You are aware my paltry four months of 'relating' subtracts from 29 years of having not?
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Is it wrong to think you're unattractive?
- Thread starter spade2you
- Start date
You are aware my paltry four months of 'relating' subtracts from 29 years of having not?
Thats not what you said. He said you dont need a relationship and that you really need friends.
You then said that friends are a product of a relationship, which is counterproductive to the discussion.
Way to keep pushing away the people who try to help you.
Ok, let me spell this out for you as clear as I can.
You need a friend, a real friend, or preferably a group of them, before you should start looking to have a love life.
You also put pretty much the two ends of the relationship spectrum out there as your apparent options.
"Back to the drawing board"=attempt for success met with failure.
"Perceived infinity"=the point at which tunnel vision has commenced long term after multiple failures
I have numerous friends, that does not in any way imply they are more successful than I am in that department
If they wouldnt care that you just disappeared all of a sudden I wouldnt call them friends.
Not according to how you described your relationship with them, at least from your point of view. You said you had acquaintances more than friends. If you don't have a type of friend, or a group of friends whom you could call to help you up when you really need it, then you're not going to have much, if any luck forging a stronger relationship with anyone else.
1. Gotta make use of what you have.
2. You didn't, I did. Fine. "Numerous times"
Well ones stayed around for over a decade. A small group of guys I used to go up jersey hardcore shows with (prior to said scene's demise) ate pretty friendly with me. A few guys have moved on with their lives that met the five year mark
Says who? Why not go out and get more and make use of that as well?
I agree with slo, if you have trouble making real friendships then youre at a huge loss when it comes to findind a relationship (if thats truly what you want).
A good relationship starts on friendly ground, and progresses from there.
According to some people I've known, I'm supposed to be considered attractive (and more so now that I'm actually slender... used to be quite chubby). But I've only had one girlfriend (and a nasty one at that), and one weird relationship with an unkempt and drunken 50-year-old woman (nope, she wasn't a "cougar" nor "MILF", not in the looks department).
So I do believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's obvious there are "standards" put by society, but who should give a **** anyways? I do now find myself attractive (at least in my own standards), and why should I care if I actually am to others? I can't control what others think of me, so why should I bother worrying?
Maybe you should think about the same, OP.
So I do believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's obvious there are "standards" put by society, but who should give a **** anyways? I do now find myself attractive (at least in my own standards), and why should I care if I actually am to others? I can't control what others think of me, so why should I bother worrying?
Maybe you should think about the same, OP.
Why is because there are some redeemable moments to find yourself in a better situation.
I've tried the whole making friends deal. I found a bar I liked years ago I became a regular at and met some ppl, but never actual "friends". Why? Because apparently when I try to make myself less loathable staying to myself and a few ppl I'm still judgeable. And given i never had any ill intent toward anyone there, I can't say I made myself a glutton for the treatment received, yet wearing glasses and NOT looking like trailer trash classifies me as a "know-nothing computer nerd". And the very few who learned saw they were in absolute mistaken judgement.
And I would add... never, ever be afraid of being weird (i.e. true to yourself).
Being a copycat of some "personality model" doesn't work in the attractiveness department. Be yourself, as weird as you can be (just don't go all psychopathic and murderous, and all is well), and you might just find someone who likes that "uniqueness" about you.
I haven't, yet, but I don't despair though.
