Get off my LAWN! "Grumpy Old Farts"

[RodRy]

See if Stayin’ Alive is any good. 3PM.

Those two make nearly anything good.

 

[GwenOnBass]

Those two make nearly anything good.

Are we truly ready for Larkin Poe's cover of Alfred E. Neuman's "It's a Gas" ? ?

 

[beans-on-toast]

Are we truly ready for Larkin Poe's cover of Alfred E. Neuman's "It's a Gas" ? ?

That would require farting in public, which women apparently don’t do.

 

[2tonic]

GoFs with tenure get to say "spectacles" instead of "eyeglasses".

One of the very few memories I have of my Maternal Grandfather (he passed when I turned 5) was his reference to his eyeglasses as "see-ers", often asking if anyone has "seen his see-ers". This made perfect sense to a 5 year old, as seeing is one of the first concepts, and words we learn. This always stuck with me.
Unfortunately, I had to rely on newspaper stories, professional journals, and relatives memories to discover the other amazing accomplishments of his life.

 

[gtmalone]

Heard this on the radio today. Demo version of David Bowie "Let's Dance". Two guitars, bass, drums. The only effects are reverb on the drums and vocals. I like it much better than the released version. Plus a story to go with the tune.

 

[Charlie Tango]

Is it legal to keep a microscope, a stereoscope, and a telescope in the same house? Is it even ethical? What about binoculars? Monocles? Cancel culture is so confusing.

You're allowed any two of those items in the house at one time. If you wish to have all three, you must first throw away any eyeglasses you may have.

 

[Charlie Tango]

I used to use a dissecting microscope. It’s no longer considered ethical to operate on rats unless it can be justified before a board.

Those self-same rats are sometimes board members.

 

[Charlie Tango]

That would require farting in public, which women apparently don’t do.

They also don't p00p, even in private.

 

[roller]

This afternoon as I was on my regular walk, I saw a styrofoam plane fly across the sidewalk in front of and come to a rest in the street, followed by the sounds of crying youngsters coming from where the plane originated. Next to the plane that just landed, I spied another plane of another color next to it and quickly put together what had taken place. So I picked them both up and walked them over toward the iron fence where I could see the upset kids on the other side.

I handed them back to the owners... and neither the children nor their father (who witnessed the whole thing) said "thank you."

Is this the right thread to post such a tale?

 

[gtmalone]

This afternoon as I was on my regular walk, I saw a styrofoam plane fly across the sidewalk in front of and come to a rest in the street, followed by the sounds of crying youngsters coming from where the plane originated. Next to the plane that just landed, I spied another plane of another color next to it and quickly put together what had taken place. So I picked them both up and walked them over toward the iron fence where I could see the upset kids on the other side.

I handed them back to the owners... and neither the children nor their father (who witnessed the whole thing) said "thank you."

Is this the right thread to post such a tale?

At least they weren't on YOUR lawn.

 

[2tonic]

That would require farting in public, which women apparently don’t do.

Oh, yes they do.
Beware, gentle reader, as I am about to expose one of the greatest coverups of human history, and lay bare all the sordid and frightful evidence.
The dirty little secret is that, unlike men, who's unprepossessing brains have only the ability to process one or two logic threads at a time, women's brains have developed at an alarmingly increased rate, allowing them the luxury of thinking about hundreds of subjects at the same time. Even though logic is no longer necessarily involved, this capacity benefits women greatly (though, to the consternation of their male counterparts).
While men, in their natural habitat (hardware store, gun shop, garage, or golf course, etc.) are usually caught unawares by the sudden need for pressure equalization and methane expulsion, women are much more attuned to their body's functions and have ample time to plan their strategy.
While men are often "caught out" by this immediate demand upon their digestive plumbing, and cerebral cortex, such as it is, and have to pause any other concurrent activity (walking, talking, etc.) to effect this uncontrolled evacuation, women are much more subtle. Able to continue with almost any activity simultaneously with said venting, they never give off the telltale signs, such as sudden paralysis, or onset of Turret's, which betray a man's activities.
Instead, women are able to stay in motion, and remain coherent, as they precisely control a silent release, then exfiltrate the target zone of their "cropdusting", completely avoiding suspicion, and leaving only temporary evidence of their presence or trespass.
Like carpet bombing, all that remains is the suffering of the innocent.

 

[2tonic]

This afternoon as I was on my regular walk, I saw a styrofoam plane fly across the sidewalk in front of and come to a rest in the street, followed by the sounds of crying youngsters coming from where the plane originated. Next to the plane that just landed, I spied another plane of another color next to it and quickly put together what had taken place. So I picked them both up and walked them over toward the iron fence where I could see the upset kids on the other side.

I handed them back to the owners... and neither the children nor their father (who witnessed the whole thing) said "thank you."

Is this the right thread to post such a tale?

Yes, but only if you follow it up with the details of how you pulled the father through the iron fence to reprimand him for his lack of learned social skills, failure to impress upon his charges said social skills, and being an asshat, in general.
Usually, high tech military hardware has a self destruct option, in case of imminent capture by an enemy.
If only in this case.

 

[beans-on-toast]

This afternoon as I was on my regular walk, I saw a styrofoam plane fly across the sidewalk in front of and come to a rest in the street, followed by the sounds of crying youngsters coming from where the plane originated. Next to the plane that just landed, I spied another plane of another color next to it and quickly put together what had taken place. So I picked them both up and walked them over toward the iron fence where I could see the upset kids on the other side.

I handed them back to the owners... and neither the children nor their father (who witnessed the whole thing) said "thank you."

Is this the right thread to post such a tale?

What a drag it is getting old. Kids are different today.

Maybe they were frozen with the thought that you may have covid contaminated their toys.

 

[GwenOnBass]

They also don't p00p, even in private.

You should see the monthly Miralax bill.

 

[Charlie Tango]

You should see the monthly Miralax bill.

 

[GwenOnBass]

How one views the world changes after gall bladder surgery a friend told me

 

[GonePlaid]

This afternoon as I was on my regular walk, I saw a styrofoam plane fly across the sidewalk in front of and come to a rest in the street, followed by the sounds of crying youngsters coming from where the plane originated. Next to the plane that just landed, I spied another plane of another color next to it and quickly put together what had taken place. So I picked them both up and walked them over toward the iron fence where I could see the upset kids on the other side.

I handed them back to the owners... and neither the children nor their father (who witnessed the whole thing) said "thank you."

Is this the right thread to post such a tale?

Pretty damn sad.

 

[spiritbass]

Oh, yes they do.
Beware, gentle reader, as I am about to expose one of the greatest coverups of human history, and lay bare all the sordid and frightful evidence.
The dirty little secret is that, unlike men, who's unprepossessing brains have only the ability to process one or two logic threads at a time, women's brains have developed at an alarmingly increased rate, allowing them the luxury of thinking about hundreds of subjects at the same time. Even though logic is no longer necessarily involved, this capacity benefits women greatly (though, to the consternation of their male counterparts).
While men, in their natural habitat (hardware store, gun shop, garage, or golf course, etc.) are usually caught unawares by the sudden need for pressure equalization and methane expulsion, women are much more attuned to their body's functions and have ample time to plan their strategy.
While men are often "caught out" by this immediate demand upon their digestive plumbing, and cerebral cortex, such as it is, and have to pause any other concurrent activity (walking, talking, etc.) to effect this uncontrolled evacuation, women are much more subtle. Able to continue with almost any activity simultaneously with said venting, they never give off the telltale signs, such as sudden paralysis, or onset of Turret's, which betray a man's activities.
Instead, women are able to stay in motion, and remain coherent, as they precisely control a silent release, then exfiltrate the target zone of their "cropdusting", completely avoiding suspicion, and leaving only temporary evidence of their presence or trespass.
Like carpet bombing, all that remains is the suffering of the innocent.

Yer killin' me!

 

[Jeff Scott]

GoFs with tenure get to say "spectacles" instead of "eyeglasses".

Those were pretty amazing spectacles I just witnessed.

See if Stayin’ Alive is any good. 3PM.

They can keep the same guitars and just change the lyrics to "another Brick in the Wall".

That I was a full adult when Stayin' Alive was new is good enough.

Define full.

You're allowed any two of those items in the house at one time. If you wish to have all three, you must first throw away any eyeglasses you may have.

This is no good at all. The SO has reading spectacles all over the house! Or, is that okay since they are spectacles, not eyeglasses?

This afternoon as I was on my regular walk, I saw a styrofoam plane fly across the sidewalk in front of and come to a rest in the street, followed by the sounds of crying youngsters coming from where the plane originated. Next to the plane that just landed, I spied another plane of another color next to it and quickly put together what had taken place. So I picked them both up and walked them over toward the iron fence where I could see the upset kids on the other side.

I handed them back to the owners... and neither the children nor their father (who witnessed the whole thing) said "thank you."

Is this the right thread to post such a tale?

Sad, but that seems to be the norm, these days.

 

[Jeff Scott]

This post is strictly for Ann Wilson fans (totally awesomely amazing wonderfullness). It's kinda long, but, blown away by this.