Is my friend a bad person?

[Pizza1988]

Honestly, I am utterly flabbergasted at how serious so many people took this.

Yet at the same time, I'm not.

Enjoy the new bass!

 

[Fxpmusic]

What if it was the third bass he'd purchased since losing his job last month? And he'd been totally up front about the other two?

It appears Bob knows this purchase was not necessary given the fact that he lost his job last month and had already purchased two Basses. It is the only reason he acted sneaky in the first place. Only Bob knows his budget and what this money could've been used to. Well, his wife knows that too. Hence the hiding.

 

[Splash7]

All of this over a Mini P? Geez

 

[eddododo]

It's tricky... honesty is the best policy of course, but there's also the factor of the wife's behavior. It's possible that historically she has reacted so poorly to purchases that *checks notes* Bob decided its easier to just avoid the conversation.. the subtleties are whether or not these purchases are actually causing a financial burden, or in other words is Bob unreasonable in buying stuff they can't afford, or does wife have too unreasonable of an expectation regarding allowing Bob some purchases with 'extra' money.

Honesty is the best policy, again, but it's up to him whether or not this has been discussed, and whether or not the wife's objections are reasonable and fair, or if it's instead kind of a hot-button issue where she automatically will have an issue with it based on some past interactions, wherein the financial impact or lack thereof doesn't factor in to her reaction.

I'll 'hide' some small purchases by not mentioning them, but after a few scuffles, my wife and I sat and discussed what expectations are reasonable- we reached an agreement that my gig money and similar funds can be spend on gear or tools, that huge purchases get mentioned, and that it becomes a discussion if we are going through a bit of a budget- it's not really reasonable for me to have hoarded $3k to spend on an extra bass I don't need, and expect to keep it without question if one of us loses a job and we're getting evicted lol.

only you- Er Bob can decide if the deception is 'reasonable,' and I certainly get it if it's a matter of 'happy wife happy life,' but if an occasional splurge or an affordable purchase makes more sense to hide to avoid conflict rather than to discuss, then that's an issue you need to decide if it's worth addressing. It's certainly not incredibly rare for couples to play this game, and it can be a perfectly healthy behavior, or it can be an incredibly bad sign

 

[John Webb]

He's going straight to Hell.........no purgatory!

 

[Fxpmusic]

It appears Bob knows this purchase was not necessary given the fact that he lost his job last month and had already purchased two Basses. It is the only reason he acted sneaky in the first place. Only Bob knows his budget and what this money could've been used to. Well, his wife knows that too. Hence the hiding.

Oh yeah. Pics or Bob is lying to us as well.

 

[Dominic D]

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

 

[Acoop]

This sounds like a Canadian version of 'good touch', vs 'bad touch'. ...
It's true that, here in Canada, that when you walk into a store and touch a bass you have to buy it. ... It's an old 'retail law' from back in the day when all you could buy was fruit and horse parts, shoes, saddles, etc. ... Think about it, who wants used fruit or saddles? ... Just explain to your wife that one day, the King of Canada, will overturn this archaic practice and bass players will be able to try out basses without being forced, sometimes at risk of ridicule, to purchase more basses.
Freedom comes in baby steps.

 

[Fxpmusic]

puh-leeze - not all women are alike. i own 2 pairs of athletic shoes, my work boots, a cheap pair of flats, and one bag - no brand, not leather. i do, however, own 8 basses (give or take, i have a lot of churn), a guitar and a keyboard - and an edrum kit.

Duh! It's talkbass. Gender stereotypes are those of a 70s sitcom.

I own more shoes (and basses & synths and bags for those) than my wife.

 

[Iroquoisroadwarrior]

Bob. Dude. You are my hero

 

[dalkowski]

This is TalkBass. We are all Bob.

 

[Gustopher]

Since you did ask for opinion, I would say Bob has his priorities out of line and should consider the need for so many basses and buying more while unemployed... especially when already owning so many. Can't play them all unless Bob's job is a professional bassist, then I say it's probably a bad move. But... thats just my opinion, I'm the type to just have 1-2 basses and ones usually just a beater for backup.

 

[GodPlayedBass]

So my friend - I'll call him Bob - told his wife yesterday that he had to take one of his basses down to the shop to have some work done on it. Then he took an empty bass case, kissed her goodbye, loaded the case into his car's trunk and headed to the store.
At the store Bob tried out a bass he was interested in and discovered he really liked it. Bob had cash on him that he had taken from a hidden spot in his garage where he puts money from gigs and stuff he sells, so he paid for the bass, asked the store to set it up etc and told them he would pick it up the next day. Then he went home and just left the empty case in his trunk.
The next day Bob went back to the store to pick up his new bass, put it in the case, went home and told his wife he was going to go to his music room to test out the repaired bass. After a little test - just a few hours - the new bass just slipped into the collection with his other dozen or so basses.
Bob says he really didn't intend to deceive anyone... it just happened. Is this normal behavior, or is my friend a bad person?

Getting a bass repaired is probably the same price honestly lmao

 

[grinx]

if *bob* is going to hide one thing from his wife, then *bob* is hiding other things as well and will continue to do so
*bob* is sneaky and selfish since he has someone else on his team, which is now no longer a team

 

[Mantis Tobaggan]

Not really but I think owning more than two basses is kinda nutty. I owned 7 once and they were all awesome, but it felt good to let 6 of them go.

 

[equill]

You and your wife does not laugh that much, right?

No, not right. We laugh a lot.
You may find this confusing, but it's possible to have an honest, trusting relationship with your partner and laugh with them.

Now that you mention it, though, my last girlfriend laughed much less. She was a very determinedly "sensible" person. That was also a relationship that was destroyed partially by a lack of openness and honesty.

 

[rashrader]

So, Bob spends his own money on something that he wants, but he feels that he needs to lie about to his spouse?

Bob is a spineless coward.

Don't be like Bob.

 

[Peltor]

No, not right. We laugh a lot.
You may find this confusing, but it's possible to have an honest, trusting relationship with your partner and laugh with them.

Well, then you obviously need to Google "irony". Or perhaps "ironie" if that makes more sense in duch than english as the consept of joking obviously is new to you....

 

[foolforthecity]

All my gear and what I do with it is my business, not my wife's, as long as it comes from my budget. She has hers.

 

[Acoop]

So, Bob spends his own money on something that he wants, but he feels that he needs to lie about to his spouse?

Bob is a spineless coward.

Don't be like Bob.

Would all the single men, please stand up!