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I am the A-hole, but how bad?

#141
As soon as the BBQ plate went on the amp was the time to handle this.
"Yo...you cant put that there" before he had the chance to grab the bass.
Then "What are you doing? Would've started a dialogue where he would have had to ask you
if he could use the bass. At that point... you are in control of your stuff.
Yeup, probably shouldnt have lost it at that moment.
LS sounds like his pride and ego got butt hurt and had to leave the band and doesnt even see that he was totally wrong. Who the fark puts food on someone elses rig. clueless.
Thats a warning right there as to what was to come in the future.
 
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#146
I wish there was a poll, so I could see just how divided we are on this, w/o reading every reply.
A plate of ribs on the amp isn't so bad, would have been worse if it was a beer or any drink.

I'm not very happy when people touch my gear, either.
Once I had a visitor over & as I was playing my bass just as a demonstration of how it sounded, the visitor just started moving the knobs on my amp.
I was a little miffed that there wasn't at least a "Hey do you mind?" beforehand, but it was worse when said visitor came onto TB within days to trash my rig.

That person is no longer allowed near my gear!
 
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#147
He thanked you. That's when you exploded.

What I believe is that the singer thought that if it wasn't ok, you'd have told him sooner. Was he right? Nope! But I can understand why he thought it was ok, since he picked it up and tried it out a bit, and he has already told you he's a bass player, and probably woudl be just fine with you picking up his bass and playing it (Assuming he has one...).

From your side, though, I totally get the difficulty in standing up for yourself, and with finding the right line that is crossed, and for having appropriate reactions to events like that.

It's very easy for me to preach to you - however if it was me? I'd have had major internal issues with the whole situation too.... so I'm absolutely 100% no better than you.

But from the outside, I can clearly see what the singers was thinking, and why he (wrongly) felt it was ok to keep playing, and why he thought he was being grateful and polite by thanking you.
 
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#149
sometimes you just have to treat people like children (usually when the act like it) and when you saw that go NO NO NO NO NO,,,,HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY-
hate to not be in a band over it - the guy DID say thanks,,,,,
you're only as big as the things that bug you
(no he should not have touched your bass but-a band breaking up over it or loosing members is sorta like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,wayyyYYYYYyyyyy over -reacting) - now back to bass talk
 
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#150
A-hole factor: 9/10.

It would only be an 8 if you'd said something when you saw the LS pick up the bass. But you said nothing...implying permission...and then blew up on the guy when he was trying to be nice and say thanks.

5/10 if you'd said from the start, "Dude, no big deal, but my gear is really expensive and I'd hate for you to be on the hook for it if you damaged it or spilled food on it. Cool? I appreciate it, man. Thanks."
 
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#153
I don't think the OP was out of line.

The LS was out of line for not asking BEFORE he used the OP's amp for a food tray and started messing with his bass.

Did the OP overreact? Maybe, but at least he communicated in a way that even a LS could understand.

Handsy people bug me, too. Once I took an old Sears 40XL guitar amp to a practice and the LS and bass player go over and start feeling it up, and the drummer was with them looking at it, and when the drummer walked by me on his way to his drums he stopped and put his hand around my guitar neck and said, "Nice low action." I was thinking, "What's with these mf's?," but just let it slide.
 
#154
Lead singers are strange animals. Hard to figure them out, worse than lead guitar players. He did thank you for using your bass, which is kind of like winning the lottery. In the future just put your bass back in it's case between sets. Inconvenient yes, but no more worries.
 
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#160
Hi Boss

He would have swallowed HIS guitar. After the event as youre correct about image etc etc.

I come from a brass back ground so there are some health edges to not using some one elses instrument. But every instrument pick up stresses etc from its owner and another player can cause problems, also my tuba second hand cost £6000 so DO NOT TOUCH IT.

On my bass (guitar) anyone even thinks about playing it .......

I dont think your going to miss anything with that band if no one tried to stop him. Bet the drummer would have a right fit if he messed about on the kit and accidentally broke something. But then again what do you call those weirdos that hang around with musicians?

Correct - drummers
 
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