Hot lead singer chick vs bass player...
just be prepared to find another band.
just be prepared to find another band.
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Is it bad to date the lead singer ???
- Thread starter Max Mona Kulas
- Start date
my 2 contributions:
I was in a band and two of the members started sleeping together. All was great, because they were working on music together. But she had this jealous streak. The guy's old GF's car broke, so he volunteered to go fix it, which ran late into the night, so he crashed on the couch and went straight to work the next morning. Female band member found out, and went to his day job, and threw coffee on him, then quit the band. End of band.
In my case, though, I married an amazing woman who sang, and wrote, well known in her town, who had a lot of experience performing and recording. I did, too, but in another part of the country. We made a pact: at home, we were "just us". At rehearsals, in the studio, I shut my mouth, and did what she needed to get done. Focus on the music. She was HMFIC, no doubt.. We had no personal dramas, fortunately, but we were both experienced enough to not air out laundry in public. It really takes maturity to do that.
Funny part was, we had both had to deal with idiots in the business. So, when one would come up to her, she would give me this "Gawd, here we go again" look, and I knew exactly what she meant and how it would play out. And she knew I knew, too.
I was in a band and two of the members started sleeping together. All was great, because they were working on music together. But she had this jealous streak. The guy's old GF's car broke, so he volunteered to go fix it, which ran late into the night, so he crashed on the couch and went straight to work the next morning. Female band member found out, and went to his day job, and threw coffee on him, then quit the band. End of band.
In my case, though, I married an amazing woman who sang, and wrote, well known in her town, who had a lot of experience performing and recording. I did, too, but in another part of the country. We made a pact: at home, we were "just us". At rehearsals, in the studio, I shut my mouth, and did what she needed to get done. Focus on the music. She was HMFIC, no doubt.. We had no personal dramas, fortunately, but we were both experienced enough to not air out laundry in public. It really takes maturity to do that.
Funny part was, we had both had to deal with idiots in the business. So, when one would come up to her, she would give me this "Gawd, here we go again" look, and I knew exactly what she meant and how it would play out. And she knew I knew, too.
Jack Casady and Grace Slick.
That didn't break up the band.
That didn't break up the band.
Yes get it while you can. The statistics show you’ll probably break up anyway and the record deal is only good for them as they intentionally lure them away. But the whole mess should inspire them to write something so yeah in the name of creativity go hit that.
I've done it. I've worked with others who've done it. I'm currently working with a BL/drummer and female vocalist who have been living together for years. Boundaries occasionally get crossed, feelings get hurt, egos get bruised, but growth and maturity can be the result. I've quit bands because of it but these days mostly shrug it off unless it's egregious. Music is an emotional business! I'm a lot older, a little wiser. My lovely and loving wife is not "one of us" and rarely even comes see me perform. That works for us.
The Bar Band Bassman
The Bar Band Bassman
All the posts re/ avoiding "drama," "complications," "relationships are difficult enough.."..... well... two thoughts..
1. Relationships are only difficult when one or both people in the relationship put themselves first. If both put the other first, it's a piece of cake.
2. A life without drama, complications, and challenges would be pretty easy to achieve. Just don't do anything. Not much of a life, however.
Never understood the ol' "Bros before hos," "The band comes first" stuff. My wife was kind enough to endure the "road" with me for two years after we got married. It was my privilege to eventually break up a trio that was doing really, really well (and we're all still friends and even occasionally still play together, 40 years later) because I wanted to raise a family with my wife and let her follow some of her dreams, too.
There is precious little in life as important as sharing it with someone who truly loves you and who you truly love; only one other guiding light in my experience is more important. A band is just a band. A shared life together is far more important if that's in the picture.
1. Relationships are only difficult when one or both people in the relationship put themselves first. If both put the other first, it's a piece of cake.
2. A life without drama, complications, and challenges would be pretty easy to achieve. Just don't do anything. Not much of a life, however.
Never understood the ol' "Bros before hos," "The band comes first" stuff. My wife was kind enough to endure the "road" with me for two years after we got married. It was my privilege to eventually break up a trio that was doing really, really well (and we're all still friends and even occasionally still play together, 40 years later) because I wanted to raise a family with my wife and let her follow some of her dreams, too.
There is precious little in life as important as sharing it with someone who truly loves you and who you truly love; only one other guiding light in my experience is more important. A band is just a band. A shared life together is far more important if that's in the picture.
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Looking for relationship advice (tongue-in-cheek?) .....on TB, oooooooookaaaaayyyy
What's funnier are all the serious armchair relationship responses
What's funnier are all the serious armchair relationship responses
Dating a member of the band you're in isn't usually a great idea and most often doesn't work out long term. Ask me how I know...
Unable to answer without knowing (in no particular order) how hot the singer is, how good the sex/relationship is, how musically/economically sound the band is, how mature EVERYONE in the band is... Different if both of you consider yourselves single and moving through relationships of the moment, as opposed to looking for longterm reationship/marriage/kids... And whether the band is a hobby or anyone's livelihood.
Here's a question - say you end up out of both the relationship and the band. Which would you miss more? What are your longterm aspirations for both the band and any romantic relationship.
Here's a question - say you end up out of both the relationship and the band. Which would you miss more? What are your longterm aspirations for both the band and any romantic relationship.
Indeed! She’s so in the pocket and can sing. Probably my favorite bassist.
An Interview with Rebecca Johnson
JazznFunk
Supporting Member
Been in plenty of bands where someone was dating someone else. Been in a relationship for 20+ years now so it was never something I personally was involved in. Sometimes it was no issue.... often times it created awkwardness, especially when it impacted decisions related to the music. It's only truly bad for the rest of the band because if the relationship ends, often the band does as well. There's also a certain amount of 'voting rights' that tend to be given to the members who are having 'extracurricular activities' and the 'power balance' can quickly shift, causing the usual band drama but to an even higher degree. Risk vs. reward. That's life.
Some great songs came out of those "relationships"Well, it never did Fleetwood Mac any harm!`
.
I dunno, some might say it worked out OK for these guys, in a manner of speaking.
Only if you do so to make the lead singer of the opening band jealous.
It's not the fall, but landing.
It's not the fall, but landing.
