fight with a special ed kid unles you're prepared to poop in your pants and hold in your hand as a weapon.:D
 
#583
So I've been drinking Raki recently...

I ahad some last night, and well apparently aniseed and I don't get along gastronomically... or maybe we do, depending on your toughts...

Anyway, this morning, the spirits were working through me and I had some serious gas during worship... I'm glad the choir wasn't behind me this morning.. wow... It was.. spiritual...
 
#584
Today I wore some snowpants, since I was cold. I let out this nice fart in them, wet and juicy, very fresh.

Didn't smell anything.

I later take them off.....OMG!!! I almost died when I put them down. THe snowpants had swallowed the deadly gastric eruption!

And now it's spittin' it back at me :crying:

I chucked them outside....suckers, the pants better sorry by now, or else it's time for a timout.


(I am waaay too tired to make sense, pardon me :p)
 
#585
MakiSupaStar said:
Just want to share. Was fast asleep last night, and was rudely awakened by a sharp elbow in my side, from my wife who had been contently spooning and snuggling up to me. She was wretching and gagging so hard she had tears in her eyes. I didn't smell it until I woke up. All I could say was:

"I did that?":eek:

The worse part of it was we were both naked and she took it right on her belly. She forced me to sniff her belly button. It smelled just like my a$$.:eek:
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At least you get to be the little spoon :(

Well, did... maybe those priviledges have been removed?
 
#587
So my wife got me this book for V-day, and I was crying with laughter. I had to share with my fellow fart-humor lovers.

1583940537.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
 
#591
I've got a few pearls of poop-humor, courtesy of my Dad (who taught me everything I know):

Since everyone calls him Pa, Pop, or Papa, he told me that he wants to start a port-a-potty company called "Poppa Hot One" (pop-a-hot-one).

-and-

When I was at his house last week, we we're flipping through channels on the TV, and came across your typical hip-hop video, with some scantly clad girl rapidly shaking her backside up and down. He chuckled and commented, "I bet she could sling a turd over her shoulder with moves like that"

... I almost peed myself laughing!!! He may have moved to L.A., but he's still a redneck on the inside.



Now back to your regularly scheduled farting.
 
#594
Ad Nauseam said:
There's a term for farting while walking through a crowd, especially if that crowd is at a concert. My friends have a band named after it.
"CROPDUSTER"
I still laugh anytime they explain the reference.
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I cropdust my fellow office workers offices all the time, just walk in, let one rip and walk out. If your really obvious make a little airplane noise as you walk through nneeeeooooooowwww!!!!
 
#595
This was a great find... just love 'fart' humor... my head hurts from laughing so much.

OK, one of my best ....

The band I'm in now was just starting out about 9 years ago, and we were in the guitarist basement rehearsing. Now I gotta tell you this, Billy (guitarist) and I have been best pals since first grade :D and have been 'bombing' each other for a long time. Well, the drummer was banging away and I motioned to Billy to come over by me (I just ripped a world-class one), he looks at me like "what?", so I motion again to come over .... finally he walks over and leans his ear over near my mouth and I said "can ya smell that yet?" He jumped back face all crinkled up gasping for air....

So, far he hasn't paid me back an equal, but I'm sure he will :help:

Hats off to Jong for starting this thread.

Halarious.....
 
#598
MakiSupaStar said:
Both of these titles are noted. I'm buying them to read to my 3 year old. He appreciates fart humor as much as I do. Sniff. Sniff... Just like his dad [chest swells with pride]

Actually, just lifted a cheek to let one out. Nice rumbler.:eek:
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You don't even have to be a kid to enjoy Walter the Farting Dog. I was laughing hysterically at the pictures.
 
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