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Just found out singer has other band

artdrtr

artdrtr

Jan 24, 2008
539
7
Redondo Beach, CA
#1
I'm in a classic rock cover band with a new "new" singer. She replaced our original singer 5 months ago. She has a theatre/opera background (think Benatar) and this is her first time singing classic rock or in a band for that matter. I felt like I've gone the extra mile to help her with confidence. We've practiced 1x each week and have done 2 gigs. The gigs were okay. She needs lyrics on stage but has an amazing voice and looks so that makes up for the mistakes... anyway, she has been responsible for canceling practice this past month (4 weeks) due to another commitment I thought was a theatre thing she does on the side...... But I just found out from her FB post she sang with another classic rock cover band (all girl) Friday night and our guitarist filled in!

I sent him a what the F email and he said she kicked ass on stage. I was beside myself. That is not what I want to hear. I drive 40 mins to practice each week, and practice her songs she calls out to learn and have been sitting on my butt for 4 weeks only to hear they both gig'd out the other night and did a kick ass show...

I am too pissed to think straight -- please help with some outside advise...
 
#6
My drummer is in, and this isn't an exaggeration, 9 other bands - some covers, some originals. Her being in another group is beyond OK, so don't get mad over that.

Having said that, her skipping rehearsal for another group is a no-no. She needs to learn how to prioritize both bands. If she can only rehearse at that time for whatever reason then she needs to choose which band she wants to be in, as it isn't fair to you guys if she's skipping practice each week.
 
#8
She should be a little more forthcoming about her other commitments and be a bit more conscious and respectful of other people's time / schedules being as important as her own, but she owes you no apology for being in another band. Come on now. Key is there being good communication.
 
#9
Thanks for the advice -- I agree she can do whatever she wants. So can I. I'm subbing for a gig, but I make our band a priority and feel she has not. A first, I thought it was her just being a noob and needing more confidence -- now I'm not sure. I went out of my way to help her since she is young. My issue is learning her songs on my time, driving 40 mins to paid rehearsals 1x a week only to sit on my hands for the past month with no practices or gigs.
 
#11
THAT is what pisses me off. She's getting better about it, but yes, still has a stand on stage -- I let it slide for our first 2 gigs since they were more low key and not the Enormodome :smug:

BUT our guitar player who filled in with her band said "she killed it on stage in front of a crowd" and "my jaw would have been on the floor" --- NOT what I want to hear. Makes me wonder how much she puts into our band vs the other one.





TNCreature said:
she reads lyrics on stage?
and you are not upset about THAT?
Click to expand...
 
#12
Every drummer I've worked with has tons of other bands -- probably the easiest to plug and play in any setting -- but a lead singer is the main focal point in our band and we've built it around her -- so to have her in two same genre bands both vying for the same gigs doesn't seem like it would work in the long run. At some point, either band is going to feel slighted by the other once gigs and practices feel compromised.



jmattbassplaya said:
My drummer is in, and this isn't an exaggeration, 9 other bands - some covers, some originals. Her being in another group is beyond OK, so don't get mad over that.

Having said that, her skipping rehearsal for another group is a no-no. She needs to learn how to prioritize both bands. If she can only rehearse at that time for whatever reason then she needs to choose which band she wants to be in, as it isn't fair to you guys if she's skipping practice each week.
Click to expand...
 
#13
Being in another band - totally ok.

Not telling you about the other band - not ok.

Canceling practice because of this other band - not ok.

Canceling practice 4 weeks in a row because of this other band - disrespectful, inconsiderate, and totally unacceptable.

Sounds like a band sit down is in order. Expectations need to be communicated, on all sides. Maybe you'll come to a consensus, maybe you won't.

Worst thing that happens is that you end up without a lead singer.

Which has already been the case for the last month anyway.
 
#16
Venting here on TB is ok, but try to get it out of your system before you confront/consult/conversate with the band.

I do negotiations frequently and you have to keep in mind that being RIGHT has nothing to do with getting what you WANT. You can be 100% right and totally screwed out of everything. It happens all the time.

So try to do all the venting now, because it will NOT help you achieve anything when talking with the band.

It could be perfectly true that the singer has treated you and your band unfairly, but if you're going to gain any leverage from that, you have to stay ice cold when discussing it.
 
#18
Depends on the status of your band. Are you booked through the summer. That would be a reason for them to stay.

What do you have on the table for them, why should they stay.

I am glad no one in my band has other commitments. Were all in one band and give it 200%.

It's no secret where I stand on being in multiple bands.
 

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