Get off my LAWN! "Grumpy Old Farts"

[alaskaleftybass]

Remember to be grateful for what you have, when you have it.

Excellent advice @agedhorse . And I'm happy for all you regular grumps that come around here! Even with yer fancy gizmos and stories that always trump mine!

 

[Kirk Bryant]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and well wishes. And AH I do count my blessings daily.

 

[BassmanPaul]

 

[alaskaleftybass]

Bless you Paul.

 

[beans-on-toast]

My condolences Kirk.

Even when a death is expected, it affects you in ways that you would never imagine. Unexpected losses can be more difficult because of untied ends. It takes time to come to terms.

Seeing death makes you realize, one second the person is living, the next instant they are gone. Life is fleeting. Too many things have happened in my life that convinces me deep in my heart that there’s more beyond our life.

At our age, at some point you realize that you’ll never be able to accomplish all that you would like in life. There isn’t enough time and you have to pick and choose what’s most important.

I’ve come to realize that it’s the simple things in life that matter the most. Enjoy them!


David

 

[Basshappi]

My condolences Kirk.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

At our age, at some point you realize that you’ll never be able to accomplish all that you would like in life. There isn’t enough time and you have to pick and choose what’s most important.

I’ve come to realize that it’s the simple things in life that matter the most. Enjoy them!

Amen bro @beans-on-toast .

 

[chadds]

Relationships are what we have. Here, now. There, then. That great conversation in an airport with a stranger. Why? You both desired connection. We are all siblings.
Yeah I know there’s more. It’s our relating that’s our food our sustenance.

Not so strange that music is the window to the more. It may be you but it’s definitely these others who bring through or make manifest in this plane this great combining of rhythm and melody. Know what? In this and that world your song is paramount. So only spend so much time playing covers. We await your song.

 

[Ken Morgan]

You might find many of us bounce things off this oddball bunch in here that we wouldn’t bounce off any other crowd...good catharsis, for some inexplicable reason. Hang tough, cherish what you got.

You are never alone.

 

[BassmanPaul]

Bless you Paul.

A blessing from Will. OK That’s one!

 

[gregbackstrom]

I generally don't post any of my private personal stuff or health issues online. I've barely checked in here in a month or two. Yet somehow this particular forum feels safer than most with this subject. I feel the need to express some thoughts.
Does it get any easier losing loved ones? I ask, without expecting a yes.
Most of my life I've been somewhat blasé about my own mortality. I was jumping off the garage roof with anything resembling a parachute when my age was single digits. I skied, biked, Rode Motorcycles, until I decided I was going to kill myself and quit riding, Sports cars seem safer. That calm didn't last long, the adrenalin junky soon discovered the then new sport of Hang Gliding, I could not care any less about bikes, music and flying consumed me all through the 70s and 80's and really until I finally put down the glider 2010. And then it was only because I nearly died of Pluresy which took its toll on my general health and lungs. There were many incredible awe filled moments flying as well as,(thankfully) only a few, moments of sheer terror. Flying and LANDING going backwards in strong headwind conditions is not to be forgotten or repeated. Seeing the Pilots Glory, was inspiring, getting whited out in clouds, (yes I know that's illegal w/o instruments) Flying off mountains, soaring for hours watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean and flying with seagulls and Hawks at my wingtip and after dark under a full moon. Landing out and having to sleep on the mountain and hike out in the morning. Newspaper front page read "Local pilot cheats death" on the front page the next day. (Slow news day)
I almost never really thought I was being reckless. Aviation is, by its very nature frought with peril.
Well reasoned and cautious actions are demanded if safe outcomes are to be hoped for let alone expected, I knew this as my dad was a military pilot. I had a few friends die. The worst injurys I sustained in 40 years were a sprained wrist and a small rotator cuff injury. The risk was always worth the satisfaction of soaring in free flight.
Then age slowly creeps up. We still feel years younger in our head. Older and Younger family and friends pass. We mourn in our own ways. Some constructive, some destructive. I've tried both ways.
I lost my father when I was young. His death didn't seem disturbing, I was young and unfazed. Then friends die, some much younger, it starts to eat at you a little inside, over the years it changes, it makes a bigger dent, it hurts more, it seems more personel. Then friends and fellow bandmates go and the wheel of time and mortality grinds inexorably onward taking its toll as it goes.
When my mother died in 2004, she was 83, and well loved in our town, she lived a full life. I was "ok" with it, or so I thought. A year later I started realizing I wasn't done grieving. It was still painfull. I didn't see it at the time but I started drinking more. I became more emotional than ever before. I cryed at movies that used to have no effect on me.
Drinking, That took on a life of its own after the divorce, then my son died. I lost it. It wasn't pretty, I self medicated myself to deaths door. Then I woke up, came out of my coma and I quit, over 3yrs ago.
Yet time marches on, the list keeps growing daily, Close lifelong best friend bandmates, favorite aunts and uncles. You would think this would get easier not harder.
When my sister died on Friday I was shocked by her seemingly sudden extraction from my life and this earthly plane. At just 68, three years older than me this was hitting way to close to home again.
I was ready for this, right? I've been here before with mom and dad, my son and friends and survived, weathered the storm of emotions. I'm ready, Right? .....Wrong... Dead wrong.
Once, years ago playing at a biker friends "farewell" party, his wife brought all his black tshirts for anyone who knew him to take to remember him by. We were busy playing but at the end of the party there were three left, one for each of us. Mine says "Death is certain, Life is NOT".
Be SURE to tell your friends and family DAILY, you love them. You might not get another chance.
I haven't worked through this, the process isn't clear. Stay busy, yes that helps. Don't cancel gigs, get out and play, check. Let friends IN to help, don't isolate. Check. I've been spending days at a friends house for company. Sitting home alone days isn't a good idea right now. I have a decent support group of friends, I'll probably weather this storm too. For me this hasn't gotten easier, just more personal. I'm thankfully not medicating the heartache. I found myself thinking about things I never worried much about. Sadly, my family name dies with me and my brother, who has no kids.
This is not a plea for sympathy, but your empathy is appreciated. More of another exercise to exorcize the dark clouds. I think perhaps, I am writing this in hopes of helping to cauterize the wound. As if somehow putting thoughts down on paper will calm the winds and storm of emotion. Purge the heart of pain as if by some magic potion. If only it were so easy. ha!
I do meditate and pray, it helps.
The cosmos has a way of making strange connections. My sis has lived in Leeds England her entire adult life, met a musician there in college, married, family and became a Brit. I got the news of her demise Saturday. Sunday I played and the drummer asked I'd be interested in a project he's in. Said he'd have the leader call me. Monday morning the phone rang with a call, British accent on the line, I thought it was my brother in law, it was the bandleader, He's from Leeds. Thanks sis!

God bless you all. From my heart.
Peace
Kirk, out.

Kirk -

Thank you for writing this. As I read it, I was struck by how much of it mirrors my life and experiences. (Although your lust for adventure is clearly greater than mine.) I also lost my father when I--and he--were young, and my mother passed a few years ago at age 83. My older sister and I both married our respective spouses in the same year (33 years ago), and my brother-in-law passed away unexpectedly and way too young on Easter 2017. I endured the passing of Dad and Mom okay, and like all folks who have hit that "McCartney age," have seen several friends and relatives pass over time. But my brother-in-law was a huge presence in my life and in the lives of my family. It put me in a funk that I really haven't fully-recovered from. The family stuff is NOT the same without him.

A couple of weeks ago, a "close associate" from a local service club unexpectedly passed away. He had a massive heart attack right in front of a fire marshal and an EMT. They immediately began CPR, and I heard they gave him enough epinephrine to "revive a chair." When the ambulance arrived 17 minutes later, he was already dead. Great guy, who was always full of life, until it suddenly left him! I guess it's a reminder to all of us to live life fully every day.

Little bit of dark humor: One of my drummer-friends was complaining about how much harder he has to work than me at the gigs we play (i.e. tear down, load up, load in, set up, playing, tear down, load out, etc. etc.) I told him he's right! Drumming is hard work -- and it's extremely dangerous too! He looked puzzled, and I explained I read somewhere that the drummer mortality rate is 100%! (Probably the same for bass players, but I'm not so sure about guitarists. We'll have to see how much longer Keith Richards stays with us!)

Much love to y'all,
Greg

 

[BassmanPaul]

Keith? He’ll last forever. He is certainly pickled well enough.

Love back atcha Greg.

 

[Stumbo]

Keith? He’ll last forever. He is certainly pickled well enough.

Love back Catcha Greg.

<Pickled tears emoji here>

 

[alaskaleftybass]

<Pickled tears emoji here>

Jeez you crack me up @Stumbo !

 

[Kirk Bryant]

Pickle tears?

Thanks Greg.

 

[Kirk Bryant]

Hey @Stumbo, I had never noticed the links at the bottom of your page. I must say your work is impressive, even just a few minutes perusal I can see a number of links I want to explore. So thank you for your efforts. I'll try to remember to reference you in the future for my own use as well as pointing others there.

Also once again guys, thanks for the moral support, it has helped.

 

[Stumbo]

Hey @Stumbo, I had never noticed the links at the bottom of your page. I must say your work is impressive, even just a few minutes perusal I can see a number of links I want to explore. So thank you for your efforts. I'll try to remember to reference you in the future for my own use as well as pointing others there.

Also once again guys, thanks for the moral support, it has helped.

Thank you for your kind words.

Those pickled tears are real. Keep on keepin' on, brother man.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

As we move into Spring I wish everyone a wonderful time of the season. We've made it through a rough one and it might not be over. But we're still breathin' and payin' bills! Ha ha ha!

 

[Kirk Bryant]

I've shed quite a few tears this week. Thankfully they are no longer "pickled" tears. I am grateful for that. My sisters death was an interesting test to my sobriety. I passed the test with only a brief fleeting thought of drowning my sorrows. Sometimes it's difficult for the head to rule the hearts emotions.

 

[agedhorse]

Sometimes it's necessary to simply breath in and breath out (repeat as necessary) to survive.